Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 34

Let’s continue our talk about procrastination so constant postponing for later 🤷🏼‍♀️
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Last week I’ve mentioned that fear of failure might be one of the reasons of procrastination. Today couple words on another possible reason of constant postponing things for later.
You might be surprised but it is…fear of success! 😳
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Yes, sometimes subconsiously you’re afraid of success 😞. Why? You can be scared of the reaction of people around you (e.g. because of jealousy 🙄) or you can be afraid of even bigger pressure that you will not fulfill 🤯 (I’m sure you’ve heard of writers who after a big success of their first book had an enormous difficulty to write another)
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How to remedy it? The awarness and naming the fear of success itself might be very helpful 👍.
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Try answering those questions:
➡️ What are you afraid of in possible success?
➡️ Imagine that you’ve reached your goal. What will happen then?
➡️ Can you, apart from obvious benefits, suffer losses too? If yes, what would that be?
➡️ Is your fear justified?
➡️ Who could you talk to about your fears?
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If you can, ask somebody close to you for support, talk to somebody 💬 who is more objective and can look at your fears and doubts from another perspective 😉
I’m all ears if you want to talk! 😊
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Next week: Use some motivation techniques that you know
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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 33

This and next week you’ll look at postponing things for later closer. Why does it happen to you? How can you prevent that? 🤔
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One of the reasons of procrastinating is FEAR OF FAILURE 😳. It often comes with excessive perfectionism but it might have other sources too.
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This fear can paralyze you to this extend that when you are facing some task you keep postponing it for later and later 🙄 Do you know the feeling? I sure do. And in the end there’s so little time that you explain failure by lack of time 🙄
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How to prevent it? 🤔
1. If it’s perfectionism  that stands in the way and is a reason of fear and procrastination keep repeating this: „Something that is done is better than something perfect”! 🤗 If you have another favourite way of reminding yourself that it is better to do something  not perfect rather than not do it at all – use it! 😊
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2. Divide the task into smaller steps. This might reduce the fear of ton of work that is awaiting you. Reward yourself for each step that  you’ve accomplished 🎖

Now write down the steps of your task or goal.

Does it help?
 
Next week: Fear of success
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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 32

Do you happen to think of yourself as lazy? 🤪 Are you lazy though? 🤔 Or maybe you’re just procrastinating – constantly postponing things that need to be done to the very last second? 🤷🏼‍♀️
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How is it different from being lazy? Lazy people like the state of not doing anything and they feel good about that 😝 while those who procrastinate feel bad about not having done something, they feel guilty and suffer because of that 😫
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Task for today: check if the problem of procrastinating concerns you as well 🧐
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Answer those questions:
🔸️Do you often can’t get to do something, can’t force yourself to work on something that is important to you and you end up not doing it at all? 🤷🏼‍♀️

🔸️Do you often wait for the „perfect” moment to start some important project and you keep postponing it? 😏

🔸️Do you happen to delay realization of some important task by doing some other important (but not crucial) things? 🙄

🔸️Does it often happen that you can’t start some important to you task and you end up feeling stressed and/or scared after that? 😟

🔸️Does it often happen to you that you start working on something that is important to you (e.g. going on a diet, starting writing a book etc) but you quickly interrupt it and never come back to it? 🤷🏼‍♀️
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If you’ve answered „YES” ✔ to 3 or more questions next steps might be very useful to you 😉. We’ll think of some possible reasons of constant postponing important things for later 🤔
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Next week: Fear of failure
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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 31

Do you know that saying „out of sight, out of mind”? 🤔 Turns out that scientific researches prove that wisdom when it comes to fighting temptation and empowering willpower! 💪
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Good healthy mindset probably already suggests you that it is easier not to eat sweets when you don’t have them around in the house 😉
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Brian Wansink, american psychologist learning about eating behaviour did an interesting research with James E. Painter that he describes in his book „Mindless Eating” 🧐
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Gentlemen gave their secretaries chocolates 🍫 on Secretaries week in some office. Some of the sweets were in a box with  a see-through lid where they could see all the chocolates 👀 and some of the sweets were in a normal not see-through box where the content of the box stayed hidden 📦.
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What do you think, which chocolates tempted more to be eaten? 😅 Of course those with a see-through lid 🤷🏼‍♀️. Women that could see the chocolates were tempted 71% times more! 😱😳 They were reaching for chocolates 7,7 times a day while those women who had „hidden” chocolates reached for them only 4,6 times a day.
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You see? Out of sight out of mind 🤗
So here’s your task for today: get rid of all the temptations in your house 😉. Not only sweets but maybe some stuff that you spend too much time on while you could spend the time working on your dreams like PS games or your Netlix account? 🤷🏼‍♀️ Think about it. You don’t have to throw them away/delete them but you can maybe lend those games to your friend or ask your friend to change your password to your Netflix account 😉
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What do you think?  Would that help you?

Next week: Procrastination so constant postponing doing things that need to be done – test
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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 28

How do you relax? 😉
Today’s last part of „Be good to yourself” series.
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Do you remember when we talked about factors that weaken your strong will? 🤔 It was stress and tiredness and lately we’ve been talking a lot about the danger of treating yourself badly and punishing (and getting into a trap of „everything or nothing” thinking” ⚠️).
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That’s why sometimes in order to rebuild and strengthen strong will you need rest, regeneration and pleasures that will give you energy and motivation to work 🤗.
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Task for today: Make a list of your ways of relax and pleasures. It is important so that they wouldn’t be contradictory to your goal (so e.g. don’t write on your list „eating huge pizza” or „eating chocolate cookies”  when your goal is to eat healthy 😉).
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It might be an evening with a good book 📖 or a movie 🎬, talk or meeting with a friend 💬, relaxing bath 🛀, walk around the neighbourhood 🏞, playing with dog 🐶, relaxing yoga session etc. 🧘🏼‍♀️
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So what are your ways to relax? Tell me! 😊

Next week: Sometimes it’s better to postpone
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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 27

What’s the difference between punishment and self-discipline? 🤔 Perhaps you’ve already asked yourself that on our last step about punishing yourself. How to distinguish it? 🧐
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You don’t want to be too strict but on the other hand you need self-discipline so as not to spend the rest of your life living lazily and letting everything go and not reaching any goals 😉.
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Do you know that the word „discipline” means in latin knowledge, giving orders, teaching? 👨🏻‍🎓 As you see it has nothing to do with punishment, right? 😊
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Authors of many books about discipline emphasize that it comes from constant attempts. You fail, you get up wiser and move on 💪. Self-discipline is an effect of your effort and not giving up on next attempts.
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While main task of the punishment is to scare, it only teaches us what to avoid, brings tension, and often, fear and anger 🤢.
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I hope that you see now the difference and as to be good to yourself you’ll start liking self-discipline and avoid punishing 🤗
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How to distinguish them in practice? Common ground of those two often is the will to avoid some activity. Sometimes we need to force ourselves to do something that is beneficial to us (e.g. working out).
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How can we know if our forcing is a part of self-discipline or punishment? 🤔
If you’re not sure think of a situation when you really don’t feel like doing something and answer couple questions:
*Sitation:
*What do you feel then? 🤔
*Is my body tense or loose? Do I clutch my jaw, feel tension in my arms? 😓
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If you feel a lot of tension, anger or fear and negative thoughts about yourself pop into your head it is probably closer to punishment than to self-discipline. You’ll recognize self-discipline when you’ll  be easily able to say why activity that you’re trying to force yourself to is good and beneficial to you 🤗

Nexy week: Learn to rest
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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

Self-evolving

How to easily change your mindset

Stop thinking „I have to” and start thinking „I can”. 💪
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This is the easiest and most effective way to find what you should be grateful for 🤗
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Instead of thinking „Damn, I have to go to work tomorrow 🙄” think „I can work! I didn’t lose job during coronavirus shutdown and I can keep on earning money 💪!”.
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Instead of thinking „I have to make dinner, I so don’t feel like it 🙄” think „I can make dinner! I have all the ingredients in the fridge and I don’t have to walk around being hungry, I am so lucky 😋!”
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Instead of thinking „I have to ride 300km to see my Mom, it’s so far away 🙄” think „I can still catch a train and go see her, not everyone is so lucky as so many people already lost their moms ❤”.
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It’s not only about finding the reasons why you should be grateful but once you start thinking like that, once you start seeing your life as a list of opportunities and not tasks that you HAVE TO do you’ll feel more willing to do them! 😉
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Words „have to” bring this pressure and tension, when you hear someone saying „you have to do this” you don’t feel like doing it at all 🤷🏼‍♀️, it works another way round.
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„I can” attitude will make you feel more willing to actually do those things, you won’t feel that pressure and you’ll do those tasks with a smile on your face! 😊
Try it out!

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 26

Do you ever punish yourself? For eating something that you shouldn’t have, skipping training, making mistake…? 🤔
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I know that this topic isn’t pleasant but if it does happen I highly encourage you to work on it 💪.
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Have a look how you find reaching your goal. Do you find it as a war – with yourself, external obstacles? 🤔 If yes then there’s risk that you’ll end up in an eternal fight with yourself and you’ll see every mistake as losing 😫. What comes next you might be even punishing yourself with bad words like „I am horrible”, strict refusing any small awards/pleasures or doing something as a punishment 😖
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So as strongwill wouldn’t break down and your desire/fighting for your goal would become a part of your everyday life, part of your lifestyle you need: patience, indulgence and will to act which doesn’t come with permament tension and fear of losing.
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Task for today: instead of treating realising your goal as a fight or „good” and „bad” actions try to look at it as a process of learning 🤓.
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You know those cute videos on YouTube of little kids learning how to walk? 😍 They fall down, get up and keep trying again and again – often with a smile on their faces! 🤗 Mistakes and slips are inseparable part of learning anything. And making new habits is nothing but learning.
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Try reformulating critical thoughts to a thought beneficial to learning. E.g. instead of telling yourself „I am lazy because I didn’t work out” it could be „I found out about myself that if I don’t work out in the morning I am too tired after work. I’ll rearrange my plan of a day.”
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Now write another examples down so you could use them in the future.
Critical thought:
Thought beneficial to learning:

Next week: Distinguish punishment from self-discipline

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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

Motivation

What is success to you?

What is success to you? 🤔 What does being successful really mean? 🤔 Is it having lots of money? 💰 Being smart? 🧠 Looking good? 😎
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I’m gonna break something to you and you might feel bad but you need to be aware of that 😉: there’s always gonna be someone more beautiful 😎,  someone smarter 🧠 and, unless you’re Jeff Bezos, someone richer 💰. But that doesn’t mean you can’t be successful!
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Being successful isn’t being THE BEST. It’s being better than average. Being successul is being better than you were a month ago 💪. That’s a success!
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The best and the only scale you should be comparing your current self isn’t to other people because this might have the opposite effect, it’s comparing your current self to your past self! 😉
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As long as there’s progress there and a positive difference you’re successful! 😊
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This is healthy competition and both easiest and hardest to have! But if you’re progressing, if you’re going forward this is success!
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Do you agree?

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 25

How did last excercise go? Did you manage to sincerely answer to the questions? 🤔 If you have you might’ve noticed that you can be too strict to yourself and today you’re gonna find out how to change it 🤗
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Remember last situation when you’ve made a mistake, a situation when you thought bad about yourself. Got it? What did you think of yourself then? What were you saying to yourself? 🤔
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Now imagine that you best friend, a relative, somebody close to you comes to you and tells you that she/he has had an identical situation and she/he is waiting for your reaction. What would you tell her/him? 😉
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Task for today: Compare what you say to yourself and what would you say to a person close to you in the same situatio 🤗

Next week: Learning without punishing yourself
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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”