Be positive!

What I’ve learned this year

Look deep into my eyes. What do you see? Confidence! 😎

I’ve learned a lot this year and I feel that I’ve grown as a person.
This year I finally accepted myself as I am 👍 I stopped feeling sorry for being the way I am and I’ve been encouraging people to understand that we are all different and you can’t meassure or judge everything with same standards/meassurements 🤷🏼‍♀️

For example, I am an analytical kind of person 🧐. I analyze lots of things, I plan lots of things, I need to have an order in everything and have everything organized 🤪. I feel calm when I have everything written down and everything planned 😇.

But e.g. my husband is not like that 🤷🏼‍♀️. So whenever he wanted to do something spontaneous together or plan some evening for me I felt nervous (Don’t get me wrong, I do get spontaneous from time to time but not when I have a busy week – e.g. preparing everything for an Advent Calendar 😜)
It took some time but he now understands that this is how I want things 🤗

But it works both ways! I used to be mad at him for not planning ahead or for not being orgnized. But that’s just how he is 🤷🏼‍♀️. He doesn’t need unnatural order in everything as I do. I used to be mad that he doesn’t remember me telling him something but his memory just isn’t as good as mine or, actually, it is as good but he just remembers different things 🤷🏼‍♀️ – I have good memory for facts, plans, for details and he remembers every movie and a last name of pretty much every person he’s ever met! 😅 We’re just different!

We are all different and we all want different things. Don’t judge somebody for not wanting something you want or for having something you find unappealing 🤷🏼‍♀️

Don’t feel sorry for a woman that has been single her whole life, maybe she wants to be alone? 😉 Talk, listen. Stop looking weird at a married couple that doesn’t have kids – maybe they don’t want traditional Graduate-Get Married-Have Kids lifestyle. Talk, listen. 😉

Stop looking at people through your own opinions and your own character. Maybe something that drives you crazy is good for another person? 🤷🏼‍♀️

Bez kategorii · Self-evolving

Communication

Do you know what’s key to good relationship?
Communication 😉
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And it’s not only about love relationships, it’s important to make any kind of relationship work – a friendship, a relation you have with your daughter, mom, neighbour, coworker. Anybody.
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We are ALL different. And nobody sits in your head, nobody reads your mind, believe me 😉. So when you don’t like something, when you need help with something you need to COMMUNICATE.
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Plenty woman (I used to be one of them) think that if they send „signals” to their partner he’ll know what she needs/means 😅 That if she says something between the lines about a movie she’d like to watch or talk about her friend’s new cosmetics he’ll instantly get the idea to take you to cinema to see that movie and he’ll buy those cosmetics for you 😅 No, this doesn’t work with men.
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Men and women work totally differently and so do our minds! You need to be loud and clear 😉
COMMUNICATE.
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It works like that with everybody. If you’re angry with your boss because he/she gives you so much work tell him/her politely (!) that you’re swamped and ask if he/she can maybe get one of your co-workers to help you, to divide some big task between 2-3 people, not just 1 🤷🏼‍♀️
TALK.
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If you’re frustrated with your friend because he keeps inviting you to places you don’t like or wants to do something you’re not fan of – tell him. He simply might not know that you don’t like it! I’m sure he doesn’t do it to make you angry, he’s just anaware of your negative feelings. Why? Because you’ve never told him that you e.g. don’t like bowling or eating at that Thai restaurant. 😉
LET HIM KNOW.
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We all need to talk more. Say what we think out loud. Don’t keep your thought or feelings to yourself. But remember, if it’s something negative think how to communicate it to your friend to not hurt his feelings 🙏. We should always be sincere and if you don’t like something you should say it but do it gently.

📸 pic taken in Zakhyntos in 2017

Be positive!

How to be happy in a relationship

Happy Valentines!

On this day I want to talk to you about LOVE.

We have all seen many romantic movies, we’ve read beautiful books about perfect relationships, we know all the fairytales but people tend to think it works like that in real life too.

People tend to expect too much of a man/woman when looking for a partner and then expect too much from the relationship. Don’t get me wrong. True love does exist and there are plenty beautiful and happy stories but it’s not a fairytale but 2 people making it beautiful.

I used to be one of those people believing in fairytales. I waited for my prince, wanted him to be tall, British, and a brunet.  But then in 2016 i fell in love with a Polish man with blond hair and who’s shorter than me. And you know what? He is my prince. And he’s my husband now (here’s a photo from our honeymoon 4 months ago).

Later on our relationship taught me what is most important in making love work. Communication. With good communication you can have a relationship just like in movies. Talk to each other. Tell your significant other what you feel, what makes you mad, what you like and what don’t you like. Women are weird 😀 if your man drives you crazy by doing something just tell him that! How can you expect him to change if he doesn’t know there is a problem? Also, what is super important, men really are from Mars and women from Venus, haha – stop thinking your man will get the idea to do something, he won’t. Even if there’s a full basket of dirty clothes he won’t notice it. Don’t wait for him to do laundry and be mad if he doesn’t. Men are not like that, they don’t notice things that need to be done. Just tell him nicely „can you do the laundry?”. Communication.

Another thing – even though you are a couple you are still 2 different people. You can like different things. You can have different habits. You can get angry with the way he segregates clothes or dishes cause you do it other way but he can just as much get irritated they way you do it. Communication. Tell him what you like, listen to what he likes. Work compromises.

Last thing – as I said, we are 2 individuals, 2 seperate bodies, 2 seperate minds. We do things differently. So when your man doesn’t show you the affection, doesn’t hug you or kiss you that many times as you’d like or doesn’t tell you „I love you” every day don’t get angry with him straight away. Maybe he shows the affection other way? Maybe he takes care of you when you’re not feeling well and brings you tea? Maybe he covers you with a blanket when you fall asleep on the sofa? Maybe he does something for you when he sees that you’re tired? This is love too. All those actions. Not just saying „I love you” – this is the easy way. But if you need to hear it more often anyway just tell him that. Communication!

 

So what I am trying to say – beautiful love doesn’t come to you itself, you have to make it beautiful. And if you’re single – prince charming won’t come to you himself, you have to make a decent man you meet a prince.