Self-evolving · Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 16

I’ve got good news for you – willpower can be trained! 💪 It is often treated like something you either have or don’t but psychology researches show that you can train your strong will just like your muscles. And nobody was born with a 6-pack, right? 😉
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It is great news because those who aren’t scrupulous naturally can train it 💪. You’ve actually already started it with implementation intention (step 10) and by process visualisation (step 11) 😉
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Since willpower works like a muscle it has limited source of energy and strength. There are things that empower it 👍 but there are also things that weaken it 👎.
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Your goal is to get to know and, if possible, remove your obstacles to having strong will 😎. Those most basic ones are stress, tiredness and lack of sleep. It seems so simple, right? 🤷🏼‍♀️ Yet you do not always see the connection between those factors and your willpower.
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Task for today: Observe and write down (or analyze past experiences if you’re calm and rested today) how stress and tiredness have impact on your willpower:
* What situations are those?
* What happens then?
* How do you react?
* Is it harder for you to stick to your goal?
* Do you have any ways to help yourself and not to be tempted (turn your „I don’t want to” power on) or to do something that you don’t feel like doing (turn your „I want to” power)? Next week: Stress vs willpower (next week Smiley Future will be on Wednesday!)

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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 15

🧠SMILEY FUTURE🧠
— Step 15
Today we’re gonna talk about 3 mind traps which might weaken your willpower and your willingness to act:
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1.Thinking „everything or nothing”
Have you ever thought „I do everything from my ‘to do’ list or drop everything”?
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If yes, then you got into „everything or nothing” trap which can have huge impact on your actions and effects (or lack of them) 🤷🏼‍♀️
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Thinking like that you don’t see your failures as small errors that you can learn from, you see it as total failure and you might start withdrawing generalized conclusions about yourself like „I’ll never succeed”, „I’m a failure” etc. STOP! 🚫
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* If you get trapped into those thoughts write all of them down ✒ Then write a counterargument to each one of them. Get back to it when you have another „everything or nothing” moment.

2. Excessive pessimism or optimism
„If I haven’t succeeded in 1 year I’ll never succeed” – that’s excessive pessimism when you have only negative thoughts about your future 👎
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Excessive optimism is when you ignore your past attempts and previous experience and keep thinking that „this time will be different, it will be perfect” 🙄 For example, you wanted to workout regularly, you’ve had couple attempts at it and failed eaxh time but now you think that you’ll have the willpower and you’ll workout 6 times a week for 3 months 💪🙄
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* If you know what I’m talking about write all of  such examples down ✒. Now try to make each one of them more realistic e.g. „I’ll try to workout more regularly. I probably won’t be able to workout 6 times a week right away so I’ll workout 2 times this week, 3 times next week and keep improving”. :::
3. Exaggeration
You exaggerate all difficulties and make everything sound impossible. „I won’t make it”, „I never do anything right”. * If you do that write all of those thoughts down and write a counterargument to each one
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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow” 📸 pic taken in Italy in 2019

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 14

Today we start realising our goal! In upcoming steps willpower will be one of most important subjects. ⚠️
Here’s what’s most important.
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Willpower divides into 3 parts:
· Power to do something even though you’d prefer to avoid it (power „I want to!”) 💪
· Power helping push temptations away (power „I don’t want to”) 🚫
· Power that remembers  what you desire in long-term (power „I desire!”) 🤩 :::
Willpower is what differs us from animals. By forseeing future you are able to not give in to impulses or instincts ⚠️. Thinking about will power you often want to delete lower impulses or some feelins but they are important too! 😉
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For example disgust protects you from bad food, fear from danger and desires help you setting goals 😉. If you want to improve your willpower it is not about fighting impulses but about using them to help you 🤗
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How to manage your willpower? 🤔 For that you need to get to know yourself better. Only when you understand your way of thinking in a situation that requires your willpower then you can strengthen it 💪.
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You make many decisions on autopilot (and it’s good because there are s omany of them during a day that your brain would not be able to get to them all!😅) so your task for today is to notice that autopilot and improving you self-awarness.
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Observe and write down ✒
·What situations need your willpower? 🤔
· What thoughts, feelings, impulses appear in those situations? 🧐
· What decisions they lead you to? Supporting your goal or the opposite? 🤔
·  Which moments/elements are crucial to making a decision? Noticing them will help you stop that bad autopilot and prepare for those situations earlier. 🧐
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If you want to learn more about it I advice you to read Kelly McGonigal’s book „The Willpower Instinct: How Self-Control Works, Why It Matters, and What You Can Do To Get More of It” 📖
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Next week: Mind traps
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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 13

This is our last step of preparations and after that you’ll be ready to start reaching your goal! 😊
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Now we need to focus on your surroundings and people around you. You are already well prepared so now it’s time to let your close ones know that there will be changes/that you’ll e.g. have less free time etc.
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While focusing on your resolutions and goals you could forget that it would be good to also get your close ones ready. Why?
* You have a chance to present them your plan and to explain why your goal is important to  you and ask them for support 🤝
* Once you’ll tell them about your resolution you’ll feel bigger pressure and it will be harder for you to let go once some obstacles come or you’ll have a bad day 😉
* While talking to your close ones you’ll see their reactions and you’ll know if  you can count on them and have their support or the opposite 😉
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Unfortunately it happens that family or friends react on someone’s will to change with resistance or even anger. There are plenty stories of girls who decided to drop couch potato life and and start working out, eating healthy and they heard „You better stop because you’ll be anorectic”, „Are you crazy?” etc. 🙄
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Usually it comes from people who know that they should change something about their lives too and because they don’t want to do it, it is easier for them to denny it, sabotage positive changes in person next to them etc. 🙄 If you get those kind of reactions look for support in somebody else like me and other members of Smiley Society! 🤗
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But I do hope that you’ll get positive comments only.
Next week: What is willpower and how does it work
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Next week:
Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

📸 pic taken in Greece in 2015

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 12

🧠SMILEY FUTURE🧠
— Step 12
Preparations to start reaching our goal are coming to an end – we start in 2 steps! If you have started earlier I hope that those prepation steps inspire you to possible changes and make your chance for success bigger 💪
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After last long and big step today there’s much simpler and quicker one 😉. Answer only one question: What do you need to reach your goal? 🤔
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Take a moment to write all of those stuff down – from most simple ones to those more complicated, for example: new leggins, prescribed diet, better time management, support from others.
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Maybe during creating your plan or during process visualisation you’ve already realised what you’re missing?
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Use this step to try and get those things, to organize or find a solution you need.
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If you don’t come up with any solution remember I can help! You’re not alone, use Smiley Society support 😘
Next week: Prepare your surroundings
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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

📸 pic taken in 2016

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 11

You often hear that imagining success helps you get motivated. Research shows though that it is not imagining success that helps but visualisation of process so imagining the path that takes you to your goal 🏁
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The visualisation makes you practice in your mind the difficult path that awaits you and helps you get ready for its all steps.
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Depending on what works on you best, punishments or rewards, you can choose proces visualisation with a negative outcome (what happens when you don’t reach the goal) or with positive outcome (what happens when you do).
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* Simulation of process with positive outcome 👍
Imagine going shopping and you choose only healthy products. Imagine passing sweets section and not taking any 🚫. Imagine being at a party full of food and unhealthy snacks where everybody eats but you don’t. Imagine you working out and doing excercises that you like, e.g. swimming, riding a bike etc. You’ve reached your goal 💪 Imagine yourself thin with a beautiful body. Imagine walking into a party looking fabulous and having all people stare at you 🤩
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*Simulation of process with negavite outcome 👎and proces letting you avoid it
Imagine yourself fatter. Your favourite pants don’t fit because you put on weight 😳. Family and friends tell you that your overweight problem becomes more and more serious. You walk into a party and people look at you and gossip. You feel bad about yourself, you’re unhappy and you’re self-esteem drops 😞 Now imagine how you can avoid those situations. You buy only healthy stuff. You don’t overeat at a party. See with your imagination you working out 💪
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Those are examples from the research. Now think of your visualisations.
1. Decide whether you are more sensitive to punishments or to rewards 👍👎
2. Imagine the proces taking you to your goal (process of losing weight, looking for a better job etc.) – make sure to imagine specific situations 🧐
3. Write your visualisation down
Keep reading it and imagining the proccess several times a week 📝
Next week: What do  you need to reach your goal

Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

📸 Greece, 2015

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 10

🧠SMILEY FUTURE🧠
— Step 10
Implementation intention meaning how to implement your plan into life.
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Last week you created a plan of action based on your stenghts 💪 Today we’re gonna add your weakneses and obstacles that you may come upon to it. To make it all work you’re gonna need implementation intention but don’t worry, it’s a simple mechanism that is very effective!
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How does it work? Imagine  possible future scenarios that can be obstacles to reaching your goal and then find a solution for it. Later create (and write down!) a sentence: „If situation X happens, I’m gonna do Y” 😊
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Example: „If i’ll be eating out I’m gonna choose healthy and fit dish, for example a salad” 🥦. „If I won’t want to workout I’ll ask my close ones for support and cheering” 💪. „When I’ll be doing shopping I’ll go to a store with a prepared ‘to buy’ list” 🗒
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Creating  scenarios like this in your head is effective because it creates a connection between a situation/obstacle and your reaction to it. ⚠️ If a situation like this happens you won’t have to wonder what to do! You’ll work automatically because you’ve already excercised that scenario in your head 😉
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Making decisions (especially pushing temptations away 😅) requires a lot of energy from you and when you’re in a hurry or hungry you choose what’s easiest but not what’s best 🤔. You know what I’m talking about? Implementation intention is for those kind of situations!
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So let’s get to work! Try to think of as many situations in which you let go and lose your motivation. Find best reactions to them and write them down in „If situation X happens, I’m gonna do Y” scheme 😊
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Next week: Process visualisation

Source: @chodakowskaeka‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

📸 pic taken in Malta in 2016

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 9

🧠SMILEY FUTURE🧠 — Step 9
Creating plan based on your strenghts
In those difficult times we all need a bit of a break for your mind 🤯 Just sit down, relax and start creating your plan of action!
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You’ve been preparing it for the last 8 steps so I hope this will be easy and pleasant for you 😉
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I encourage you to write down how do you want to realize your goal (set in SMART method) with help of your strenghts from step 7 💪
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* What are you good at?
Example: I’m reliable. I always keep my promises.
Submission to the action plan: „I’ll make a pact with another person to workout togetherm then it’ll be easier for me to realise my training plan as I will want to be reliable to the other person”
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* What are you effective at? What kind of situations you feel biggest impact on?
Example: I’m very organised
Submission to the action plan: „I’ll organize a plan for a day/week this way so I’d have time for activities related to the goal – training, cooking, spending time with family, writing CV etc.”
That’s my way 🙋🏼‍♀️
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* If you’ve managed to establish who you can count on in your surroundings when it comes to realising your goal, somebody who has the knowledge and experience, turn to that person for an advice. Use the hints you get from him/her to make or change your plan. Be flexible and open to any hints you get. You know yourself best! How can you use somebody’s knowledge and experience?
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*Your life situation e.g. if your financial situation lets you buy training programs or a career consultation. Your family situation is important here too e.g. if you have small children maybe apart from husband your family or friends can help you find time to realise your goal? How will you use your life situation in your plan?
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I hope those examples showed you the essence of  today’s task – plan of action based on your strenghts. If you’ll get some comments while preparing this plan like what is difficult for you, what hardly ever works write them down, we’ll get back to them.
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Next week: How to use your weaknesses!

Source: @chodakowskaeka‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow” 📸 pic taken in China in 2012 (yes, that’s me 😅)

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 8

🧠SMILEY FUTURE🧠 — Step 8
Last week we talked about your strenghts 👍. Today let’s talk about your wekanesses 👎. I know it may not be pleasant but it’s an important thing to do. In couple steps you’re gonna use your weaknesses to prepare a „plan b” for situation that may complicate achieving your goal.
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You can divide weaknesses into internal restrictions (your character) and external restictions (e.g. lack of knowledge, lack of time, not being understood by others, difficult situations).
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Try to answer couple questions:
· What kind of knowledge you don’t have but need for your goal?
· What part of your character can become an obstacle in reaching your goal? How can it complicate your plans?
· What types of situations are the hardest for you when it comes to following your dream? If it happened in the past what was the most challenging in it for you?
· What would your close ones mention as your weakness?
· What is difficult for you? What will be biggest challenge for you while following your dream?

Next week: Creating plan based on your strenghts

Source: @chodakowskaeka‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 7

You already summed up your last year, made a circle of life that showed you which part of life you should focus on and you set a SMART goal – specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and in time bound. Now it’s time to work on yourself and how to use both your strenghts AND weaknesses in achieving your goal 💪
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First of all say out loud what are your strenghts.
* What are you good at? 😁
* What comes easy for you? 🤔
* What are you effective at? 🙈 In what situations do you feel you have biggest impact on something, you feel your power? 💪
* Remind yourself of a difficult situation (at work, at home, some conflict or crisis) in which you did well. What skills, knowledge, experience helped you in it? 🤔
* What do your friends and family appreciate in you? 👍
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Now time for your external strenghts.
* On whose emotional support you can count? Who out of your family, close ones can and will give it to you? Who can you call in a moment of crisis, doubt? ☎️
* On whose support can you count? Who can give you good advice, some hints, answers when you need it? Who gives you honest feedback on how you’re doing? Apart from close ones this can be done in some Facebook groups, people trying to achieve same goal or fighting with similar difficulties. 💬
* What in your life situation will help you achieve this goal? Take your finances, moral support under consideration (e.g. friends/people who can help you create a nice CV, creat a well-balanced diet, create workout plan etc.) 🤔

Source: @chodakowskaeka‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”