Motivational Mondays

MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY 💪 – step 11
What ability do you need to learn/practice in order to empower your strong will and be able to stand up, take that first step and go work on your dreams/projects when you don’t feel like it? 🤔
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Please read and let me know if it sounds familiar 🧐. Your friend brings cake to work and you can’t resist. You feel lilke dropping everything and taking an evening off to watch TV instead of work (and you keep doing that everyday)…
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Your brain 🧠 demands a reward here and now! You forget about your goal and all the reasons why you wanted to achieve it. You succumb to temptation…🤭😜
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Or maybe…? With your last remains of strongwill you leave that cake from friend somewhere out of sight, you turn TV off and and work on your dreams thinking thay each hour spent working gets you closer to your goal 💪.
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The ability to postpone pleasures or rewards is called ➡️ ‘deferring gratification’ ⬅️ in psychology. It is crucial to realize long-distance goals because it helps you not to succumb to temptation each time 😉.
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Why is it so hard to defer gratification? Because seeing temptation or reward instantly launches more primitive and oldest part of our brain demanding gratification right away 😬. Luckily we also have prefrontal cortex (part of our brain 🧠) that can cool that instant rush because it is responsible for controlling our impulses .
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Task for today 📝: think how deferring gratification looks in your case? In what situations is it easier or more difficult to you? What helps you defer gratification?

MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY 💪 – step 10
3 mind traps that can weaken your willpower 😳
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➡️ 1.Thinking „everything or nothing” 😬
Have you ever thought „I need to do everything from my ‘to do’ list or drop everything”? 🤔
If yes, then you got into „everything or nothing” trap which can have huge impact on your actions and effects (or lack of them 🙄). Thinking like that you don’t see your failures as small errors that you can learn from, you see it as total failure and you might start withdrawing generalized conclusions about yourself like „I’ll never succeed”, „I’m a failure” etc. STOP! ⛔
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➡️ 2. Excessive pessimism or optimism „If I haven’t succeeded in 1 year I’ll never succeed” – that’s excessive pessimism when you have only negative thoughts about your future 1👎. Excessive optimism is when you ignore your past attempts and previous experience and keep thinking that „this time will be different, it will be perfect” 👍. For example, you wanted to workout regularly, you’ve had couple attempts at it and failed each time but now you think that you’ll have the willpower and you’ll workout 6 times a week for 3 months 😬. If you know what I’m talking about write all of such examples down. Now try to make each one of them more realistic e.g. „I’ll try to workout more regularly. I probably won’t be able to workout 6 times a week right away so I’ll workout 2 times this week, 3 times next week and keep improving”.
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➡️ 3. Exaggeration – You exaggerate all difficulties and make everything sound impossible 🙄. „I won’t make it”, „I never do anything right”.
If you do that write all of those thoughts down and write a counterargument to each one 👍

MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY 💪 – step 9
I’ve got good news for you – willpower can be trained! 😃
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It is often treated like something you either have or not but psychology researches show that you can train your strong will just like your muscles 😃. And nobody was born with a 6-pack, right? 😄
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It is great news because those who aren’t scrupulous naturally can train it. You’ve actually already started it by building your plan using your strenghts and weaknesses (steps 5-6) and by creating visualisation (step 7) 😉
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Since willpower works like a muscle it has limited source of energy and strength. There are things that empower it 👍but there are also things that weaken it 👎. Your goal is to get to know and, if possible, remove your obstacles to having strong will.
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Those most basic ones are stress, tiredness and lack of sleep 😴. It seems so simple, right? Yet you do not always see the connection between those factors and your willpower.
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Task for today: Observe and write down 📝(or analyze past experiences if you’re calm and rested today) how stress and tiredness have impact on your willpower: What situations are those? 🤔 What happens then? How do you react? 🧐

MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY 💪 – step 8
How willpower actually works?🤔
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Willpower divides into 3 parts:
🔸️Power „I want to” – power to do something even though you’d prefer to avoid it
🔸️Power „I don’t want to” – power helping push temptations away
🔸️Power „I desire!” – power that remembers what you desire in long-term
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Willpower is what differs us from animals😉. By forseeing future you are able to not give in to impulses or instincts. We often want to delete lower impulses or some feelings but they are important too! 😉 For example disgust protects you from bad food 🥩, fear from danger ⚠️ and desires help you set goals 😊.
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If you want to improve your willpower it is not about fighting impulses but about using them to help you 🙃.
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Do you know that sometimes you make decisions on autopilot? 🤔 And that’s good because there are so many of them during a day that your brain would not be able to get to them all! 🤯
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Your task for today is to notice that autopilot and improve your self-awarness 😉. Observe and write down the situations when you need your willpower. What thoughts, feelings, impulses appear in those situations? 🤔 Which moments/elements are crucial to making a decision? Noticing them will help you stop that bad autopilot and prepare for those situations earlier. 🤗
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If you want to learn more about it I advice you to read Kelly McGonigal’s book „The Willpower Instinct: How Self-Control Works, Why It Matters, and What You Can Do To Get More of It”

 

MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY 💪 – step 7
You often hear that imagining success helps you get motivated 💪. Research shows though that it is not imagining success that helps but visualisation of process so imagining the path that takes you to your goal 😉. This way you practice in your mind the difficult path that awaits you and it helps you get ready for its all steps.
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What works best on you? A positive ending and what happens when you reach the goal 👍 or negative outcome and what happens if you don’t reach it 👎?
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➡️ If positive visualisation is for you (like me 🙃) imagine yourself working hard, reaching next steps towards your goal 📈. Imagine yourself with a strong will and e.g. staying home to work on your business, or whatever your goal is, instead of going to a party 😉. Imagine yourself making smart decisions like getting up 30min earlier in order to workout before work or to meditate 🧘‍♀️ to begin a new day with a calm mind. Imagine how you feel having picked those wise decisions 🤔
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Now imagine yourself at the end of the line, you’ve reached your goal! 🏅 Imagine your friends & family congratulating you on a fullfiled dream, imagine yourself giving some interview to a newspaper on how you managed to get where you are! 😎
So powerful! I usually am so pumped up after such visualisations!
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➡️ If you feel more motivated seeing negative outcome and what happens when you don’t succeed imagine yourself e.g. fatter, not earning as much as you’d want and not being able to e.g. give your kids everything you’d want to.
Imagine that your family and friends tell you that your laziness problem becomes more and more serious. You walk into a party and people look at you and gossip. Now imagine how you can avoid those situations. You work hard. You put your goals first. See with your imagination getting an award.
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➡️ Now think of your visualisations.
Decide whether you are more sensitive to punishments 👎 or to rewards 👍.
Imagine the proces taking you to your goal– make sure to imagine specific situations.
Write your visualisation down 🖊
Keep reading it when you need it

MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY 💪 – step 6
Today let’s talk about how to plan your ‘to do’ list using your weaknesses and how to be ready to fight any excuse! 👊
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You’ve already extablished what are your weaknesses, now knowing what could be your excuse against getting to work in the future, plan your response in advance! 😃
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Imagine some future scenarios that could be an obstacle on your way to reaching your goal and find solution for it. Write them down like this: “If situation X happens, I’m gonna do Y”. 📃
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➡️ For example, if you want to lose some weight and you plan to work out 4-5 times a week but then when that moment comes you don’t feel like it and end up staying on the sofa, prepare that strong anti-excuse sentence for you! 👊
🔸️ “If I’m gonna feel lazy and not willing to workout, I’m gonna watch supermodels on a runway to get motivated to look that way.” 😜
➡️ Or when you need to work on your start up business but don’t feel like it:
🔸️”If I’m gonna start watching tv instead of working on my business plan, I’m gonna stop and read some inspirational stories of famous entreprenours and how they started to be more motivated.”
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It is important to prepare those anti-excuse sentences earlier when you feel very excited and motivated about some new plans! 🤩 E.g. I am always very motivated and ready to get busy on Sunday evening when I plan upcoming week, I tend to plan plenty things to do the next couple of days and then often don’t feel that excited & motivated to actually do them when that time comes 🙄 – that’s why it is so important to prepare those powerful sentences earlier (I’m preparing them on Sunday when planning everything) and write them down 📃. Then in a moment of weakness read that sentence! Something like a message to your future self! 😉
Try it out!

MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY 💪 – step 5
Building your plan/ ‘to do’ list using your strenghts and weaknesses 😉
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First lets focus on your strenghts. In previous step you named all your advantages, what you are good at, what comes easy for you. Now use it in building your plan! 🤗
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🔸️Your strenght: I’m very organized 🤓
➡️ Example in practice: I’ll plan each week and each day precisely, what do I have to do to reach my goal. It’s easier for me to get to work with a propper ‘to do’ list.
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🔸️ Your strenght: I’m flexible / creative 😜
➡️ Example in practice: Whenever new situation/obstacle appears don’t freak out. You’re creative, you got this! 💪Just sit down and think of a new way/new plan how to solve it/go around your obstacle 🤔.
E.g. I often work longer hours at work and end up with shorter time to work on my personal projects or suddenly get some family issue BUT I don’t cancel my ‘to do’ list completely 🚫. I work around it, leave those things that I can still manage to do that day and move some other stuff to the following day. Sometimes I change my ‘to do’ list even 5 times a day 🤪 but I never cross a thing to do off my list completely.
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🔸️ Your strenght: I am able to work late hours but I’m not an early bird 😴
➡️ Example in practice: You know yourself best! If it’s hard for you to get up early (e.g. on Saturdays) don’t plan anything for early hours thinking (“ah, I’ll definitely manage to get up this time!”). If you’re a night owl plan your stuff to do for evenings! 😉 You know what your most productive time of the day is, use it!
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Next week we’ll talk about how to plan your ‘to do’ list using your weaknesses and how to be ready to fight any excuse!

MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY 💪 – step 4
We’ve already talked about common reasons of lack of motivation, we’ve learned how to set a goal and a deadline, now we need to get to know ourselves better in order to work better later on! 😉
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In order to make yourself work/boost your motivation and will to get something done we need to establish what are your strenghts and weaknesses!
Tell me:
* what are you good at? 🤔
* what comes easy for you? 😉
* what do you feel powerful/strong at? 💪
* what do others appreciate in you? 🧐
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Now think deep and name your weaknesses. It is important to know what we need to battle with and how to set your ‘Plan B’ for situations when you don’t feel the desire to follow your dreams.
So tell me:
* what do you struggle with? 🤔
* what kind of situations scare / overcome you? 😬
* what part of your character can become an obstacle in reaching your goal? 😶
* what weaknesses would your close ones name in you? 🤔
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Write all of it down!
I promise you we will work on some excercises to boost your motivation soon but those steps before it are crucial in order to know what we actually need to work on!

MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY 💪 – Step 3
What is your goal? What do you need motivation for? 🤔
We’ll get to tips/steps how to work on our willpower and how to boost our motivation soon but 1st we need to learn to set precise goals we want to reach and how to estimate deadline for it 😊
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Do you know a SMART method of setting a goal?
A goal needs to be:
S – Specific – Provide enough detail so that you know exactly what you should be doing. For example, don’t set a goal like „I need to lose 10kg in 3 months”. Make it more „I need to start eating more vegetables and workout 4 times a week” 🥦💪. This is more doable and you have more control over it
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M – Measurable – A measurable goal has an outcome that can be assessed as a hit or miss ✔❌. So e.g. you can easily check whether you worked out 4 times this week.
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A – Achievable – An achievable goal has an outcome that is realistic given your current situation. Make sure you actually have the time 🕰 to e.g. workout 4 times a week. Don’t set such goal if you know you won’t make it.
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R – Realistic – Start small. If you set your goal too high („I need to lose 10kg in a month”) there’s too big pressure and you will give up quickly if you won’t see results you’d want 🤔
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T – Time Bound – Set a timeframe for the goal: „in three months”, „by six months”. Setting an end point for the goal gives you a clear target to achieve 🏁
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Now how to set good time bound/deadline for it? 🤔
I recently learned that there actually is a mathematical formula for estimating a time that you need for some project and you can calculate it using the PERT Formula 🧐
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The PERT estimate (E) is based on a formula that includes your optimistic time estimate (O), your most likely time estimate (M) and your pessimistic time estimate (P). The basic equation is this:
E = (O + 4M +P) / 6
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So now go on set a goal and estimate the time you need to reach it!
I want to workout 4 times a week and start writing my 2nd book (+couple more). And my deadline is Oct 27th because we’re starting holidays then and going to…Mexico! 😊
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So tell me, what are your goals? 😊

MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY 💪 – Step 2
If you lack motivation the 1st step to take is to wonder what’s the reason behind it 🤔
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If you’re a perfectionist your lack of motivation or procrastination may come from the fear that you won’t complete the task flawlessly 🙄. You need to understand that something done is better than something perfect and that you shouldn’t postpone some task over and over 😉!
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Here’s other common reasons for lack of motivation:
1. Avoidance of discomfort: when you need to do some task you know it’s unpleasant (e.g. working out) it is hard to get to it because the idea of staying in comfort is more appealing 🤷‍♀️. In those kind of situations you need to focus on long-term results (e.g. your body after regular working out)
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2. Self-doubt: when you think you can’t do something you’ll likely to struggle to get started. In those kind of situations just focus on doing the task itself, don’t think about the outcome of it 😉
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3. Being over-extended: when you have a lot going on in life, you’ll likely feel overwhelmed. I tend to be in those kind of situations and the key to getting out of this feeling is to cut down the amount of task/project you have running. Pick max 3 things you want to focus on now and work on those. Cross out the rest or postpone it a bit 😉
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4. Lack of commitment to a goal: when you need to do something simply out of a need of obligation but when you don’t really want to do it 🙄. Try to think of some personal benefits for you after accomplishing that task. This will make you feel more commited to the goal.
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5. Mental health issues: a lack of motivation is a common symptom of depression. It’s important to consider whether your mental health may be affecting your motivation level. If so, please see a specialist.
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These are just a few common reasons why you may lack motivation but naming what is the reason of it is a big step to work on improving your motivation and willpower so go on and think which scenario do you classify in. In next steps we’ll learn how to improve our willpower 💪

MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY 💪 – Step 1
What is motivation? 🤔
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Motivation is the process that initiates and guides goal-oriented behaviors. It is what causes you to act 😉.
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Motivation devides into 2 types:
➡️ Extrinsic motivations – motivators that come from outside, could be some contests, awards etc but also social status or praise
➡️ Intrinsic motivations – motivators that come from within the individual, pure desire to self-evolve, to learn new things to be better just for you/for your health
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Understanding how motivation actually works will help you improve the efficiency of your work, help you take action, help you feel in control and will improve your overall  well-being and happiness 💪.
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There are three major components of motivation: activation, persistence and intensity.
🔸️ Activation is about action, e.g. a decision to initiate some behavior, such as taking up new hobby, taking some class to learn a new skill
🔸️Persistence is about keeping the initial desire to achieve/get something, it is moving constantly forward towards your goal even through obstacles.
🔸️ Intensity is basically how hard you want to reach a goal, it is about your focus on it and vigor that goes into pursuing a dream.� For example, lets say that two people want to learn a new language. One will take couple classes until he/she knows the basics while another one is really focused on those classes but also does some extracurricular things like watching movies in this language to practice understanding it in hearing, reads some books in the foreign language, takes some quizes online etc. First person lacks the intensity ☺.
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In the next couple of weeks we’ll learn more about how motivation works, how to boost each type and component of it and how to be more motivated and eager to work on your goal 😎.
Stay tuned and come back next Monday! 😁