You can’t control everything in your life & you can’t predict everything. And you shouldn’t!
We want to have everything organised, planned, to be prepared for everything but life is full of surprises! The more you’ll want to be prepared for everything the less you will be ready for surprises.🤷🏼♀️
It is good to plan things ahead but you need to also be prepared for surprises. You can write down what can go wrong, this way you’ll be a bit prepared and you won’t be that surprised. But what is really important is to look for an alternative solutions once something unexpected comes up. .
Another thing is to get loose a bit from time to time. 🤪 Don’t plan every moment of your life. Let yourself be a bit spontaneous! We tend to be 1 day ahead in our heads. We keep thinking what we have to do tomorrow instead of just being here & now. ☺
It’s good to plan your future but be present in the present moment too. Just as the word ‘present’ tells you to. 🤗
It’s good to be spontaneous and live in the moment but you need to organize your plans and future too.
You need to find that balance in all this. ⚖
I plan my time between Monday and Friday afternoon (with evenings included as I do lots of work after my full-time job) but I never plan some serious „to do” stuff for weekends or days off. This is the time to relax and to be spontaneous. Is it sunny? Lets go on a long walk!
If some things come up during my planned time I don’t close up on other options. If I have e.g Tuesday evening planned because I need to work on my book, blog, music agency or anything else but I get a call from a friend that he’s in town I change my plans. You need to be FLEXIBLE. Just ask yourself „Will something happen if I don’t do it today?”. After all I see my friend once a year. I can do my work tomorrow.
Don’t overuse it. Don’t keep postponing your plans. „I’ll do it tomorrow, today I don’t feel like it”. You may never have the energy to do some work. Just push yourself 😊
You need to be flexible. To be both organised but ready for surprises and spontaneity at the same time.
In order to grow your need to leave your comfort zone.
In order to achieve great things you need to leave your comfort zone.
In order to change your life you need to leave your comfort zone.
Success doesn’t happen by doing ordinary, easy things. You need to push yourself further to get what you want. You need to overcome your weaknesses to grow. 💪Think of it as going to the gym – you need to feel pain and feel uncomfortable for the workout to work. You don’t burn calories without losing your breath and you don’t build muscles without getting tired. This is this barier you need to overcome to get results. That barier is your comfort zone.💥
The same rule is when it comes to work, following dreams or anything else. You need to constantly leave your comfort zone. If something is too easy it means you’re doing something wrong. There NEED TO BE DIFFICULTIES. And you need to overcome them.📈
For example, if you want to be a successful businessman but you are shy, you don’t like talking to and meeting strangers – you need to overcome it.
If you ask musician or an actor if he/she is scared before going onto the stage most of them will tell you they are. No matter how many years they’ve been doing it. They overcome their stress, their anxiety and/or stagefreight every evening.🎙
There are plenty people who are stuck at work doing what they hate but they don’t look for a new job because they’ve been working there so many years that they can just keep doing it. The truth is they are stuck in their comfort zone. They are scared of changes, of new challenges, of meeting new people and starting from the beginning so they stay where they are. That is not right. You need to overcome this fear of changes, you need to overcome your weaknesses, you need to leave your comfort zone, go out and do what you want!
Everybody wants to be at home, in PJs not stressing about anything whole day. But this is not the way to achieve great things.
You need to grow to achieve success but you won’t grow without leaving comfort zone.
We’ve learned about gratitude (see my previous post) now it’s time to learn to notice those little things/aspects we need to be grateful for. 👀
In my yesterday’s post I wrote about being grateful and noticing big aspects like being healthy, having family or not being blind but today I want you to learn how to be happy about the little things. This is another KEY TO HAPPINESS. ⚠️⚠️⚠️ Good stuff won’t happen to you everyday, let’s face it. But in order to be happy everyday you need to smile at the little things. 😊 Like the color of the sky, good weather or delicious food 😋. If you think about it, good things DO happen to you everyday, you just need to look for them sometimes. 😁
Look around you, stop for a moment and look at other people. Have a look at colors of your surrounding. Appreciate small gestures from other people like a waiter taking care of you and being friendly in a restaurant or a doctor that wants to help you and take care of your comfort ❤. Look at the street you pass everyday, notice its buildings and their details. We tend to be in rush all the time and doing many things automatically. Stop.⚠️ You need to be present in a moment to appreciate here and now.⚠️
Focus on the things you’re doing. Stop doing everything automatically. Your mind is off then and it doesn’t appreciate the things that are happening. Before you start eating your meal stop and appreciate its colors, its smell. 👃
Just slow down and try to be present.❤
This is called MINDFULLNESS. There are many excercises to develop it so you appreciate some situations or moments more and do less things automatically.
One of the excercises is eating a raisin – perfect for beginners. Act like you’ve never eaten or seen a raisin before. Notice the way the raisin looks, how it feels, its smell or taste. Then slowly eat it but focus on it.👅
If you want to excercise it and learn to be present here and now hence appreciate your life more see this article – https://positivepsychologyprogram.com/mindfulness-exercises-techniques-activities/
One of the main and easiest ways to happiness is being GRATEFUL.
Are you grateful for what you have? If you’re thinking „what do I have to be grateful for?!” you’re probably one of those people who have lots but don’t appreciate it. You don’t have to be a millionaire or have a perfect life to be grateful. People tend to think that they don’t have anything to be grateful because they’re not rich or because they have some problems. ALL people have problems. Poor ones and rich ones. ⚠️
But the key is to appreciate what you have.
Are you healthy?
Do you have a place to live?
Do you have food in your fridge? Do you have family?
Do you have friends?
Do you have both legs?
Are you able to see, hear, talk? There are so many things /aspects that we need to be grateful for yet most of us take those things for granted.
People keep thinking that it is an absurd to be grateful that we see or have both legs. That it is a given. Well sadly not for everyone. Imagine not having that. I am grateful I am healthy, able to see, hear and walk everyday! ❤❤❤ The truth is, there are many people who lost their legs, are blind, deaf or very sick but still can appreciate life and be happy and those are the people we should follow and learn from them! 💪
Do you have both parents? I know this may not be as simple as the 1st question in the age of divorces but even if you have only one parent you are still more lucky than all those poor children living in shelter houses.
Did you have dinner today? So simple right? Yet still, if you have, you are still more lucky than millions of people in the world who starve to death.
You have PLENTY OF THINGS TO BE GRATEFUL FOR! You just need to learn to see them. 👀
You can do an easy exercise – write down what are you grateful for on a piece of paper and put it in a jar. Keep doing it for next 30 days. You’ll see how many things you have to be grateful for! + when you’ll have a bad day you can read them all and it will make you feel better. 😊
What are you grateful for?
⚠️ DON’T COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHERS ⚠️
We tend to compare ourselves to people around us. We want to be richer than a guy next to us, prettier than every girl in the room, smarter than your boss and better than all the people in the world. As much as I encourage to get motivated by others, work on your dreams and get on your way to success, you can’t get crazy over that, you need to find that limit. While you work your ass off to beat everybody else just stop and appreciate YOU. 😊Think what you’ve done, what you’ve accomplished. It is good to be INSPIRED by somebody else and to have that as motivation for you to work but you CAN’T get sad or lose confidence over somebody’s success. ⚠️ Unless you can get motivation from it, don’t compare yourself to others. You know why? Cause there’s always going to be somebody smarter, somebody prettier, somebody better than you. That’s just how it is and you CAN’T keep comparing yourself to others or you’ll get stuck in „never enough” zone and you’ll keep wanting more, keep pushing yourself further instead of realising how amazing and good you already are!!! 😘
Instead of competing with everybody around you just be BEST VERSION OF YOURSELF. If you hear somebody smarter, learn from him, listen to his/her story. Maybe you’ll decide to e.g. read more or to learn another language if that’s what impresses you in that person. If you see somebody looking good in a swimsuit don’t get envy but work on your body to be confident with yourself. If you see somebody richer don’t be jealous, think how YOU can get there, what YOU can do to achieve that 👏
BUT at the same time, remember that in some other category you are better than that person. You may get impressed by somebody’s body but I am sure that you have some talent that he/she doesn’t. You may see somebody rich but I’m sure he/she is missing something that you have (e.g. a relationship, a family, health). You may think a smart man knows so many things that you don’t but i am SURE that you know something that he/she doesn’t. 😊
We all have our values and in some way we are both worse AND better than everybody else.⚠️
⚠️ Purchase memories, not things. ⚠️
Happiness is usually abstract things – health, family, love. Focus on that. 🤗
Don’t pay attention to material goods, those are just things 👑💄💎. New phone or new pair of expensive shoes might make you happy for a moment but it won’t give you happiness and memories in long term. Instead of that try to go on an adventure, „buy” memories – book yourself a short trip on the weekend (it doesn’t have to be far) 🏕, go to a concert 🎙, go to a festival 🎭, jump out of the plane ✈…you may think that those are experiences couple minutes/days long, nothing permament, but the memories are for life! ⭐ They may not last long physically but you can talk about it with your family or friends for ages!
Remember – in the end people usually regret not having done something, no not having bought something. We regret experiences and chances we didn’t take, not missing a sale in a boutique.
This is a photo taken on our journey to Dominican Republic last year. It cost us quite a lot of money and we could’ve bought a sofa to our guest room that we are still missing (we moved into a new apartment last year) but I wouldn’t have had it the other way. We saw beautiful places, learned some new things and gained plenty amazing memories!
This month try to do something you haven’t done before. It doesn’t have to be anything expensive, it doesn’t even have to be anything you pay for – if you live by the sea or lake try winter swimming 🏊♀️ (go into the water only for couple minutes though), go to a dog shelter and take dogs for a walk and spend whole day with them 🐶 (or maybe even take one home? 😊), volunteer at some city event 🎪 or just try eating something you haven’t eaten before 🍲🍤 (ok, this one you’ll have to buy but it’s a small thing to do). Literally anything! Just try to get out of the rut and get yourself some new memories! 😊😊😊