How willpower actually works?🤔
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Willpower divides into 3 parts:
🔸️Power „I want to” – power to do something even though you’d prefer to avoid it
🔸️Power „I don’t want to” – power helping push temptations away
🔸️Power „I desire!” – power that remembers what you desire in long-term
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Willpower is what differs us from animals😉. By forseeing future you are able to not give in to impulses or instincts. We often want to delete lower impulses or some feelings but they are important too! 😉 For example disgust protects you from bad food 🥩, fear from danger ⚠️ and desires help you set goals 😊.
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If you want to improve your willpower it is not about fighting impulses but about using them to help you 🙃.
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Do you know that sometimes you make decisions on autopilot? 🤔 And that’s good because there are so many of them during a day that your brain would not be able to get to them all! 🤯
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Your task for today is to notice that autopilot and improve your self-awarness 😉. Observe and write down the situations when you need your willpower. What thoughts, feelings, impulses appear in those situations? 🤔 Which moments/elements are crucial to making a decision? Noticing them will help you stop that bad autopilot and prepare for those situations earlier. 🤗
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If you want to learn more about it I advice you to read Kelly McGonigal’s book „The Willpower Instinct: How Self-Control Works, Why It Matters, and What You Can Do To Get More of It”
Tag: goals
MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY – STEP 6: Building your plan/ ‚to do’ list using your weaknesses
Today let’s talk about how to plan your ‘to do’ list using your weaknesses and how to be ready to fight any excuse! 👊
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You’ve already extablished what are your weaknesses, now knowing what could be your excuse against getting to work in the future, plan your response in advance! 😃
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Imagine some future scenarios that could be an obstacle on your way to reaching your goal and find solution for it. Write them down like this: “If situation X happens, I’m gonna do Y”. 📃
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➡️ For example, if you want to lose some weight and you plan to work out 4-5 times a week but then when that moment comes you don’t feel like it and end up staying on the sofa, prepare that strong anti-excuse sentence for you! 👊
🔸️ “If I’m gonna feel lazy and not willing to workout, I’m gonna watch supermodels on a runway to get motivated to look that way.” 😜
➡️ Or when you need to work on your start up business but don’t feel like it:
🔸️”If I’m gonna start watching tv instead of working on my business plan, I’m gonna stop and read some inspirational stories of famous entreprenours and how they started to be more motivated.”
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It is important to prepare those anti-excuse sentences earlier when you feel very excited and motivated about some new plans! 🤩 E.g. I am always very motivated and ready to get busy on Sunday evening when I plan upcoming week, I tend to plan plenty things to do the next couple of days and then often don’t feel that excited & motivated to actually do them when that time comes 🙄 – that’s why it is so important to prepare those powerful sentences earlier (I’m preparing them on Sunday when planning everything) and write them down 📃. Then in a moment of weakness read that sentence! Something like a message to your future self! 😉
Try it out!
MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY – STEP 5: Building your plan/ ‘to do’ list using your strenghts
First lets focus on your strenghts. In previous step you named all your advantages, what you are good at, what comes easy for you. Now use it in building your plan! 🤗
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🔸️Your strenght: I’m very organized 🤓
➡️ Example in practice: I’ll plan each week and each day precisely, what do I have to do to reach my goal. It’s easier for me to get to work with a propper ‘to do’ list.
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🔸️ Your strenght: I’m flexible / creative 😜
➡️ Example in practice: Whenever new situation/obstacle appears don’t freak out. You’re creative, you got this! 💪Just sit down and think of a new way/new plan how to solve it/go around your obstacle 🤔.
E.g. I often work longer hours at work and end up with shorter time to work on my personal projects or suddenly get some family issue BUT I don’t cancel my ‘to do’ list completely 🚫. I work around it, leave those things that I can still manage to do that day and move some other stuff to the following day. Sometimes I change my ‘to do’ list even 5 times a day 🤪 but I never cross a thing to do off my list completely.
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🔸️ Your strenght: I am able to work late hours but I’m not an early bird 😴
➡️ Example in practice: You know yourself best! If it’s hard for you to get up early (e.g. on Saturdays) don’t plan anything for early hours thinking (“ah, I’ll definitely manage to get up this time!”). If you’re a night owl plan your stuff to do for evenings! 😉 You know what your most productive time of the day is, use it!
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Next week we’ll talk about how to plan your ‘to do’ list using your weaknesses and how to be ready to fight any excuse!
MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY – STEP 3: Setting a goal and a deadline
What is your goal? What do you need motivation for? 🤔
We’ll get to tips/steps how to work on our willpower and how to boost our motivation soon but 1st we need to learn to set precise goals we want to reach and how to estimate deadline for it 😊
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Do you know a SMART method of setting a goal?
A goal needs to be:
S – Specific – Provide enough detail so that you know exactly what you should be doing. For example, don’t set a goal like „I need to lose 10kg in 3 months”. Make it more „I need to start eating more vegetables and workout 4 times a week” 🥦💪. This is more doable and you have more control over it
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M – Measurable – A measurable goal has an outcome that can be assessed as a hit or miss ✔❌. So e.g. you can easily check whether you worked out 4 times this week.
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A – Achievable – An achievable goal has an outcome that is realistic given your current situation. Make sure you actually have the time 🕰 to e.g. workout 4 times a week. Don’t set such goal if you know you won’t make it.
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R – Realistic – Start small. If you set your goal too high („I need to lose 10kg in a month”) there’s too big pressure and you will give up quickly if you won’t see results you’d want 🤔
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T – Time Bound – Set a timeframe for the goal: „in three months”, „by six months”. Setting an end point for the goal gives you a clear target to achieve 🏁
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Now how to set good time bound/deadline for it? 🤔
I recently learned that there actually is a mathematical formula for estimating a time that you need for some project and you can calculate it using the PERT Formula 🧐
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The PERT estimate (E) is based on a formula that includes your optimistic time estimate (O), your most likely time estimate (M) and your pessimistic time estimate (P). The basic equation is this:
E = (O + 4M +P) / 6
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So now go on set a goal and estimate the time you need to reach it!
I want to workout 4 times a week and start writing my 2nd book (+couple more). And my deadline is Oct 27th because we’re starting holidays then and going to…Mexico! 😊
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So tell me, what are your goals? 😊
Following dreams
Do you follow your dreams? 😗
Do you do anything you can to reach your goal? 📈
Do you wake up thinking how you can get closer to your goal and go to bed setting plans how to do it? 😉
This is how your mindset should look like 😉
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Have I ever told you the story of how I wanted to work in music industry – to be a tour manager to be exact – and so I dropped everything, I left my family, left my friends and moved to London by myself in 2013? 😀 It was supposed to be for life but it didn’t work out and I moved back to Poland over a year later.
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I worked my a** off there. Had 1 full-time job and 3 (!) internships – in a record label, with a band and in an event agency. I learned A LOT and have plenty amazing memories from that time 😍.
It didn’t work out but I TRIED.
It’s not always gonna work out how you wish it would but you find out if it has or hasn’t unless you try!
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And sometimes it will work out just like I promised myself I won’t stop until I publish a book I wrote (also in 2013 😅). It took 6 years but I did it!
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Follow your dreams no matter what!
Plan the steps you need to take to get what you want, be creative with it and work out plan A, B and even C with different paths to reach it and then work hard on it! 😀
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September is a great month to start working on our dreams (according to research it is 2nd best month, after January, when people are most motivated) sooo…starting on September 6th we’ll start new series – Motivational Mondays with Smiley Society! 😉
Jump and reach the sky! 🤩
Take that step and reach out towards your goals, your dreams! 💪
There’s nothing stopping you!
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I keep saying that it is you and only you that decide whether you take that step and try to follow your dreams or not! Go get it! 🤗
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There are plenty people who think „Nah, it’s good to dream but I’ll never make it” 🙄 or „It’s impossible to do that” 🤷🏼♀️ etc. Unless you’re dreaming of being younger, taller, being Britney Spears’ sister 😅 or something trully impossible, you can do it and I believe in you! 🤗
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There are SO MANY examples of people starting with nothing but a dream yet with hard work, determination and a bit of luck somehow they manage to suceed! 🤗
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If you need motivation read some of the Inspirational Stories I’ve been posting (check out Inspirational Stories guide on ig or see Inspirational Stories page here on my blog)! 😉
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You can do it! 😉
Don’t be a chicken!
Don’t be a chicken 🐥 and leave your comfort zone 😁! If you want to achieve something extraordinary (and you probably do as all of us 😅), if you want to be successful (as all of us 😅) or reach your goals you need to leave your comfort zone!
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Comfort zone is where you feel safe, where you do everything automatically without any extra thought 🤔 hence when you’re in your comfort zone you don’t learn anything new, you don’t grow! 😏
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Do you know that people used to think that human can’t run the distance of 1 mile (1609m) in less than 4 minutes? 🏃♂️ So this is what used to be believed as minimum time impossible to get. Best runners in the world have been finishing races with a result of 4 minutes + couple seconds until a British athlete called Roger Bannister left his comfort zone and run that distance in less than 4min in 1954 😎
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There are plenty people who are stuck at work doing what they hate but they don’t look for a new job because they’ve been doing it so many years that they can keep doing it 🙄. The truth is they are stuck in their comfort zone. They are scared of changes, of new challenges, of meeting new people and starting from the beginning so they stay where they are.
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They prefer to be stuck in a place where they know the people, where they know what to do when they come in to the office, where they no longer have to learn anything 🙄.
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They want to be stuck there even though they hate it. 😏 That is not right. You need to overcome this fear of changes, you need to overcome your weaknesses, you need to leave your comfort zone, go out and do what you want! 🤗
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Believe me, everybody wants to be in PJs in front of tv, being chilled and not stressing about anything whole day, week, month 😉
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But this is not the way to achieve great things.
You need to grow to achieve success but you won’t grow without leaving comfort zone 😉
What goes around comes around
You know the saying ‘What goes around comes around’? 🤔 I totally believe in it! 🤗 And it’s not only about Karma and receiving some good energy after you give it 💫, this rule works in every aspect of our lives 😉
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In order to get good energy and get help from others you need to send good energy and help others as well 😊! I doubt that anybody would help a grumpy person that never helps anyone 🤷🏼♀️
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But also in order to grow and to be better you need to give something too – work and time 😎. The more work and time you’ll put in something (in your passion, project, dream) the quicker and better it will get back to you ☺
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There’s no shortcuts in it. You can’t expect to grow and to reach your dreams/goals if you’re not doing anything 🤷🏼♀️. You need to work to get results 💪
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Even if something does not work out you still get a lesson, an experience – that’s also your results! 😊
Stop waiting for the world to change and go change the world! 💪🌍
Nothing will happen itself 🤷🏼♀️. You need to ‘help’ it make it happen! 😉
I’ll be happy when…
„I’ll be happy when…”
Is that thought stuck with you? 😏 Do you keep thinking that you’ll be happy when something happens? 😬 Or when you’ll accomplish something? 🤔
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I used to think that way. I kept saying to myself „I’ll be happy when I lose weight” 💪, „I’ll be happy when I publish my book” 📕, „I’ll be happy when I get married 👰”.
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And you know what? It doesn’t work that way 🤷🏼♀️
Happiness isn’t some kind of a prize 🏆 that comes when you do what you have to do 🙄. You can lose weight, get married and reach all your dreams and still won’t be happy 😞. It’s about your mindset ⚠️
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If you keep thinking „I’ll be happy when…” this happiness will always be somewhere in the future ➡️, it will be always ahead of you and you’ll never catch up 😧.
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You need to find a way to be happy NOW ⚠️. Even when you haven’t achieved your goal, even if you’re e.g. losing weight and got still some kgs to lose 😅, be happy on your way to success 🔜.
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What if you’ll never get what you want (sorry to break it to you but it might happen)? 🤔 What if you keep saying to yourself „I’ll be happy when…” and the ‘when’ never comes and you’ll just lose weeks, months or years waiting for that happiness 😱?
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It’s not something that will come to you. It’s not like you’ll wake up one day after reaching your goal and think „wow, I’m happy now” 😉. You need to change your mindset ⚠️
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Start thinking and focusing on HERE & NOW ⬇️. Start seeing, like actually seeing 👀, what you have, what you’ve done ☺.
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Start being happy about the little things 😉. Instead of thinking „I’ll be happy when I reach my goal” be happy that you’ve started working on that goal 🤗, be happy with every step you take to reach it, be happy about every little obstacle you’ve defeated 💪.
Be happy NOW ⚠️
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Tell me, are you happy? 🤗
Let’s support each other
Have you ever told somebody about your goals/dreams/a project you had started working on and heard laughter or some unpleasant response 😞? „You’re not gonna make it!”, „This is just stupid”, „Why would you wanna do that?”.
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Have you ever had a new dream or started working on some new goal and decided to keep it to yourself because you were scared of others’ reaction 🤷🏼♀️?
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Have you just stopped telling your close ones about your dreams or your accomplishments because you don’t feel like you have their support and nothing ever impresses them 💔?
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I know I have. I have 1 big project that I’m working on that my family doesn’t know about and 1 secret project that I haven’t told ANYONE about 🤐
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And you know what? This is not how it’s supposed to work 👎.
We should all SUPPORT each other, we should all BELIEVE in others and we should ALWAYS be happy for others’ successes and let them know that they did a good job/congratulate them 👏.
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We REALLY need to learn to be happy for others and to support them. Even if a friend of yours tells you about most obscure, to you 😉, dream, something that he/she wants sooo bad and works hard for it, even if it is totally uninteresting to you and you wouldn’t want a thing like that – support your friend, if it makes her/him happy be happy to her/him 🙏.
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And if you’re not supporting somebody because deep deep down inside you are jealous (come on, admit it 😉) of somebody’s accomplishmets be patient and learn to be happy for others. Your time will come too 🤩. It’s not a race where only 1 gets a reward. If somebody succeeded before you it doesn’t mean that you cannot succeed too! 🎖
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Let’s all help each other, support each other and lets openly talk about our dreams 💬
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So tell me, what are you dreams? What have you been recently working on?
Whatever it is I BELIEVE IN YOU!! 🤗
How to be HAPPY 