Be positive! · Self-evolving

Let’s support each other

Have you ever told somebody about your goals/dreams/a project you had started working on and heard laughter or some unpleasant response 😞? „You’re not gonna make it!”, „This is just stupid”, „Why would you wanna do that?”.
:::
Have you ever had a new dream or started working on some new goal and decided to keep it to yourself because you were scared of others’ reaction 🤷🏼‍♀️?
:::
Have you just stopped telling your close ones about your dreams or your accomplishments because you don’t feel like you have their support and nothing ever impresses them 💔?
:::
I know I have. I have 1 big project that I’m working on that my family doesn’t know about and 1 secret project that I haven’t told ANYONE about 🤐
:::
And you know what? This is not how it’s supposed to work 👎.
We should all SUPPORT each other, we should all BELIEVE in others and we should ALWAYS be happy for others’ successes and let them know that they did a good job/congratulate them 👏.
:::
We REALLY need to learn to be happy for others and to support them. Even if a friend of yours tells you about most obscure, to you 😉, dream, something that he/she wants sooo bad and works hard for it, even if it is totally uninteresting to you and you wouldn’t want a thing like that – support your friend, if it makes her/him happy be happy to her/him 🙏.
:::
And if you’re not supporting somebody because deep deep down inside you are jealous (come on, admit it 😉) of somebody’s accomplishmets be patient and learn to be happy for others. Your time will come too 🤩. It’s not a race where only 1 gets a reward. If somebody succeeded before you it doesn’t mean that you cannot succeed too! 🎖
:::
Let’s all help each other, support each other and lets openly talk about our dreams 💬
:::
So  tell me, what are you dreams? What have you been recently working on?
Whatever it is I BELIEVE IN YOU!! 🤗

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 27

What’s the difference between punishment and self-discipline? 🤔 Perhaps you’ve already asked yourself that on our last step about punishing yourself. How to distinguish it? 🧐
:::
You don’t want to be too strict but on the other hand you need self-discipline so as not to spend the rest of your life living lazily and letting everything go and not reaching any goals 😉.
:::
Do you know that the word „discipline” means in latin knowledge, giving orders, teaching? 👨🏻‍🎓 As you see it has nothing to do with punishment, right? 😊
:::
Authors of many books about discipline emphasize that it comes from constant attempts. You fail, you get up wiser and move on 💪. Self-discipline is an effect of your effort and not giving up on next attempts.
:::
While main task of the punishment is to scare, it only teaches us what to avoid, brings tension, and often, fear and anger 🤢.
:::
I hope that you see now the difference and as to be good to yourself you’ll start liking self-discipline and avoid punishing 🤗
:::
How to distinguish them in practice? Common ground of those two often is the will to avoid some activity. Sometimes we need to force ourselves to do something that is beneficial to us (e.g. working out).
:::
How can we know if our forcing is a part of self-discipline or punishment? 🤔
If you’re not sure think of a situation when you really don’t feel like doing something and answer couple questions:
*Sitation:
*What do you feel then? 🤔
*Is my body tense or loose? Do I clutch my jaw, feel tension in my arms? 😓
:::
If you feel a lot of tension, anger or fear and negative thoughts about yourself pop into your head it is probably closer to punishment than to self-discipline. You’ll recognize self-discipline when you’ll  be easily able to say why activity that you’re trying to force yourself to is good and beneficial to you 🤗

Nexy week: Learn to rest
:::
Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

Motivation

What is success to you?

What is success to you? 🤔 What does being successful really mean? 🤔 Is it having lots of money? 💰 Being smart? 🧠 Looking good? 😎
:::
I’m gonna break something to you and you might feel bad but you need to be aware of that 😉: there’s always gonna be someone more beautiful 😎,  someone smarter 🧠 and, unless you’re Jeff Bezos, someone richer 💰. But that doesn’t mean you can’t be successful!
:::
Being successful isn’t being THE BEST. It’s being better than average. Being successul is being better than you were a month ago 💪. That’s a success!
:::
The best and the only scale you should be comparing your current self isn’t to other people because this might have the opposite effect, it’s comparing your current self to your past self! 😉
:::
As long as there’s progress there and a positive difference you’re successful! 😊
:::
This is healthy competition and both easiest and hardest to have! But if you’re progressing, if you’re going forward this is success!
:::
Do you agree?

About me · Be positive!

Quarantine sum up

So tell me – how you’ve been lately? 🤗
I gotta say that those last 3 months has been really productive to me and I am satisfied with what I’ve managed to do. Apart from doing 200-300% norm at work I managed to work a lot on my personal projects/dreams too 😊.
:::
Obviously I’ve spent looooads of time doing stuff for @smileysociety and for you here 😉 – I’ve been posting regularly, working on special stories for you, created Positive Morning Posts 🙂 with good news and Chill Evening Sessions 🌠 to make you feel better during those times, I’ve made #SmileyTravelling Challenge for you on my ig so we wouldn’t miss travelling that much and plenty more.
:::
Even though working on my blog  here took me 60-70% of my free time I used the rest of it to get into shape 💪and to read 📖! I’ve never been working out so regularly as I have now – been working out 3-4 times a week lately and I loved it 💙! I also challanged myself to read 1 book a month and so I’ve read 3 books since April – it is a lot for me as I usually don’t read that much anymore 😅.
:::
Apart from it all I started serious work on my 2nd novel, planning & plotting, creating characters and ideas for the plot and I am planning to start writing it in October ✒
:::
Even though it’s been horrible at times, I’ve been scared, I missed my family, I missed my friends, I pushed myself to the limits as if the world was ending 😅! I just didn’t want this time to go to waste and I am so glad I did!
:::
And even though I am tired and I am dreaming of holidays at last 😅 I am satisfied with my work in 1st half of 2020 and I still believe this will be my year 😉
:::
So what I’ve been trying to say is that no matter how bad the situation is (and I don’t mean only Covid-19 and quarantine times but anything else too) always try to do your best 💪. We all react to bad situations  differently obviously and if  somebody was really scared during last months, felt anxious and didn’t do anything productive that’s fine too! But when you look back now to those insecure times forget about all the bad stuff and focus on what you have done and what you’ve managed to accomplish 🤗
:::
Now it’s all gonna be better! 😊

Be positive!

Reaction

Do you know Tony Robbins’ famous story about two brothers? 👬 There was two brothers who had an abussive alcoholic father. Their childhood was very dark, they lived in poverty 😞. Years later, when they grew up, one brother was very successful 💰, had a well-known company, wife and kids 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦, was contributing to society, volunteering etc and another one was an alcoholic too 😪🍾. Somebody asked both of them „How is it possible? 🤷🏼‍♀️ How is it possible you didn’t turn out the same? Why do you think you became a volunteer? Why did you think you became an alcoholic?”. Both answered same thing „Who else could I become with a father like this?”
:::
We can’t control what happens to us but we can control how we react to it ⚠️. You can either feel sorry about yourself, be miserable and live miserable life or you can turn your disappointment/sadness into energy and use it to make your life better 💪
:::
There are so many people with same stories yet different endings. There are so many people who’s had abussive childhood but wanted to leave it behind them and achieve something big 🤩! There are so many examples of it among famous people like Lady Gaga, Jennifer Lawrence, Dwayne Johnson, Joaquin Phoenix, Oprah, Tony Robbins himself…just look at my Inspirational Stories 😉! All of them had difficult childhood and look at them now! 😎🎬🏆
:::
Bad things happen to people everyday. It’s sad but it’s true 🤷🏼‍♀️. But it’s our choice what we’re gonna do with it! First of all appreciate what you have 🙏, secondly learn from your mistakes/failures/sad experience and then use it to build a better future 📈!
:::
I know it’s harder than it sounds but it is all in your hands 🤲. You have all the tools to make your life happy, it’s  your move to use them. Nobody is going to do it for you 😉. It’s all in your hands and in your mind.

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 15

🧠SMILEY FUTURE🧠
— Step 15
Today we’re gonna talk about 3 mind traps which might weaken your willpower and your willingness to act:
:::
1.Thinking „everything or nothing”
Have you ever thought „I do everything from my ‘to do’ list or drop everything”?
:::
If yes, then you got into „everything or nothing” trap which can have huge impact on your actions and effects (or lack of them) 🤷🏼‍♀️
:::
Thinking like that you don’t see your failures as small errors that you can learn from, you see it as total failure and you might start withdrawing generalized conclusions about yourself like „I’ll never succeed”, „I’m a failure” etc. STOP! 🚫
:::
* If you get trapped into those thoughts write all of them down ✒ Then write a counterargument to each one of them. Get back to it when you have another „everything or nothing” moment.

2. Excessive pessimism or optimism
„If I haven’t succeeded in 1 year I’ll never succeed” – that’s excessive pessimism when you have only negative thoughts about your future 👎
:::
Excessive optimism is when you ignore your past attempts and previous experience and keep thinking that „this time will be different, it will be perfect” 🙄 For example, you wanted to workout regularly, you’ve had couple attempts at it and failed eaxh time but now you think that you’ll have the willpower and you’ll workout 6 times a week for 3 months 💪🙄
:::
* If you know what I’m talking about write all of  such examples down ✒. Now try to make each one of them more realistic e.g. „I’ll try to workout more regularly. I probably won’t be able to workout 6 times a week right away so I’ll workout 2 times this week, 3 times next week and keep improving”. :::
3. Exaggeration
You exaggerate all difficulties and make everything sound impossible. „I won’t make it”, „I never do anything right”. * If you do that write all of those thoughts down and write a counterargument to each one
:::
Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow” 📸 pic taken in Italy in 2019

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 13

This is our last step of preparations and after that you’ll be ready to start reaching your goal! 😊
:::
Now we need to focus on your surroundings and people around you. You are already well prepared so now it’s time to let your close ones know that there will be changes/that you’ll e.g. have less free time etc.
:::
While focusing on your resolutions and goals you could forget that it would be good to also get your close ones ready. Why?
* You have a chance to present them your plan and to explain why your goal is important to  you and ask them for support 🤝
* Once you’ll tell them about your resolution you’ll feel bigger pressure and it will be harder for you to let go once some obstacles come or you’ll have a bad day 😉
* While talking to your close ones you’ll see their reactions and you’ll know if  you can count on them and have their support or the opposite 😉
:::
Unfortunately it happens that family or friends react on someone’s will to change with resistance or even anger. There are plenty stories of girls who decided to drop couch potato life and and start working out, eating healthy and they heard „You better stop because you’ll be anorectic”, „Are you crazy?” etc. 🙄
:::
Usually it comes from people who know that they should change something about their lives too and because they don’t want to do it, it is easier for them to denny it, sabotage positive changes in person next to them etc. 🙄 If you get those kind of reactions look for support in somebody else like me and other members of Smiley Society! 🤗
:::
But I do hope that you’ll get positive comments only.
Next week: What is willpower and how does it work
:::
Next week:
Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

📸 pic taken in Greece in 2015

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 12

🧠SMILEY FUTURE🧠
— Step 12
Preparations to start reaching our goal are coming to an end – we start in 2 steps! If you have started earlier I hope that those prepation steps inspire you to possible changes and make your chance for success bigger 💪
:::
After last long and big step today there’s much simpler and quicker one 😉. Answer only one question: What do you need to reach your goal? 🤔
:::
Take a moment to write all of those stuff down – from most simple ones to those more complicated, for example: new leggins, prescribed diet, better time management, support from others.
:::
Maybe during creating your plan or during process visualisation you’ve already realised what you’re missing?
:::
Use this step to try and get those things, to organize or find a solution you need.
:::
If you don’t come up with any solution remember I can help! You’re not alone, use Smiley Society support 😘
Next week: Prepare your surroundings
:::
Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

📸 pic taken in 2016

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 7

You already summed up your last year, made a circle of life that showed you which part of life you should focus on and you set a SMART goal – specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and in time bound. Now it’s time to work on yourself and how to use both your strenghts AND weaknesses in achieving your goal 💪
:::
First of all say out loud what are your strenghts.
* What are you good at? 😁
* What comes easy for you? 🤔
* What are you effective at? 🙈 In what situations do you feel you have biggest impact on something, you feel your power? 💪
* Remind yourself of a difficult situation (at work, at home, some conflict or crisis) in which you did well. What skills, knowledge, experience helped you in it? 🤔
* What do your friends and family appreciate in you? 👍
:::
Now time for your external strenghts.
* On whose emotional support you can count? Who out of your family, close ones can and will give it to you? Who can you call in a moment of crisis, doubt? ☎️
* On whose support can you count? Who can give you good advice, some hints, answers when you need it? Who gives you honest feedback on how you’re doing? Apart from close ones this can be done in some Facebook groups, people trying to achieve same goal or fighting with similar difficulties. 💬
* What in your life situation will help you achieve this goal? Take your finances, moral support under consideration (e.g. friends/people who can help you create a nice CV, creat a well-balanced diet, create workout plan etc.) 🤔

Source: @chodakowskaeka‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

Self-evolving

Time

Remember – time is not our friend. It won’t wait for you to be ready and you’ll never know when you’re gonna run out of it ⚠️
:::
Don’t put your dreams on hold, don’t put taking care of your health on hold and most important – don’t put building your relationships on hold 🚫
:::
Sadly we never know when last day of our lives will come. Same with your family and/or friends. Enjoy and cherish them while you can 🙏, believe me, you’ll miss them when they’re gone and it will be too late then.
:::
Give your mom a kiss 😘
Tell your significant other you love him/her 💑
Call your grandma ☎️
Take your friend out for a coffee/drink 🍻
:::
Don’t wait. Stop saying you don’t have time 🤷🏼‍♀️ It’s about those who make time!
:::
Do it all while you still can.
Maybe it is worth setting one day of a week as a day for relations? E.g. Sunday? Just keep it always open and without any other plans but to spend it with your close ones 🤗
:::
It’s not only about the relations though. Don’t pospone taking care of yourself too. Stop saying „I’ll do it one day” . Just do it now! 💪
:::
You can plan your future and time/life will surprise you anyway 🤷🏼‍♀️. You can’t predict everything. You may think that it’s not a good moment now, that you’re not in a good situation but what if next month or next year will be worse (knocking on the wood that it won’t be for any of us! 😘)? And you’ll think then that you could’ve started earlier.
:::
We always regret things we didn’t do, opportunities we didn’t take, people we let go. Try to prevent it. ⚠️ Seize the day, seize the time you got, seize your life 🙏
:::
We got corona virus epidemic around the world. Are you scared? Do you panic? I think we should just live and enjoy the time we got 🙏
Stop waiting, start doing 💪