SELF LOVE: Dealing with emotions

We’re all focused now on helping others, on taking care of refugees, our dear friends Ukrainians.
But remember to take care of YOU too! ❤ Like in a plane – put your mask first before helping others.
So today focus on you 💛.
What to do when you feel…:
🔸️ ANGRY – ask yourself why you feel this way, what’s the reason of your anger, go for a walk, focus on breathing, listen to some calm music
🔸️ SAD – write down what you feel, all your anxieties, let it all out, cry if you feel like crying, then treat yourself – make yourself (or order in) some nice meal, buy yourself something nice
🔸️ ASHAMED – develop self-compassion, practice self-love talk, talk to your friend
🔸️ ANXIOUS – turn off your phone, stretch your body, go for a walk, listen to some chill music, try yoga and/or practicing mindfullness
🔸️ DRAINED – rest, take a hot shower/bath, do some home spa, have some tea, go to bed early
How do you feel today?

Motivational Mondays

MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY – STEP 16: Motivation vs emotions

Have you noticed that when you’re angry 🤬, sad or feeling any other strong emotion you tend to react totally differently than how you’ve planned? 🤷‍♀️
I, for example, tend to be very motivated when I’m rested, when I’m planning upcoming days e.g. on Sunday evening. I am full of positive and motivated thought and I plan so many things for the week but then when the next day comes and when I have to do the things I’ve planned I don’t feel like it, I can’t get to work etc 😪.
How to get passed it? 🤔 First of all, keep your mind open when you’re planning. When, like me, you’re planning your week on Sunday evening keep in mind that you won’t be that fresh and rested on Monday evening like you are on Sunday 😅 (that is if you’re planning some extra project that you’re doing after your full-time job like me).
Second of all, remember to rest ⚠️. If you keep working and pushing and pushing without resting you’re gonna lose your motivation at some point 🤷‍♀️.
So go on now and have some proper rest during Christmas time, then we’re gonna come back next week on last Monday of the year to sum up everything and prepare for actual motivational excercises in January to walk into 2022 big, strong and motivated 💪. That’s the last step of our theorotical steps and in January we’ll be using motivational excercises in practice 😎

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 68

Today we’re gonna continue summing everything up ✔. I highly encourage you to reflect on what subjects were most important to you, what did you discover about yourself? 🧐 To make it easier here’s a list of the subjects we went through:
🔸️Training strong will
🔸️Mind traps
🔸️Be good to yourself
🔸️Deffering gratification
🔸️Sabotaging thoughts
🔸️Emotions vs will power
🔸️Practicing gratitude
Which out of those subjects touched you the most, made you reflect most, opened your eyes? 🤔
Will those be helpful in the future? How can you use them?
Write down your thoughts 📝
Next week: Summing up: Your tools
Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s book “90 days – design your tomorrrow”

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 49

— Step 49
To notice your emotions, to be good to yourself and to understand yourself better you’ll need mindfullness 🤗
What is it? 🤔 In short, it is an intentional focusing on here & now without judging it. Practicing mindfullness we focus on what we experience in a specific moment, here & now ⬇️ We dont think about the past or the future 🚫, we focus on what’s happening now. Couple next steps will be about mindfullness ☺
During mindfullness training try to remember about  couple tips:
💫 Don’t judge your thoughts and emotions that you’re feeling
💫 Be patient and persistent – let your thoughts and emotions go in and out in their time
💫 Keep your head open, imagine you’re a beginner at every training
💫 Avoid expectations – just try practicing mindfullness without any script or thoughts on how will it go
Task for today: Are you attentive every day? 🧐 Do you focus on here & now, feel the presence? If yes, in what moments you find it easy to be focused on here & now and when is it harder? 🤔
Have you ever practiced mindfullness? 😊
Next week: Practicing mindfullness: breathing
Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

P.S. See my post on Instagram with a tutorial how to make that Seed Starter Valentine gift

P.S.2. I am doing 28 day Self-Love challenge at my Instagram – come join us!

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 48

Second part of our emotions vs willpower section ☝️
Do you react totally differently than how you’ve planned when you’re angry, mad or feeling any other strong emotion? 🤷🏼‍♀️ It happens to all of us, that’s why last week we’ve talked about overcoming sadness and today we’ll look closer on how anger 🤬 has an impact on your willpower.
I encorage you to reflect 🤔 and answer those questions:
➡️ What do you do when you’re angry? 😡 What are your ways to get the anger out, to calm down? 🧘🏼‍♀️ Does anger have an impact on your motivation, willpower? If yes, how?
➡️ When you’re mad do any sabotaging thoughts appear? What are they? Create helpful reaction to them 😊
➡️ What can you do to feel anger without sabotaging your goals and complicating realizing your goal? 🧐 Do you suppress anger and use harmful to you ways (and to your goal) to release the tension? If yes, try finding a solution for that. Create (and write down) a strategy for constructive feeling and overcoming anger and calming yourself down in difficult moments 🤗
Whenever I feel angry I try to workout 💪 (if possible at the moment) to get the anger out. This way I am even more pumped and get a good workout session 💦 but I also do not end up doing something unfavorable to me like e.g. reaching for unhealthy comfort food or alcohol 😉
Have you ever tried working out when feeling mad? What are your ways to overcome anger? 😊
Next week: What is mindfullness
Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 47

Next couple of steps will be about a very important subject – a connection between emotions and your will power and perseverance 💪
Have you noticed that when you’re angry, mad or feeling any other strong emotion you tend to react totally differently than how you’ve planned? 🤔 We all know it and it is worth taking a closer look on how emotions influence your willpower. Today we’ll start with sadness 😞
Try answering those questions:
➡️ What do you do when you’re sad? What are your needs to get through the sadness and soothe it? Do you tend to make yourself feel better by eating 🍕🍰🍫? Do you sometimes resign from some important to you actions to reach your goal because of sadness? 😰
➡️ When you’re sad do some sabotaging thoughts appear? Create helpful reactions for them 😉
➡️ What can you do to get through sadness without resigning from your goals and giving up? If you tend to ‘eat the emotions away’ (we all know the term ‘comfort food’ right? 😅) try finding a solution for it. For example change unhealthy snacks 🍿🍫🌭 for healthy ones 🍎🥜🥗 or try finding another ways to soothe the sadness other than eating 👍. Maybe a conversation with someone close to you 💬, watching a comedy 🎬 or a relaxing bath 🛀? You know yourself best! 🤗
If this excercise is difficult to you and you’ll feel tense 😬, take couple deep breaths when you’re done with the questions, relax your body and have a rest 😘

Next week: Anger vs willpower
Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 44

Have you managed to notice your sabotaging thoughts? 🧐 If yes – great! I hope you’ve written them down because today we’re gonna look for a way to fight them! 👊🏻
Task for today: for each sabotaging thought create a supporting thouht or helpful recreation 🤗. Now you’ll be able to not only notice a sabotaging thought but to stop and choose how you wanna react❗. Will you accept what the sabotaging thought is telling you or will you, thanks to previously prepared supporting thought or helpful recreation, choose another solution? 🤩
Working on sabotaging thoughts makes you aware of your choices and you no longer will work or react automatically. 🤗
Take a pen, piece of paper and write down your sabotaging thoughts and some helpful answer to them! 📝
Next week: Defeat your sabotaging thoughts
Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

Be positive!

The Power of Thoughts

Do you know that your thoughts have huge impact on your mood, your feelings and your behaviour? It may seem obvious but you need to learn the power of thoughts. With that knowledge you can change your perception on events, on some people, on whole world actually.
To make you understand it more, I’m gonna give you an example and paint a little picture for you. Let’s say 3 people lose their jobs. It is same situation, same environment but what can differ them? Their reactions, their thoughts. One of them will think „Oh no, what will i do now? I’m such a loser!” and be very depressed. Second one will be furious and will be yelling „They can’t fire me! This is discrimination!”. What will the 3rd one think? He’ll be the positive one and will try to look at it differently. „I don’t like it but now I can look for something new, I have biggest motivation for it now”. You can see both anger and hope in the same situation. Always try to think in a positive way in every situation.
Thoughts have impact on what we feel in a present situation. Emotions bring new thoughts that empower and confirm their legitimacy. In anger, for example, we tend to remember injuries and traumas, in depression we focus on negative aspects of our life and when we’re scared we think of all threats. It doesn’t mean that in moments of intense feelings we are always wrong, we tend to distort, ignore and disregard those information that undermine legitimacy of current feelings or beliefs though. The stronger emotions we feel, the more we go into extremes.
Think about that.
When was the last time you overreacted and made a huge deal out of something small?
This happens quite often to me actually but we need to remember to stay calm and not make decisions while being angry, sad or in any strong emotion.
Read more about the power of thoughts and exatly what I wrote here in „Mind Over Mood. Change How You Feel by Changing the Way You Think” by Dennis Greenberger and Christine A. Padesky.

Psychology facts

Differ thoughts from emotions

Learn to recognize emotions. This way you’ll know how to fix them. Can you distinguish anger from fear? People are not always able to tell what they feel. Some of us constantly feel tired not seeing that it’s depression. Some of us are always irritated thinking that they’re losing control of their life when in fact it’s fear. Apart from depression and fear it can be difficult to distinguish anger, shame or feeling guilty. Have you ever heard of a situation when somebody was feeling sad, tired and did not know what to do when in fact he or she was feeling guilty? It is often shown in movies or books that somebody is feeling guilty after somebody’s death and people tend to mistake it with sadness.

Once you recognize and name emotions it is easier to work on them. You can learn that with „Mind Over Mood. Change How You Feel by Changing the Way You Think” by Christine A. Padesky and Dennis Greenberger. I highly recommend that book! You can read there that if you have a problem naming your emotions you need to go deep into your body and think what’s hapenning. If you feel tense, your arms’ muscles and/or your neck is tight it can be fear or irritation; general heaviness can mean bad mood or disappointment.

Our body’s reactions often tell us what we feel. People often mistake their fear with anger as symptons and body reactions (screaming, sweating etc.) are similar. If you learn to recognize your emotions it will be easier for you to control it. When you divide what’s making you angry and what makes you scared, you can focus better on a specific problem and work on it (i’ll tell you how to work with fear or anger in some time). Focus what thoughts come to your mind when you’re feeling angry or scared. Usually when people are scared they tend to think that they’re losing control, that they don’t know what’s gonna happen next. With anger it’s usually „it’s not fair, i deserve more than that!” etc.

You need to learn not only to differ one emotion from another but also to differ emotions from thoughts. Lets say somebody asks you how do you feel and you say „i wanna go home”. It’s a thought, not an emotion. What is the emotion? Perhaps you’re sad? Why?

People think „They don’t need me” when in fact it can be out of fear, not sadness.

Have you ever had to give a presentation at school or work but you didn’t want to do it? Was it because you were ashamed? No. People usually don’t want to give out speeches because they’re scared. They tend to think what other people will think, they tend to imagine that audience will laugh etc. It’s fear, not shame, and once you know it you can work on it. Instead of imagining people laughing, try to visualize that they’re all smiling and applausing. Isn’t it easier to go on stage now?

Don’t confuse emotions with thoughts .With thoughts you can change your emotions!

Usually emotion can be named with 1 or 2 words (sad, angry, ashamed) whereas thoughts are couple words or an image (like audience laughing).

It is very important to learn to differ thoughts, emotions, behaviours and reactions. This was we can consider wchich areas of experience we can change to make us feel better. To be happy! 🙂


Can you name two different situations, one when you were scared and one when you were angry? What were your thoughts then?