Motivational Mondays

MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY – STEP 12: Learning how to defer gratification

Last week we’ve talked about deferring gratification – does it apply to you? 🤔 Does your brain demand a reward here and now? 😬 Do you forget about your goal when you see something you want (e.g. a cake while being on a diet) and you easily succumb to temptation? 🧐
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Don’t worry! The art of deferring gratification can be learned, same as you can train your willpower 💪.
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Try this exercise from Kelly McGonigqal’s book „The Willpower Instinct”: It appears that 10 minutes is not a long time to wait for something we want. Neurologists however discovered that it has great impact on how your brain processes the vision of reward 🏆. If instant gratification is supposed to come after 10 minutes then our brain sees it as future benefit 🔜. Hence the system that processes the promise of a reward calms down and strong biological impulse to instant consummation weakens ⬇️.
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In order for your brain 🧠 to think straight try waiting 10 minutes before you succumb to temptation. If after 10 minutes you still want it, take it/do it 😄. Before the time passes though try to think of long-term benefits you’ll get for resisting temptation. If it’s possible, try also creating some physical or visual distance ↔️.
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If you need to do something you don’t feel like doing you can also use „10 minutes rule” to help you resist the temptation of delaying necessary actions and to force yourself a bit to do them😉. Try making it „do it for 10 minutes, then you can stop”. Let yourself stop working after 10 minutes – it might turn out that as you already had started you will want to continue 😉. For me, it’s always the most difficult to start working and when I do I usually want to finish so this trick works on me quie well 👍
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Try doing that excercise and write down your results. „10 miutes rule” might work great when you don’t feel like working! ☺

Motivational Mondays

MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY – STEP 11: Deferring gratification

What ability do you need to learn/practice in order to empower your strong will and be able to stand up, take that first step and go work on your dreams/projects when you don’t feel like it? 🤔
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Please read and let me know if it sounds familiar 🧐. Your friend brings cake to work and you can’t resist. You feel lilke dropping everything and taking an evening off to watch TV instead of work (and you keep doing that everyday)…
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Your brain 🧠 demands a reward here and now! You forget about your goal and all the reasons why you wanted to achieve it. You succumb to temptation…🤭😜
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Or maybe…? With your last remains of strongwill you leave that cake from friend somewhere out of sight, you turn TV off and and work on your dreams thinking thay each hour spent working gets you closer to your goal 💪.
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The ability to postpone pleasures or rewards is called ➡️ ‘deferring gratification’ ⬅️ in psychology. It is crucial to realize long-distance goals because it helps you not to succumb to temptation each time 😉.
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Why is it so hard to defer gratification? Because seeing temptation or reward instantly launches more primitive and oldest part of our brain demanding gratification right away 😬. Luckily we also have prefrontal cortex (part of our brain 🧠) that can cool that instant rush because it is responsible for controlling our impulses .
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Task for today 📝: think how deferring gratification looks in your case? In what situations is it easier or more difficult to you? What helps you defer gratification?

Motivational Mondays

MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY – STEP 10: What can weaken your willpower

3 mind traps that can weaken your willpower 😳
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➡️ 1.Thinking „everything or nothing” 😬
Have you ever thought „I need to do everything from my ‘to do’ list or drop everything”? 🤔
If yes, then you got into „everything or nothing” trap which can have huge impact on your actions and effects (or lack of them 🙄). Thinking like that you don’t see your failures as small errors that you can learn from, you see it as total failure and you might start withdrawing generalized conclusions about yourself like „I’ll never succeed”, „I’m a failure” etc. STOP! ⛔
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➡️ 2. Excessive pessimism or optimism „If I haven’t succeeded in 1 year I’ll never succeed” – that’s excessive pessimism when you have only negative thoughts about your future 1👎. Excessive optimism is when you ignore your past attempts and previous experience and keep thinking that „this time will be different, it will be perfect” 👍. For example, you wanted to workout regularly, you’ve had couple attempts at it and failed each time but now you think that you’ll have the willpower and you’ll workout 6 times a week for 3 months 😬. If you know what I’m talking about write all of such examples down. Now try to make each one of them more realistic e.g. „I’ll try to workout more regularly. I probably won’t be able to workout 6 times a week right away so I’ll workout 2 times this week, 3 times next week and keep improving”.
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➡️ 3. Exaggeration – You exaggerate all difficulties and make everything sound impossible 🙄. „I won’t make it”, „I never do anything right”.
If you do that write all of those thoughts down and write a counterargument to each one 👍

Motivational Mondays

MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY – STEP 9: Training willpower

I’ve got good news for you – willpower can be trained! 😃
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It is often treated like something you either have or not but psychology researches show that you can train your strong will just like your muscles 😃. And nobody was born with a 6-pack, right? 😄
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It is great news because those who aren’t scrupulous naturally can train it. You’ve actually already started it by building your plan using your strenghts and weaknesses (steps 5-6) and by creating visualisation (step 7) 😉
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Since willpower works like a muscle it has limited source of energy and strength. There are things that empower it 👍but there are also things that weaken it 👎. Your goal is to get to know and, if possible, remove your obstacles to having strong will.
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Those most basic ones are stress, tiredness and lack of sleep 😴. It seems so simple, right? Yet you do not always see the connection between those factors and your willpower.
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Task for today: Observe and write down 📝(or analyze past experiences if you’re calm and rested today) how stress and tiredness have impact on your willpower: What situations are those? 🤔 What happens then? How do you react? 🧐

Motivational Mondays

MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY – STEP 8: Willpower

How willpower actually works?🤔
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Willpower divides into 3 parts:
🔸️Power „I want to” – power to do something even though you’d prefer to avoid it
🔸️Power „I don’t want to” – power helping push temptations away
🔸️Power „I desire!” – power that remembers what you desire in long-term
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Willpower is what differs us from animals😉. By forseeing future you are able to not give in to impulses or instincts. We often want to delete lower impulses or some feelings but they are important too! 😉 For example disgust protects you from bad food 🥩, fear from danger ⚠️ and desires help you set goals 😊.
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If you want to improve your willpower it is not about fighting impulses but about using them to help you 🙃.
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Do you know that sometimes you make decisions on autopilot? 🤔 And that’s good because there are so many of them during a day that your brain would not be able to get to them all! 🤯
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Your task for today is to notice that autopilot and improve your self-awarness 😉. Observe and write down the situations when you need your willpower. What thoughts, feelings, impulses appear in those situations? 🤔 Which moments/elements are crucial to making a decision? Noticing them will help you stop that bad autopilot and prepare for those situations earlier. 🤗
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If you want to learn more about it I advice you to read Kelly McGonigal’s book „The Willpower Instinct: How Self-Control Works, Why It Matters, and What You Can Do To Get More of It”

Motivational Mondays

MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY – STEP 7: Visualisations

You often hear that imagining success helps you get motivated 💪. Research shows though that it is not imagining success that helps but visualisation of process so imagining the path that takes you to your goal 😉. This way you practice in your mind the difficult path that awaits you and it helps you get ready for its all steps.
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What works best on you? A positive ending and what happens when you reach the goal 👍 or negative outcome and what happens if you don’t reach it 👎?
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➡️ If positive visualisation is for you (like me 🙃) imagine yourself working hard, reaching next steps towards your goal 📈. Imagine yourself with a strong will and e.g. staying home to work on your business, or whatever your goal is, instead of going to a party 😉. Imagine yourself making smart decisions like getting up 30min earlier in order to workout before work or to meditate 🧘‍♀️ to begin a new day with a calm mind. Imagine how you feel having picked those wise decisions 🤔
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Now imagine yourself at the end of the line, you’ve reached your goal! 🏅 Imagine your friends & family congratulating you on a fullfiled dream, imagine yourself giving some interview to a newspaper on how you managed to get where you are! 😎
So powerful! I usually am so pumped up after such visualisations!
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➡️ If you feel more motivated seeing negative outcome and what happens when you don’t succeed imagine yourself e.g. fatter, not earning as much as you’d want and not being able to e.g. give your kids everything you’d want to.
Imagine that your family and friends tell you that your laziness problem becomes more and more serious. You walk into a party and people look at you and gossip. Now imagine how you can avoid those situations. You work hard. You put your goals first. See with your imagination getting an award.
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➡️ Now think of your visualisations.
Decide whether you are more sensitive to punishments 👎 or to rewards 👍.
Imagine the proces taking you to your goal– make sure to imagine specific situations.
Write your visualisation down 🖊
Keep reading it when you need it

Motivational Mondays

MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY – STEP 6: Building your plan/ ‚to do’ list using your weaknesses

Today let’s talk about how to plan your ‘to do’ list using your weaknesses and how to be ready to fight any excuse! 👊
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You’ve already extablished what are your weaknesses, now knowing what could be your excuse against getting to work in the future, plan your response in advance! 😃
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Imagine some future scenarios that could be an obstacle on your way to reaching your goal and find solution for it. Write them down like this: “If situation X happens, I’m gonna do Y”. 📃
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➡️ For example, if you want to lose some weight and you plan to work out 4-5 times a week but then when that moment comes you don’t feel like it and end up staying on the sofa, prepare that strong anti-excuse sentence for you! 👊
🔸️ “If I’m gonna feel lazy and not willing to workout, I’m gonna watch supermodels on a runway to get motivated to look that way.” 😜
➡️ Or when you need to work on your start up business but don’t feel like it:
🔸️”If I’m gonna start watching tv instead of working on my business plan, I’m gonna stop and read some inspirational stories of famous entreprenours and how they started to be more motivated.”
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It is important to prepare those anti-excuse sentences earlier when you feel very excited and motivated about some new plans! 🤩 E.g. I am always very motivated and ready to get busy on Sunday evening when I plan upcoming week, I tend to plan plenty things to do the next couple of days and then often don’t feel that excited & motivated to actually do them when that time comes 🙄 – that’s why it is so important to prepare those powerful sentences earlier (I’m preparing them on Sunday when planning everything) and write them down 📃. Then in a moment of weakness read that sentence! Something like a message to your future self! 😉
Try it out!

Motivational Mondays

MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY – STEP 5: Building your plan/ ‘to do’ list using your strenghts

First lets focus on your strenghts. In previous step you named all your advantages, what you are good at, what comes easy for you. Now use it in building your plan! 🤗
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🔸️Your strenght: I’m very organized 🤓
➡️ Example in practice: I’ll plan each week and each day precisely, what do I have to do to reach my goal. It’s easier for me to get to work with a propper ‘to do’ list.
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🔸️ Your strenght: I’m flexible / creative 😜
➡️ Example in practice: Whenever new situation/obstacle appears don’t freak out. You’re creative, you got this! 💪Just sit down and think of a new way/new plan how to solve it/go around your obstacle 🤔.
E.g. I often work longer hours at work and end up with shorter time to work on my personal projects or suddenly get some family issue BUT I don’t cancel my ‘to do’ list completely 🚫. I work around it, leave those things that I can still manage to do that day and move some other stuff to the following day. Sometimes I change my ‘to do’ list even 5 times a day 🤪 but I never cross a thing to do off my list completely.
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🔸️ Your strenght: I am able to work late hours but I’m not an early bird 😴
➡️ Example in practice: You know yourself best! If it’s hard for you to get up early (e.g. on Saturdays) don’t plan anything for early hours thinking (“ah, I’ll definitely manage to get up this time!”). If you’re a night owl plan your stuff to do for evenings! 😉 You know what your most productive time of the day is, use it!
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Next week we’ll talk about how to plan your ‘to do’ list using your weaknesses and how to be ready to fight any excuse!

Motivational Mondays

MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY – STEP 4: Your strenghts and weaknesses

We’ve already talked about common reasons of lack of motivation, we’ve learned how to set a goal and a deadline, now we need to get to know ourselves better in order to work better later on! 😉
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In order to make yourself work/boost your motivation and will to get something done we need to establish what are your strenghts and weaknesses!
Tell me:
* what are you good at? 🤔
* what comes easy for you? 😉
* what do you feel powerful/strong at? 💪
* what do others appreciate in you? 🧐
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Now think deep and name your weaknesses. It is important to know what we need to battle with and how to set your ‘Plan B’ for situations when you don’t feel the desire to follow your dreams.
So tell me:
* what do you struggle with? 🤔
* what kind of situations scare / overcome you? 😬
* what part of your character can become an obstacle in reaching your goal? 😶
* what weaknesses would your close ones name in you? 🤔
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Write all of it down!
I promise you we will work on some excercises to boost your motivation soon but those steps before it are crucial in order to know what we actually need to work on!

Motivational Mondays

MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY – STEP 3: Setting a goal and a deadline

What is your goal? What do you need motivation for? 🤔
We’ll get to tips/steps how to work on our willpower and how to boost our motivation soon but 1st we need to learn to set precise goals we want to reach and how to estimate deadline for it 😊
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Do you know a SMART method of setting a goal?
A goal needs to be:
S – Specific – Provide enough detail so that you know exactly what you should be doing. For example, don’t set a goal like „I need to lose 10kg in 3 months”. Make it more „I need to start eating more vegetables and workout 4 times a week” 🥦💪. This is more doable and you have more control over it
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M – Measurable – A measurable goal has an outcome that can be assessed as a hit or miss ✔❌. So e.g. you can easily check whether you worked out 4 times this week.
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A – Achievable – An achievable goal has an outcome that is realistic given your current situation. Make sure you actually have the time 🕰 to e.g. workout 4 times a week. Don’t set such goal if you know you won’t make it.
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R – Realistic – Start small. If you set your goal too high („I need to lose 10kg in a month”) there’s too big pressure and you will give up quickly if you won’t see results you’d want 🤔
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T – Time Bound – Set a timeframe for the goal: „in three months”, „by six months”. Setting an end point for the goal gives you a clear target to achieve 🏁
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Now how to set good time bound/deadline for it? 🤔
I recently learned that there actually is a mathematical formula for estimating a time that you need for some project and you can calculate it using the PERT Formula 🧐
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The PERT estimate (E) is based on a formula that includes your optimistic time estimate (O), your most likely time estimate (M) and your pessimistic time estimate (P). The basic equation is this:
E = (O + 4M +P) / 6
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So now go on set a goal and estimate the time you need to reach it!
I want to workout 4 times a week and start writing my 2nd book (+couple more). And my deadline is Oct 27th because we’re starting holidays then and going to…Mexico! 😊
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So tell me, what are your goals? 😊