Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 30

Today we continue subject of deferring gratification. If, after last week’s task, you already know that it brings you problems I have good news for you: you can practice the ability to defer gratification (so self-control) 🤗.
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This exercise is from Kelly McGonigqal’s book „The Willpower Instinct”:
It appears that 10 minutes is not a long time to wait for something we want 🕰. Neurologists however discovered that it has great impact on how your brain processes the vision of reward 🤔.
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If inatant gratification is supposed to come after 10 minutes then our brain sees it as future benefit ➡️. Then the system that processes the promise of a reward calms down and strong biological impulse to instant consummation weakens ⬇️.
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Our brain comparing a cookie that we have to wait 10 minutes for 🍪 with a long-term benefit like losing weight 💪 stops leaning towards promised reward that much. In the instant gratification it is the ‘instant’ part that seduces our brain and changes our preferences 🧠
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In order for your brain to think straight make a decision to always wait 10 minutes before you succumb to temptation 😉. If after 10 minutes you still want it, take it. Before the time passes though try to think of long-term benefits you’ll get for resisting temptation. If it’s possible, try also creating some physical or visual distance.
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If your challenge for willpower requires using „I want” strenght (so doing something you don’t feel like doing) you can also use „10 minutes rule” to help you resist the temptation of delaying necessary actions and to force yourself a bit to do them 😉.
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Try making it „do it for 10 minutes, then you can stop”. Let yourself stop working after 10 minutes – it might turn out that as you already had started you will want to continue 😉
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Try making that excercise and write down your results. „10 miutes rule” might work great when you  don’t feel like working out! 💪😁

Next week: How to fight temptation!
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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 28

How do you relax? 😉
Today’s last part of „Be good to yourself” series.
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Do you remember when we talked about factors that weaken your strong will? 🤔 It was stress and tiredness and lately we’ve been talking a lot about the danger of treating yourself badly and punishing (and getting into a trap of „everything or nothing” thinking” ⚠️).
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That’s why sometimes in order to rebuild and strengthen strong will you need rest, regeneration and pleasures that will give you energy and motivation to work 🤗.
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Task for today: Make a list of your ways of relax and pleasures. It is important so that they wouldn’t be contradictory to your goal (so e.g. don’t write on your list „eating huge pizza” or „eating chocolate cookies”  when your goal is to eat healthy 😉).
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It might be an evening with a good book 📖 or a movie 🎬, talk or meeting with a friend 💬, relaxing bath 🛀, walk around the neighbourhood 🏞, playing with dog 🐶, relaxing yoga session etc. 🧘🏼‍♀️
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So what are your ways to relax? Tell me! 😊

Next week: Sometimes it’s better to postpone
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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 27

What’s the difference between punishment and self-discipline? 🤔 Perhaps you’ve already asked yourself that on our last step about punishing yourself. How to distinguish it? 🧐
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You don’t want to be too strict but on the other hand you need self-discipline so as not to spend the rest of your life living lazily and letting everything go and not reaching any goals 😉.
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Do you know that the word „discipline” means in latin knowledge, giving orders, teaching? 👨🏻‍🎓 As you see it has nothing to do with punishment, right? 😊
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Authors of many books about discipline emphasize that it comes from constant attempts. You fail, you get up wiser and move on 💪. Self-discipline is an effect of your effort and not giving up on next attempts.
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While main task of the punishment is to scare, it only teaches us what to avoid, brings tension, and often, fear and anger 🤢.
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I hope that you see now the difference and as to be good to yourself you’ll start liking self-discipline and avoid punishing 🤗
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How to distinguish them in practice? Common ground of those two often is the will to avoid some activity. Sometimes we need to force ourselves to do something that is beneficial to us (e.g. working out).
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How can we know if our forcing is a part of self-discipline or punishment? 🤔
If you’re not sure think of a situation when you really don’t feel like doing something and answer couple questions:
*Sitation:
*What do you feel then? 🤔
*Is my body tense or loose? Do I clutch my jaw, feel tension in my arms? 😓
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If you feel a lot of tension, anger or fear and negative thoughts about yourself pop into your head it is probably closer to punishment than to self-discipline. You’ll recognize self-discipline when you’ll  be easily able to say why activity that you’re trying to force yourself to is good and beneficial to you 🤗

Nexy week: Learn to rest
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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 25

How did last excercise go? Did you manage to sincerely answer to the questions? 🤔 If you have you might’ve noticed that you can be too strict to yourself and today you’re gonna find out how to change it 🤗
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Remember last situation when you’ve made a mistake, a situation when you thought bad about yourself. Got it? What did you think of yourself then? What were you saying to yourself? 🤔
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Now imagine that you best friend, a relative, somebody close to you comes to you and tells you that she/he has had an identical situation and she/he is waiting for your reaction. What would you tell her/him? 😉
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Task for today: Compare what you say to yourself and what would you say to a person close to you in the same situatio 🤗

Next week: Learning without punishing yourself
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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

About me · Be positive!

Quarantine sum up

So tell me – how you’ve been lately? 🤗
I gotta say that those last 3 months has been really productive to me and I am satisfied with what I’ve managed to do. Apart from doing 200-300% norm at work I managed to work a lot on my personal projects/dreams too 😊.
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Obviously I’ve spent looooads of time doing stuff for @smileysociety and for you here 😉 – I’ve been posting regularly, working on special stories for you, created Positive Morning Posts 🙂 with good news and Chill Evening Sessions 🌠 to make you feel better during those times, I’ve made #SmileyTravelling Challenge for you on my ig so we wouldn’t miss travelling that much and plenty more.
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Even though working on my blog  here took me 60-70% of my free time I used the rest of it to get into shape 💪and to read 📖! I’ve never been working out so regularly as I have now – been working out 3-4 times a week lately and I loved it 💙! I also challanged myself to read 1 book a month and so I’ve read 3 books since April – it is a lot for me as I usually don’t read that much anymore 😅.
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Apart from it all I started serious work on my 2nd novel, planning & plotting, creating characters and ideas for the plot and I am planning to start writing it in October ✒
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Even though it’s been horrible at times, I’ve been scared, I missed my family, I missed my friends, I pushed myself to the limits as if the world was ending 😅! I just didn’t want this time to go to waste and I am so glad I did!
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And even though I am tired and I am dreaming of holidays at last 😅 I am satisfied with my work in 1st half of 2020 and I still believe this will be my year 😉
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So what I’ve been trying to say is that no matter how bad the situation is (and I don’t mean only Covid-19 and quarantine times but anything else too) always try to do your best 💪. We all react to bad situations  differently obviously and if  somebody was really scared during last months, felt anxious and didn’t do anything productive that’s fine too! But when you look back now to those insecure times forget about all the bad stuff and focus on what you have done and what you’ve managed to accomplish 🤗
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Now it’s all gonna be better! 😊