I believe in honesty and being open. We should be open and talk about our lifes, our feelings, our emotions 👍 but there are couple subjects that you should not start unless you’re really close to a person you’re talking to and you get a feeling from that person that it’s ok to talk about it ⚠️.
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There are questions that you shouldn’t ask and shouldn’t be asked, like:
➡️ Did you put on weight? 🙄
➡️ You’re gonna eat it all? 😳
➡️ When will you get a boyfriend? 😒
➡️ When will you get married? 😐
➡️ Why don’t you have kids? 🤔
➡️ You still didn’t get a promotion at work? 🤷🏼♀️
Etc etc
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Those are normal questions between friends, really close ones ❤ but you shouldn’t be asked those e.g. at a family dinner with uncles or aunts you barely see 👴👵, at an office party 🕺💃, at a high-school reunion 👩🎓👨🏻🎓or at any meeting with people you’re not that close with 🤷🏼♀️
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There are people who are fine with those questions and they will answer them and talk about those subjects easily 👍 but some people not only don’t like those questions but they might feel anxiety or even be ashamed to answer them and will be thinking about them and/or feeling bad even days later 😖
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The thing is, unless you know someone really well you might not notice a difference between those two groups and you might ask this question a shy and insecure person that will be hurt hearing it 😕
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How do you feel about it?
Do you agree?
Tag: family
Smiley Future – Step 39
Let’s continue the subject of lost motivation 🤔
I have a question for you today: do you use your support in your moments of weakness? 🧐
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It might seem trivial but many people find asking for help difficult 🤷🏼♀️. It requires us presenting our weaknesses, showing our delicate site… 😬And if you’re a resourceful, independent and well-organized person asking for help might be even harder 😶.
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That’s why today I want to remind you of this important aspect: you don’t have to be alone with your crisis, your weaknesess and troubles! 🤗
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How to reach for help?
First of all, accept it that you don’t have to manage everything well all the time 😉. Everybody has their worse moments and it’s not a reason to be ashamed, to punish yourself or self-criticize (I hope that during those worse day you remember to be good to yourself! ⚠️) Give yourself the right to be weak, treat yourself with understanding and tenderness 🙏
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Secondly, find in your surroundings a person who you trust, feel safe with. Tell this person what you are struggling with, that you need support, ask how he/she can help you (maybe he/she can share his/her experience, listen to you, let you spill everything out…) 😊
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Before you say: „There’s no such person in my surroundings” think well first ☝️. Maybe it’s not that obvious to your if you rarely ask for help and support? 🤷🏼♀️ But avoid those who are always critical and rigorous 👎. That attitude is the last you need right now!
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Talk to someone who will help you organize your feelings, your thoughts 🤯. Maybe you’ll find a source of your discouragement and find a solution during that talk? 😊
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Task for today – answer couple questions:
➡️ People I can count on:
➡️ If it is difficult for you to ask for help, for support think what can be a reason of that? 🤔 Maybe you have some beliefs or fears in your mind? 🤷🏼♀️ Write them down and try finding a counterargument to each thought 📝
Next week: Lost motivation vs tiredness
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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”
Chasing after perfect numbers
Are you chasing after perfect numbers? I know I am and it’s not good 😫👎
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I’ve realised that everything I do lately and everything I have I see in numbers 🔢. How many contracts have I installed at work (I work in an administration office), how many emails I’ve sent 📨, how many times I’ve worked out during a week 💪, how much weight I lost 🤗, how many centimeters I lost in hips, how many likes did I get on my latest post 😅, how many new followers I gained 🤩, how many books I’ve read…
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Dreaming of perfect weight 🤗 (a number), big Smiley Society community 👥 (number of followers), big comission at work 💰 (a number) and so on and so on… 🙄
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I’ve been chasing so hard after that that I got my panic attacks back and feel stressed all the time 😫
And what for?
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It’s not that working hard is bad and that we shouldn’t dream, of course we should but this has got to stop somewhere 🤷🏼♀️.
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We need to see above the numbers, see bigger goal in it. For example, let’s not focus on how much weight we’ve lost during a diet but let’s appreciate that we work on our health 🥦, that we try to eat better and take care of our body, that’s what matters 😉.
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Counting followers? Well, to be honest, I thought that at this time (almost 2 years of running Smiley Society) I thought there will be more of you here 😅 but thanks to this blog I got back to taking more pictures 📸, I bought mysefl a camera 📷, been learning how to edit photos and videos, I got back to writing (and in English!), I’ve been learning a lot on psychology in order to give that knowledge to you…there’s more to that than followers and even though I thought Smiley Society would be bigger by now, it made me work on myself, self-evolve and learn new things! ☺
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Counting money, commision? 💰 Sure, it’s important in life but you can’t put a number on most important things in life: love ❤, family 👨👩👧👧, friends, health 😇, adventures, memories 😍…THOSE are the things that matter and that we (myself included) should focus on ⚠️
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What do you think? Do you agree? Are you chasing some numbers?
Communication
Do you know what’s key to good relationship?
Communication 😉
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And it’s not only about love relationships, it’s important to make any kind of relationship work – a friendship, a relation you have with your daughter, mom, neighbour, coworker. Anybody.
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We are ALL different. And nobody sits in your head, nobody reads your mind, believe me 😉. So when you don’t like something, when you need help with something you need to COMMUNICATE.
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Plenty woman (I used to be one of them) think that if they send „signals” to their partner he’ll know what she needs/means 😅 That if she says something between the lines about a movie she’d like to watch or talk about her friend’s new cosmetics he’ll instantly get the idea to take you to cinema to see that movie and he’ll buy those cosmetics for you 😅 No, this doesn’t work with men.
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Men and women work totally differently and so do our minds! You need to be loud and clear 😉
COMMUNICATE.
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It works like that with everybody. If you’re angry with your boss because he/she gives you so much work tell him/her politely (!) that you’re swamped and ask if he/she can maybe get one of your co-workers to help you, to divide some big task between 2-3 people, not just 1 🤷🏼♀️
TALK.
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If you’re frustrated with your friend because he keeps inviting you to places you don’t like or wants to do something you’re not fan of – tell him. He simply might not know that you don’t like it! I’m sure he doesn’t do it to make you angry, he’s just anaware of your negative feelings. Why? Because you’ve never told him that you e.g. don’t like bowling or eating at that Thai restaurant. 😉
LET HIM KNOW.
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We all need to talk more. Say what we think out loud. Don’t keep your thought or feelings to yourself. But remember, if it’s something negative think how to communicate it to your friend to not hurt his feelings 🙏. We should always be sincere and if you don’t like something you should say it but do it gently.
📸 pic taken in Zakhyntos in 2017
Mother’s Day
When do you celebrate Mother’s Day? I know that most countries had it on May 12th but we, in Poland, celebrate it today!
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And because of that I wanted to say how amazing it is to have a mother. And to be loved by mother. Sadly not everybody in the world is that lucky to have a mom or to have good relations with her. But if you do, please go and hug her, tell her that you love her, thank her for everything that she taught you.
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Being a mom is so difficult that it scares me. It is not only work 24/7 but a HUGE responsibility to create and shape a child into a smart, nice, well-mannered but also a warm-hearted, sensitive and couragous human-being.
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It is so tough and I am so grateful that my mom, my parents, made me who I am today 🙏
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Happy Mother’s Day!
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Easter
Here we have Easter time. Do you have everything ready for Sunday?
It might be less popular than Xmas but it’s still a beautiful holiday!
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Do you have a family to spend it with? Do you have time off? Use it! Cherish that time with your family. Appreciate that you have people to spend it with. Think of those people who don’t or of those people who have to work and won’t see their close ones.
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This is happy time! Loving time!
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Call you friend and tell him/her you miss him/her. Call or visit your grandma/grandpa if you’re not spending holidays together. Go to cemetary to visit those who are no longer with you.
This is family time!
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Forget about work. Forget about your duties. Spend those couple days with people close to you, tell them something nice and just be here & now. 😊
How to be HAPPY 