Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 27

What’s the difference between punishment and self-discipline? 🤔 Perhaps you’ve already asked yourself that on our last step about punishing yourself. How to distinguish it? 🧐
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You don’t want to be too strict but on the other hand you need self-discipline so as not to spend the rest of your life living lazily and letting everything go and not reaching any goals 😉.
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Do you know that the word „discipline” means in latin knowledge, giving orders, teaching? 👨🏻‍🎓 As you see it has nothing to do with punishment, right? 😊
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Authors of many books about discipline emphasize that it comes from constant attempts. You fail, you get up wiser and move on 💪. Self-discipline is an effect of your effort and not giving up on next attempts.
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While main task of the punishment is to scare, it only teaches us what to avoid, brings tension, and often, fear and anger 🤢.
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I hope that you see now the difference and as to be good to yourself you’ll start liking self-discipline and avoid punishing 🤗
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How to distinguish them in practice? Common ground of those two often is the will to avoid some activity. Sometimes we need to force ourselves to do something that is beneficial to us (e.g. working out).
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How can we know if our forcing is a part of self-discipline or punishment? 🤔
If you’re not sure think of a situation when you really don’t feel like doing something and answer couple questions:
*Sitation:
*What do you feel then? 🤔
*Is my body tense or loose? Do I clutch my jaw, feel tension in my arms? 😓
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If you feel a lot of tension, anger or fear and negative thoughts about yourself pop into your head it is probably closer to punishment than to self-discipline. You’ll recognize self-discipline when you’ll  be easily able to say why activity that you’re trying to force yourself to is good and beneficial to you 🤗

Nexy week: Learn to rest
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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

Be positive!

How to be happy in a relationship

Happy Valentines!

On this day I want to talk to you about LOVE.

We have all seen many romantic movies, we’ve read beautiful books about perfect relationships, we know all the fairytales but people tend to think it works like that in real life too.

People tend to expect too much of a man/woman when looking for a partner and then expect too much from the relationship. Don’t get me wrong. True love does exist and there are plenty beautiful and happy stories but it’s not a fairytale but 2 people making it beautiful.

I used to be one of those people believing in fairytales. I waited for my prince, wanted him to be tall, British, and a brunet.  But then in 2016 i fell in love with a Polish man with blond hair and who’s shorter than me. And you know what? He is my prince. And he’s my husband now (here’s a photo from our honeymoon 4 months ago).

Later on our relationship taught me what is most important in making love work. Communication. With good communication you can have a relationship just like in movies. Talk to each other. Tell your significant other what you feel, what makes you mad, what you like and what don’t you like. Women are weird 😀 if your man drives you crazy by doing something just tell him that! How can you expect him to change if he doesn’t know there is a problem? Also, what is super important, men really are from Mars and women from Venus, haha – stop thinking your man will get the idea to do something, he won’t. Even if there’s a full basket of dirty clothes he won’t notice it. Don’t wait for him to do laundry and be mad if he doesn’t. Men are not like that, they don’t notice things that need to be done. Just tell him nicely „can you do the laundry?”. Communication.

Another thing – even though you are a couple you are still 2 different people. You can like different things. You can have different habits. You can get angry with the way he segregates clothes or dishes cause you do it other way but he can just as much get irritated they way you do it. Communication. Tell him what you like, listen to what he likes. Work compromises.

Last thing – as I said, we are 2 individuals, 2 seperate bodies, 2 seperate minds. We do things differently. So when your man doesn’t show you the affection, doesn’t hug you or kiss you that many times as you’d like or doesn’t tell you „I love you” every day don’t get angry with him straight away. Maybe he shows the affection other way? Maybe he takes care of you when you’re not feeling well and brings you tea? Maybe he covers you with a blanket when you fall asleep on the sofa? Maybe he does something for you when he sees that you’re tired? This is love too. All those actions. Not just saying „I love you” – this is the easy way. But if you need to hear it more often anyway just tell him that. Communication!

 

So what I am trying to say – beautiful love doesn’t come to you itself, you have to make it beautiful. And if you’re single – prince charming won’t come to you himself, you have to make a decent man you meet a prince.