Let’s continue our talk about procrastination so constant postponing for later 🤷🏼♀️
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Last week I’ve mentioned that fear of failure might be one of the reasons of procrastination. Today couple words on another possible reason of constant postponing things for later.
You might be surprised but it is…fear of success! 😳
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Yes, sometimes subconsiously you’re afraid of success 😞. Why? You can be scared of the reaction of people around you (e.g. because of jealousy 🙄) or you can be afraid of even bigger pressure that you will not fulfill 🤯 (I’m sure you’ve heard of writers who after a big success of their first book had an enormous difficulty to write another)
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How to remedy it? The awarness and naming the fear of success itself might be very helpful 👍.
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Try answering those questions:
➡️ What are you afraid of in possible success?
➡️ Imagine that you’ve reached your goal. What will happen then?
➡️ Can you, apart from obvious benefits, suffer losses too? If yes, what would that be?
➡️ Is your fear justified?
➡️ Who could you talk to about your fears?
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If you can, ask somebody close to you for support, talk to somebody 💬 who is more objective and can look at your fears and doubts from another perspective 😉
I’m all ears if you want to talk! 😊
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Next week: Use some motivation techniques that you know
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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”
Tag: failure
Smiley Future – Step 33
This and next week you’ll look at postponing things for later closer. Why does it happen to you? How can you prevent that? 🤔
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One of the reasons of procrastinating is FEAR OF FAILURE 😳. It often comes with excessive perfectionism but it might have other sources too.
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This fear can paralyze you to this extend that when you are facing some task you keep postponing it for later and later 🙄 Do you know the feeling? I sure do. And in the end there’s so little time that you explain failure by lack of time 🙄
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How to prevent it? 🤔
1. If it’s perfectionism that stands in the way and is a reason of fear and procrastination keep repeating this: „Something that is done is better than something perfect”! 🤗 If you have another favourite way of reminding yourself that it is better to do something not perfect rather than not do it at all – use it! 😊
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2. Divide the task into smaller steps. This might reduce the fear of ton of work that is awaiting you. Reward yourself for each step that you’ve accomplished 🎖
Now write down the steps of your task or goal.
Does it help?
Next week: Fear of success
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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”
Smiley Future – Step 24
Today I want you to think about your attitude towards making mistakes 🤔. Don’t deny it, we all make them 😉.
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The question is – what do you do next with them 🤷🏼♀️? Do you think of yourself too negatively, too strictly, blame yourself 😞? Or maybe you can look at your mistakes as inseparable element of being human, learning, risking and trying new things 🤗?
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Do you know how to treat your mistakes as valuable lesson, how to withdraw conclussion and move on? 😉
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You’re probably wondering what does an attitude towards making mistakes has to do with strongwill 🧠? If you’re too strict to yourself because of mistakes or failures you’ll easily get into „everything or nothing” thinking (I told you about it in step 15). And this leads to giving up and letting the rest of the plan go 😞
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Task for today is to think about that and answer questions below:
* How do you treat your mistakes?
* What do you think of them?
* What do you feel then?
Write your answers down 📝
Next week: Be good to yourself
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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”
Self-criticism
Are you often criticizing yourself? 🤔 Always unhappy with your accomplishments? Furious about failures? 🙄
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First of all you need to lower your expectations ⚠️. We all tend to challenge ourselves more than others, which is good in a way but you need to know the limit.
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When you fail to do something or do something wrong and you start pulling your hair and are furious think if you’d react same way if your friend had done it 😉
Would you shout at him/her, feel being let down etc? Or you’d pat them on a shoulder, smile and say „That’s ok, you’ll do it tomorrow” or „That’s fine, you’ll do it right next time”? 😊
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You should say same thing to yourself. If it wouldn’t be a big deal for another person it shouldn’t be a big deal if you’d done it. Treat yourself right. ⚠️
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Second of all, we tend to focus only/mainly on failures and stop seeing what we’ve accomplished 🤷🏼♀️. We get angry with ourselves for not doing something and we forget about all the other things we’ve managed to do. For example, you get mad because you haven’t wokred out and you ate something unhealthy and suddenly forgot that you’ve managed to workout and eat healthy other 6 days of the week.
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It’s ok to have one bad day and you shouldn’t feel bad about it. Focus on other 6 good days 😉
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If you feel like you’re criticizing yourself too much and you’re never happy with your work try writing down every evening 2-3 things you’ve managed to do that day ✒📄.
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But remember! If you’ve tried to do something and failed that should still go on the list! 😉 It means you TRIED and that’s the most important thing. Most people don’t even get to that step 😉
📸 pic taken in Dominican Republic in 2018
Failures
Many of you say that nobody is real on Instagram. That people tend to publish only photos from their happy momments and talk only about highlights from their lives.
This might be true but I am different. 😅
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I already showed you a picture of me looking unattractive some time ago (remember that all those instagram models pose in their finest clothes and perfect make up), I already talked to you about my bad days (cause we all have them!) and now I’m gonna talk to you about my last failures.🤪
Because we all fail from time to time and it’s OK!
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Failures are good because we get a great lesson and learn from mistakes but also we appreciate success more after couple obstacles! 🤗
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One of my latest failures was that I was supposed to lose 5kg in July. It was my goal and I started July with a diet and working out routine. But then i got busy and stressed (in the contrary to most people – when I’m stressed i EAT!). And…instead of losing weight I gained 1kg 😅 It might be a small failure but it still is a failure to me.
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Another one – I told you about a new project that I’ve been working on lately. I told you that I’ll tell you by the end of July if it worked or not. Well…it didn’t. I wanted to go back to University and start studying psychology but I didn’t get a scholarship and I can’t afford it. So no new University degree for me. At least not this year…
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And now biggest of my latest failures. As some of you know I published a book in February 📕. I’ve been writing it 1.5 year, looking for a publishing house next 3 years…Whole process lasted over 7 years and you know what…? I sold only about 400 copies… Out of 5500 copies we printed… Hardly no one buys it…It’s been heart-breaking for me as I really wanted this to work and this book to be read by plenty people but this happens I guess. It’s sad but it’s ok. I need to move on. It was still a big adventure and a dream coming true for me. I had plenty interviews and signing meetings so it was fun!
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So next time you fail remember to keep smilling! 😉 We all fail from time to time. The key is to learn your lesson and not to give up! 😊
How to be HAPPY 