Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 20

As I have mentioned before, psychogists compare willpower to a muscle 💪 so they imply that we can train it and that it has its limits.
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Just like muscles our self-control can also get…tired 😪. And that’s the moment when we often think that we no longer have the power and give up 🤷🏼‍♀️
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I am sure you know this feeling – you e.g. do a squat or a plank, you are supposed to keep it for 30 seconds, muscles burn like crazy and it’s only 14, 15, 16 seconds… A thought appears in your mind „I won’t make it, I am tired, I am not strong enough!” 😫. You are facing a challenge then – either let it go and stop the excercise earlier or force yourself to check if you’re maybe stronger than you think..💪
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Willpower works exactly the same! Next time when you face such situation try to get through first feeling of tiredness. Don’t give up straight away, you might find out that despite that tiredness you still have plenty energy and more willpower that you’ve assumed. 😉
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Be careful – you can also overtrain your willpower. If you feel overwhelming tiredness that doesn’t go away don’t push yourself to exhaustion ⚠️. Get some rest, regenerate and then try again 😇.
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If you feel tired all the time you should think what’s the cause of that. Maybe stress, lack of sleep, Hypothyroidism? 🤔 Reasons of that can be plenty so if you often feel tired don’t ignore it ⚠️ Next week: Source of your „I desire” power
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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 19

In previous step we’ve establilshed what can weaken your willpower, today we’re gonna talk how to empower it! 💪
Let’s try doing willpower training, shall we?
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How does it work if comparing willpower to a muscle is metaphorical? 🤔 The key to successful willpower training is noting, which you will do in a second, and chosing what’s harder for you. It is about creating a habit of stoping  to make right decision that brings you closer to your goal 😌.
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There are 3 ways to train your willpower. They refer to 3  powers: „I don’t want to”, „I desire” and automonitoring.
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Method 1: Improve your „I don’t want to” power. Chose one of your small bad habits that you’d like to change/eliminate like overusing some word, sitting wrong or anything else 😊
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Method 2: Improve your „I desire” power. Promise to yourself that you’ll start doing 1 thing a day that brings you closer to your goal (that you haven’t been doing before). It can be working out, drinking 1,5l of water a day, self-care ritual etc 😊
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Method 3: Improve automonitoring. Consciously observe something that you usually pay attention to and which is important to reach your goal, e.g. monitor what you eat (and what you snack between meals! 😉), what do you spend money on, how much time do you spend with your close ones etc. 😊
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It is important that you find small ways for practicing your self-control 🧠. Remember that willpower works like muscle and you can also overtrain it ⚠️. Don’t throw yourself in the deep end, start slowly, start small. 😉
Which method will you start with?
Next week: Willpower vs tiredness
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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”
P.s. It is Mother’s Day today in Poland 😊💕 and I’m gonna see my Mom finally today after almost 4 months

Be positive!

Reaction

Do you know Tony Robbins’ famous story about two brothers? 👬 There was two brothers who had an abussive alcoholic father. Their childhood was very dark, they lived in poverty 😞. Years later, when they grew up, one brother was very successful 💰, had a well-known company, wife and kids 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦, was contributing to society, volunteering etc and another one was an alcoholic too 😪🍾. Somebody asked both of them „How is it possible? 🤷🏼‍♀️ How is it possible you didn’t turn out the same? Why do you think you became a volunteer? Why did you think you became an alcoholic?”. Both answered same thing „Who else could I become with a father like this?”
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We can’t control what happens to us but we can control how we react to it ⚠️. You can either feel sorry about yourself, be miserable and live miserable life or you can turn your disappointment/sadness into energy and use it to make your life better 💪
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There are so many people with same stories yet different endings. There are so many people who’s had abussive childhood but wanted to leave it behind them and achieve something big 🤩! There are so many examples of it among famous people like Lady Gaga, Jennifer Lawrence, Dwayne Johnson, Joaquin Phoenix, Oprah, Tony Robbins himself…just look at my Inspirational Stories 😉! All of them had difficult childhood and look at them now! 😎🎬🏆
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Bad things happen to people everyday. It’s sad but it’s true 🤷🏼‍♀️. But it’s our choice what we’re gonna do with it! First of all appreciate what you have 🙏, secondly learn from your mistakes/failures/sad experience and then use it to build a better future 📈!
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I know it’s harder than it sounds but it is all in your hands 🤲. You have all the tools to make your life happy, it’s  your move to use them. Nobody is going to do it for you 😉. It’s all in your hands and in your mind.

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 18

Do you know that willpower is a part of our intincts? 🤔 Last week we talked about „fight or flight” response and today we’re gonna talk about „pause-and-plan response” – my favourite 😉
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This mechanism stops an arousal in our body (the one we feel e.g. when seeing a cake 🤤) and increases the amount of the energy that goes into your mind 🧠. Prefrontal cortex, a part of our brain that is responsible for controlling impulses and planning, starts to work harder 💪. It shares an information with other parts of the mind: Launching self-control! Thanks to it we can take deep breath, stop with a hand on a bag of chips, think and…put it down 😉
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Now the good news – not only is self-control a strong instinct like „fight or flight” reaction but you can actually help launching it! 😊 There is an easy, free and accessible for everybody way to do it – the key is to learn to breathe properly. That’s right, breathe. 💨
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In order to improve your willpower slow down the rhythm of your breathing, do 4-6 breaths in a minute 🙏. Try to make each one last 10-15 seconds. But don’t hold your breath (it will only make you feel stressed!) but slowly make each inhale and exhale longer. It is easier to start with prolonging your exhale first. Make sure to exhale all out, this way it is easier to take deep breath in.
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It requires practicing so don’t get mad when you don’t get that rhythm right away. The more you practice the better! 😉
Next week: Empowering your willpower :::
Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 17

Today’s step is a bit long but it is SO important in everyday life ⚠️
How big impact does stress have on willpower? In order to answer that question I’ll tell you about „fight 👊 or flight ✈ response”. It is a physiological reaction when seeing danger that’s been protectin people for centuries from deadly threats.
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How does it work? 🤷🏼‍♀️ Let’s say you’ve noticed a venomous snake on your path. A part of your brain called amygdala reacts instantly and it prepares your body to fight or run away. The secretion of stress hormones increases, liver releases fats and sugars giving organism energy, lungs start to work faster to oxygenate body, the blood circulation accelerates (that’s why heart start to beat so fast!) to deliver needed substances to all cells. Basically whole organism is mobilizing for you to have best shot to survive 💪. In order not to delay your reactions the activity of the prefrontal cortex, so the part of your brain that is responsible for controlling impuleses, decreases ⬇️
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What does it mean? Stress physically decreases your ability to self-control ⚠️
Brain still works in the same way as if you were standing in front of a venomous snake and it starts fight or flight reaction. E.g. when you see an annoying e-mail from your boss 😉. That’s why it is so important to learn to deal with stress!
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Task for today divides into 3 parts:
1. Try relaxation. Lie down or sit down in a comfortable position 🧘🏼‍♀️, close your eyes, take deep breath and let your body loose muscle by muscle 🙏.
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2. Answer those questions:
· What do you think about stress and its affect on your life?
· How do you rate your stress level?
· Do  you think of the stress that you experience as bad stress 👎or good stress 👍?
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3. Watch short Ted talk with Kelly McGonigal „How to make stress your friend” – so good! 😍
Next week: Improve your willpower by breathing :::
Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

Be positive! · Health

Rest

How do you rest? ⚠️
Do you lie down on a couch in front of a TV? And when you do, do you relax, focus on a movie and let your problems aside? ☺ Or do you watch a movie but in reality you keep thinking what you haven’t done, what still needs to be done, you analyze your problems and in fact have no idea what’s going on in the movie? 👀
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You need to LEARN TO REST! That’s right, learn to rest 😉
When it’s relax time you need to focus on here & now and enjoy the silence/movie/chill. 🤗
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Learn to „lock” your problems in a cage and keep them there for later 🗝, now enjoy your time off.
If you’re having a problem dividing relax time and „worrying time” 😅 plan it 😉. Find a spot in your calendar where you can sit for 15-30min and think about your situation, about solutions for possible problems etc. Do it during this time and then have proper time off.
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When it’s relax time it relax time! Remember! Otherwise you’ll never rest and you’ll never feel relaxed ⚠️

Self-evolving · Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 16

I’ve got good news for you – willpower can be trained! 💪 It is often treated like something you either have or don’t but psychology researches show that you can train your strong will just like your muscles. And nobody was born with a 6-pack, right? 😉
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It is great news because those who aren’t scrupulous naturally can train it 💪. You’ve actually already started it with implementation intention (step 10) and by process visualisation (step 11) 😉
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Since willpower works like a muscle it has limited source of energy and strength. There are things that empower it 👍 but there are also things that weaken it 👎.
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Your goal is to get to know and, if possible, remove your obstacles to having strong will 😎. Those most basic ones are stress, tiredness and lack of sleep. It seems so simple, right? 🤷🏼‍♀️ Yet you do not always see the connection between those factors and your willpower.
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Task for today: Observe and write down (or analyze past experiences if you’re calm and rested today) how stress and tiredness have impact on your willpower:
* What situations are those?
* What happens then?
* How do you react?
* Is it harder for you to stick to your goal?
* Do you have any ways to help yourself and not to be tempted (turn your „I don’t want to” power on) or to do something that you don’t feel like doing (turn your „I want to” power)? Next week: Stress vs willpower (next week Smiley Future will be on Wednesday!)

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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 14

Today we start realising our goal! In upcoming steps willpower will be one of most important subjects. ⚠️
Here’s what’s most important.
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Willpower divides into 3 parts:
· Power to do something even though you’d prefer to avoid it (power „I want to!”) 💪
· Power helping push temptations away (power „I don’t want to”) 🚫
· Power that remembers  what you desire in long-term (power „I desire!”) 🤩 :::
Willpower is what differs us from animals. By forseeing future you are able to not give in to impulses or instincts ⚠️. Thinking about will power you often want to delete lower impulses or some feelins but they are important too! 😉
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For example disgust protects you from bad food, fear from danger and desires help you setting goals 😉. If you want to improve your willpower it is not about fighting impulses but about using them to help you 🤗
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How to manage your willpower? 🤔 For that you need to get to know yourself better. Only when you understand your way of thinking in a situation that requires your willpower then you can strengthen it 💪.
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You make many decisions on autopilot (and it’s good because there are s omany of them during a day that your brain would not be able to get to them all!😅) so your task for today is to notice that autopilot and improving you self-awarness.
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Observe and write down ✒
·What situations need your willpower? 🤔
· What thoughts, feelings, impulses appear in those situations? 🧐
· What decisions they lead you to? Supporting your goal or the opposite? 🤔
·  Which moments/elements are crucial to making a decision? Noticing them will help you stop that bad autopilot and prepare for those situations earlier. 🧐
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If you want to learn more about it I advice you to read Kelly McGonigal’s book „The Willpower Instinct: How Self-Control Works, Why It Matters, and What You Can Do To Get More of It” 📖
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Next week: Mind traps
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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

Health · Psychology facts

Sleep well

Today I want to talk to you about sleep. Having a good night sleep and feeling rested in the morning has enormous effect on your mood so it is important to make sure you sleep well. ⚠️ Here’s 12 facts about SLEEPING.💤
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1.It is very important what you do 2-3h before sleeping. When you fall asleep while overthinking, the mind remains active as if you were awake which is why you tend to wake up tired. Try to relax before sleep time. Also, don’t look at blue light (so no phones, no tv) at least 30min before bed time 🚫📱
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2.Bedroom should be only used for sleeping (and sex). You shouldn’t work in bed, watch tv or even read books. Make sure that your brain connects bed only with rest. This way your mind will reprogram into „a sleeping mode” when you go to bed and you’ll fall asleep easier. Bed is not a place for work! 🛌
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3.Medically speaking, it would be best if your bedroom had only bed in it and nothing more. If you can do it. Especially get rid of radios, TV and computers 🚫🖥
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4.When you wake up in the middle of the night don’t check what time it is 🕜
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5.Find your rhythm and try to go to sleep at the same time everyday and get up at the same time 🌠
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6.Make sure it is as dark in your bedroom as it can get. The darker the better. It helps your body produce melatonin (an important hormone) 🌃
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7.Make sure it is quiet. No clock that tick tocks, no humming sound, nothing. It should be total silence there 🔇
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8.The older you get the less sleep you need. When 20-30 years old you need 7.5-8h of sleep everyday; 30-40 around 7h. When you’re over 40 only 6h of sleep will be enough and over 50 even 5h will do. But! Sleeping for less than five hours any night decreases the productivity of your immune system, metabolism and the body’s response to stress 🤯
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9.Good sleep makes you more creative and makes your memory stronger 🧠
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10.Lack of a good night sleep makes it difficult to absorb new things 🤷🏼‍♀️
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11.Getting more sleep will decrease your chances of experiencing and being more affected by negative emotions☺
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12.The happier you are, the less sleep you require to function in everyday life. Sadness increases the urge to sleep more 🤗

Be positive! · Health

Clear your mind

When stressed, when tired, when overwhelmed or disoriented – clear your head.

We tend to be in a bad mood when there’s a chaos in our heads. All you need to do is to organize your thoughts and answer all the questions that keep bouncing in your mind.

Sit down, close your eyes and focus on your thoughts. What do you hear? Is your mind telling you  over and over about some things you need to remember? Is it visualising one of your problems? Is there a chaos in your head cause you don’t know what to do about something? Write your thoughts down. It always helps me. The process of writing itself works as a cleanse for your mind cause you’re taking bunch of your thoughts from your mind and you’re leaving it on paper. For example, when your mind keeps telling you to remember to do something the next day just write it down in your calendar. Whenever I have a new idea for something or just wake up full of new thoughts I take my calendar and write down all the things I need to do. Even small ones like „write an email to Mr X” or „buy a gift for your brother”. Whenever I „take that thought out” of my brain and write it down my mind stops screaming about it and it’s calmer up there. Same with approaching all problems – if I find myself in a new situation, have a problem to deal with, I think of a solution, try to think of who can I contact for help, where do I need to call etc and just write it all in my calendar. Some pages can be full of small things to do but it is so much easier when you just wake up, look at the calendar and you know what to do.

As you may already know I do a lot of things (work, music agency, blog, my secret project 😉 and many other things) so whenever I feel overwhelmed and feel lost in this all I take a piece of paper, divide it into groups and write down where am I at each project, what needs to be done, where do I want to go with it etc. Write all your questions or doubts down as well. When you have it all on the paper just look at it and read it out loud. You should feel calmer when you know what you stand on and when you see (literally see on paper) what else you need to do. You can combine two things and after doing such cleanse on paper with all your projects, doubts and questions written down write all the next steps you need to take in your calendar. Don’t put too much on 1 day though. There’s no rush, give yourself time.

If you have a tough decision to make – write all the pros and cons down. Writting down helps a lot!

Another thing you can do to clean your mind is cleaning your apartament. It is scientifically proven that when you clean your apartament you feel calmer and „clean” in your head too.

Also, when you’re full of stressful or chaotic thoughts – take your trash out. This is proven to connect to your mind and when you throw out your garbage you throw out your bad thoughts too!