Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 44

Have you managed to notice your sabotaging thoughts? 🧐 If yes – great! I hope you’ve written them down because today we’re gonna look for a way to fight them! 👊🏻
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Task for today: for each sabotaging thought create a supporting thouht or helpful recreation 🤗. Now you’ll be able to not only notice a sabotaging thought but to stop and choose how you wanna react❗. Will you accept what the sabotaging thought is telling you or will you, thanks to previously prepared supporting thought or helpful recreation, choose another solution? 🤩
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Working on sabotaging thoughts makes you aware of your choices and you no longer will work or react automatically. 🤗
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Take a pen, piece of paper and write down your sabotaging thoughts and some helpful answer to them! 📝
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Next week: Defeat your sabotaging thoughts
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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 17

Today’s step is a bit long but it is SO important in everyday life ⚠️
How big impact does stress have on willpower? In order to answer that question I’ll tell you about „fight 👊 or flight ✈ response”. It is a physiological reaction when seeing danger that’s been protectin people for centuries from deadly threats.
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How does it work? 🤷🏼‍♀️ Let’s say you’ve noticed a venomous snake on your path. A part of your brain called amygdala reacts instantly and it prepares your body to fight or run away. The secretion of stress hormones increases, liver releases fats and sugars giving organism energy, lungs start to work faster to oxygenate body, the blood circulation accelerates (that’s why heart start to beat so fast!) to deliver needed substances to all cells. Basically whole organism is mobilizing for you to have best shot to survive 💪. In order not to delay your reactions the activity of the prefrontal cortex, so the part of your brain that is responsible for controlling impuleses, decreases ⬇️
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What does it mean? Stress physically decreases your ability to self-control ⚠️
Brain still works in the same way as if you were standing in front of a venomous snake and it starts fight or flight reaction. E.g. when you see an annoying e-mail from your boss 😉. That’s why it is so important to learn to deal with stress!
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Task for today divides into 3 parts:
1. Try relaxation. Lie down or sit down in a comfortable position 🧘🏼‍♀️, close your eyes, take deep breath and let your body loose muscle by muscle 🙏.
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2. Answer those questions:
· What do you think about stress and its affect on your life?
· How do you rate your stress level?
· Do  you think of the stress that you experience as bad stress 👎or good stress 👍?
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3. Watch short Ted talk with Kelly McGonigal „How to make stress your friend” – so good! 😍
Next week: Improve your willpower by breathing :::
Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

Be positive! · Self-evolving

Control freak confession

I already said that but I’ll keep repeating it from time to time so that you remember it – you can’t control everything! 🤷🏼‍♀️
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You can plan what you want 📅, you can make the most precise schedules 🗒, you can be excelent at time management 🕰 and you’ll still never predict everything, there always will be surprises and you need to be ready for them. ⚠️
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I am a control freak 😅 and I write all my projects, ideas and plans down in my calendar. I tried to plan everything, sometimes even couple months or a year ahead! 🙈 I had a plan for my 20s and my precise goals that I needed to achieve e.g. by the age of 25. The more plans didn’t work out, the more devastated and angry I was 😵. I even stopped realising how much other stuff I managed to achieve, I only saw those unrealized plans. This led me to having panic attacks.🤯 I started going to a therapist. It was not good.😬
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Remember, planning is good and I am all for it BUT you need to be ready that it can go wrong sometimes, that you might have some surprises and that some plans not only may delay but they may actually never happen. And that’s ok. 👍
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2018 was a year of big changes for me, not careerwise but with my relationship and with my stability. I got married 💒, we got and moved to our new nest 🏡, we went on a honeymoon 🏝. There was lots of work (with the wedding and apartment) but it was the best year of my life 🤗.
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2019 was supposed to be MY year, for my projects. I published a book in February 📖, I started this blog 📝 (I actually started it in November last year but it was quiet here for first 2 months) and I was supposed to start writing my 2nd novel ✏. Meanwhile we had many family issues, health issues and in the end I did maybe 30% of what I had planned with those projects. And that’s ok. 😉
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When such a situation appears you need to be ready to be flexible and to choose what’s more important. ⚠️ I still did a lot this year (+there are still 3 more months left!) and there will still be next year 😊

Be positive! · Self-evolving

Controlling

You can’t control everything in your life & you can’t predict everything. And you shouldn’t!

We want to have everything organised, planned, to be prepared for everything but life is full of surprises! The more you’ll want to be prepared for everything the less you will be ready for surprises.🤷🏼‍♀️

It is good to plan things ahead but you need to also be prepared for surprises. You can write down what can go wrong, this way you’ll be a bit prepared and you won’t be that surprised. But what is really important is to look for an alternative solutions once something unexpected comes up. .
Another thing is to get loose a bit from time to time. 🤪 Don’t plan every moment of your life. Let yourself be a bit spontaneous! We tend to be 1 day ahead in our heads. We keep thinking what we have to do tomorrow instead of just being here & now. ☺

It’s good to plan your future but be present in the present moment too. Just as the word ‘present’ tells you to. 🤗
It’s good to be spontaneous and live in the moment but you need to organize your plans and future too.
You need to find that balance in all this. ⚖

I plan my time between Monday and Friday afternoon (with evenings included as I do lots of work after my full-time job) but I never plan some serious „to do” stuff for weekends or days off. This is the time to relax and to be spontaneous. Is it sunny? Lets go on a long walk!
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BUT!
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If some things come up during my planned time I don’t close up on other options. If I have e.g Tuesday evening planned because I need to work on my book, blog, music agency or anything else but I get a call from a friend that he’s in town I change my plans. You need to be FLEXIBLE. Just ask yourself „Will something happen if I don’t do it today?”. After all I see my friend once a year. I can do my work tomorrow.
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BUT!
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Don’t overuse it. Don’t keep postponing your plans. „I’ll do it tomorrow, today I don’t feel like it”. You may never have the energy to do some work. Just push yourself 😊

You need to be flexible. To be both organised but ready for surprises and spontaneity at the same time.