I already said that but I’ll keep repeating it from time to time so that you remember it – you can’t control everything! 🤷🏼♀️
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You can plan what you want 📅, you can make the most precise schedules 🗒, you can be excelent at time management 🕰 and you’ll still never predict everything, there always will be surprises and you need to be ready for them. ⚠️
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I am a control freak 😅 and I write all my projects, ideas and plans down in my calendar. I tried to plan everything, sometimes even couple months or a year ahead! 🙈 I had a plan for my 20s and my precise goals that I needed to achieve e.g. by the age of 25. The more plans didn’t work out, the more devastated and angry I was 😵. I even stopped realising how much other stuff I managed to achieve, I only saw those unrealized plans. This led me to having panic attacks.🤯 I started going to a therapist. It was not good.😬
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Remember, planning is good and I am all for it BUT you need to be ready that it can go wrong sometimes, that you might have some surprises and that some plans not only may delay but they may actually never happen. And that’s ok. 👍
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2018 was a year of big changes for me, not careerwise but with my relationship and with my stability. I got married 💒, we got and moved to our new nest 🏡, we went on a honeymoon 🏝. There was lots of work (with the wedding and apartment) but it was the best year of my life 🤗.
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2019 was supposed to be MY year, for my projects. I published a book in February 📖, I started this blog 📝 (I actually started it in November last year but it was quiet here for first 2 months) and I was supposed to start writing my 2nd novel ✏. Meanwhile we had many family issues, health issues and in the end I did maybe 30% of what I had planned with those projects. And that’s ok. 😉
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When such a situation appears you need to be ready to be flexible and to choose what’s more important. ⚠️ I still did a lot this year (+there are still 3 more months left!) and there will still be next year 😊
Author: smileysociety
Being different
Here are 5 reasons why BEING DIFFERENT is GOOD! 👩🎤 🔆1.You are BRAVE and couragous to stand out 💪 Not everyone can be such, usually people want to blend in. 🔆2. You are INDEPENDENT, you don’t follow social trends 🤗 🔆3. You have bigger chance to SUCCEED as nobody has succeeded by doing what everybody else was doing, you need to be unique, you need to set a new, original path 🛣 🔆4. You are more INTERESTING as you’re not just a copy of somebody else 😁 🔆5. You are STRONGER by having to live with people staring at you or talking about you, not everybody can stand it 💪
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Hope that is enough to show you that being different is good. That it is actually BETTER than being ordinary.
Now go and be different!
Go and be you! 😊
Setting your goals
When following dreams one of most important things is to set your goals right. Goals set right will help you UNDERSTAND the path you need to walk through more, it will be easier for you to PLAN your next steps, it will be easier for you to CONTROL if it’s going good, there will be LESS PRESSURE and it will be easier for you to BE PERSISTANT 😊
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Goals need to set with a SMART method 🤓. That’s right, SMART:
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S – Specific – Provide enough detail so that you know exactly what you should be doing. For example, stop setting goals such as „I need to lose 10kg in 3 months”. Make it more „I need to start eating more vegetables and workout 4 times a week” 🥦💪. This is more doable, you have more control over it (as you know exactly what you need to do) and there’s less pressure. Try sticking to it and just wait for results. Same with e.g. growing here on ig. Instead of setting a goal like „I need to get 1k new followers in a month” try „I need to post daily, take more colorful photos and interact with other users more”. Just do it and wait for the results 😉
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M – Measurable – A measurable goal has an outcome that can be assessed as a hit or miss ✔❌. So e.g. you can easily check whether you worked out 4 times this week or posted everyday.
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A – Achievable – An achievable goal has an outcome that is realistic given your current situation. Make sure you actually have the time 🕰 to workout 4 times a week or post daily. Don’t set such goal if you know you won’t make it.
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R – Realistic – Start small. If you set your goal too high („I need to lose 10kg in a month” or „I need to gain 10k followers in a month”) there’s too big pressure and you will give up quickly if you won’t see results you’d want 🤔
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T – Time Bound – Set a timeframe for the goal: „in three months”, „by six months”. Setting an end point for the goal gives you a clear target to achieve 🏁
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Now that you know how to set your goal right let me know what are your goals!
Mine are: eat healthy + workout 3-4 times a week, post 5 times a week + take more colorful photos and read at least 60 pages a week 😊
Unhappy to choose
I feel like nowadays people are unhappy because…there’s too much to choose from! Yes, exactly, because there are too many options 🤷🏼♀️
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Subconsciously we want to have EVERYTHING so once we have to choose 1 thing out of 30 we become stressed, anxious about the decision and then in the end unhappy about the choice we made 🤯.
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Daniel Levitin tells a story in „The Organized Mind” about one of his students years ago who came to USA from Romania (Soviet at the time). He recalls how he met this girl in a store in front of a shelf full of different pens almost crying. She wasn’t able to pick one. Back in Romania they had only 3 types of pen and that’s it. “Which one do I need for my biology class? Which one for poetry? Do I want felt tip, ink, gel, cartrifge, erasable? Ballpoint, razor point, roller ball?” ✒🖋🖊.
Then once she chooses she’ll be worried if she got the right one. She’ll go back home and will want the other one, the one she didn’t buy.
Sounds familiar?
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It may sound as a simple and quite basic example but if you think about it you choose a product every day 🤷🏼♀️. You do grocery shopping and you choose one milk before the other, you choose one jumper instead of another one, you choose one smartphone instead of a different brand. We make hundreds decisions everyday and once we decide we keep wanting the thing we didn’t get! Mind will always want something that is out of reach, something that we are missing 🤷🏼♀️.
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We are all forced to make plenty decisions every day and this can easily make one unhappy 😬😰.
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BUT!
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Instead of thinking what you DIDN’T get think of what you DID get!
Appreciate that smartphone, smile at this new jumper, appreciate that pen! 🤗
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Do you know why people in Africa or South America are happier than us? (I trully believe they are). Because they don’t have that ‘problem’! They simply appreciate what they have. They don’t have dozens brands of milk to choose from and wonder if that’s the right choice. They are simply happy because they got milk.
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Minimalism and gratitude.
That’s the answer to it. Learn to choose 1 thing, to be happy about it and to forget about the ones you didn’t choose! 🙏
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FOMO or JOMO?
FOMO or JOMO? Which one do you practice?
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Nowadays people are so soaked into social media and Internet that it becomes hard for them to get off their phones. 📱 This habit got its name – FOMO – Fear of Missing Out.
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Some of us can’t spend a day (or even an hour!) without the phone, without looking at instagram or checking facebook every 5minutes. Can you relate?
I used to HAVE TO check snapchat (when it was still on top 😅) everyday. I HAD TO see new stories before they disappear after 24h. I used to scroll whole facebook feed until I got to my last seen post. Same with twitter. I just had to see it all. What for? Don’t know. I just felt like I can’t miss out.
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I had that problem not only with social media but with emails too. I could go on holidays, set an autoresponder and then check all the emails and reply to them straight away anyways. I just couldn’t let it go.
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But luckily I changed FOMO into JOMO – Joy of Missing Out 😊. Now whenever I go on holidays I am happy to leave my mailbox full and let those unread emails wait for me. I go on instagram when I have time and feel like it, not because I HAVE TO see all the instastories before they disappear.
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If you have same problem as I used to have just try (try really hard) to let your phone aside for 1 full day. Once you see that nothing happens when you miss out on the news and new posts on your social media it will be easier for you to do it next time and then another time and another.
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Believe me, life is not all about social media! 😊
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Enjoy JOMO!
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Complimenting vs Complaining
Do you compliment strangers as often as you complain? Do you thank people who serve you a meal in a restaurant and say how happy you are with their service? Do you praise people who help you out on a helpline? Are you open to say a nice thing to a stranger when he/she does something extra for you? 🙏
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I work in a contact center and I talk to many clients everyday and I’ve noticed that 90% of people either argue and complain 😡 or say nothing at all. It is honestly so rare when I get a phone call or an email from a client just thanking me and saying that he’s very happy with my services and that I’ve helped him a lot.
Why don’t people say nice things as often as bad ones?
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It is same with reviews. People usually leave reviews on restaurant or hotel when they have some remarks to share and things to complain about. Can you relate? Have you ever written a complaint? I’m sure you have. But have you ever written an email/review saying „I have nothing to complain about, everything was perfect, thank you for your services”? 😉 I try to do it as often as sending those less happy emails. We all need to thank ourselves for being nice/helpful too! Not just complaining! 🤗
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And it doesn’t have to be only about services and talking to strangers businesswise! Thank/compliment your friends or collegues on daily basis too!
For example, couple weeks ago I asked my boss for a one-on-one meeting. She was 100% sure that I want to complain about something whereas I surprised her and said „So as not to come to you only to complain and talk about injustices in our team or short bonus I actually wanted to come to you and to thank you”. She was shocked. Nobody has ever asked her for a meeting just to thank her for what she’s doing.
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Do you know what I mean now?
Do you think you could do the same?
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Please lets all try to compliment more than complain or at least to say nice things as often as bad things! 🤗
Free happiness!
Some people say you can’t be happy without money 💰.
Don’t get me wrong, money are much needed and useful obviously BUT don’t forget about happy things you can get FOR FREE!
1. Beautiful sunsets – it won’t cost you anything yet sometimes it can take your breath away! 🌅
2. Hug / kiss – hugging or kissing your friend / partner definitely won’t cost you anything yet it will make you feel loved, needed and happy 💏
3. Smile – smile at others! Even at the strangers. It will also go a long way and will make anyone’s mood better ☺
4. Long walk in the mountains or forest – long walks are very useful as you will clear your mind, relax and get new ideas 🏞
5. Appreciate the blue sky. Is it a pretty day? If so, head outside and enjoy the pretty blue sky. Allow yourself to give thanks for the beautiful day 🌝
6. Volunteer Your Time. Volunteering your time is a great way to help others and get enjoyment at the same time. Whether it’s a soup kitchen or an animal shelter, there are many places that could benefit from a helping hand 🤝
7. Meditate. Take some time to rest, relax, and center your mind to find happiness 🧘🏼♀️
8. Make A Grateful List. Writing down the things that you are grateful for can instantly make you happy ✒
See?
And there’s so much more of free things/activities that can make you happy!
You don’t need money to be happy, believe me! 😊
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