Do you know what is my life motto now? A motto that changed my mindset and my attitude towards life completely?
„Don’t worry – change what you can and accept what you can’t”.
Seems so simple yet so many people forget about that.
If you can change your situation then do it! Work on it and make the difference!
But if there’s something that you are not happy about but you can’t change it then just accept it.
For example, if you’re unhappy that you’re too fat this is something you can change! Go on a diet, start working out and you’ll lose weight.
But if you’re unhappy that you’re too short then it’s something that you can’t change and you need to accept it.
I know it sounds easy but you just have to! You won’t do anything about and why spend the rest of your life constantly worrying about it?
We’ve learned about gratitude (see my previous post) now it’s time to learn to notice those little things/aspects we need to be grateful for. 👀
In my yesterday’s post I wrote about being grateful and noticing big aspects like being healthy, having family or not being blind but today I want you to learn how to be happy about the little things. This is another KEY TO HAPPINESS. ⚠️⚠️⚠️ Good stuff won’t happen to you everyday, let’s face it. But in order to be happy everyday you need to smile at the little things. 😊 Like the color of the sky, good weather or delicious food 😋. If you think about it, good things DO happen to you everyday, you just need to look for them sometimes. 😁
Look around you, stop for a moment and look at other people. Have a look at colors of your surrounding. Appreciate small gestures from other people like a waiter taking care of you and being friendly in a restaurant or a doctor that wants to help you and take care of your comfort ❤. Look at the street you pass everyday, notice its buildings and their details. We tend to be in rush all the time and doing many things automatically. Stop.⚠️ You need to be present in a moment to appreciate here and now.⚠️
Focus on the things you’re doing. Stop doing everything automatically. Your mind is off then and it doesn’t appreciate the things that are happening. Before you start eating your meal stop and appreciate its colors, its smell. 👃
Just slow down and try to be present.❤
This is called MINDFULLNESS. There are many excercises to develop it so you appreciate some situations or moments more and do less things automatically.
One of the excercises is eating a raisin – perfect for beginners. Act like you’ve never eaten or seen a raisin before. Notice the way the raisin looks, how it feels, its smell or taste. Then slowly eat it but focus on it.👅
If you want to excercise it and learn to be present here and now hence appreciate your life more see this article – https://positivepsychologyprogram.com/mindfulness-exercises-techniques-activities/
How many times have you walked into a room when something odd was happening and you made your assumptions, judged someone and then turned out to be wrong? How many times have you seen someone doing something for a second and thought the worst of him/her without knowing the whole story? How many times have you heard a half of a sentence that somebody said to someone and you made up a whole story on those couple words taken out of the context?
You can see perfect examples of what I’m trying to say here in Ameriquest commercials. Do you know them? The „Don’t judge too quickly. We won’t” slogan? If you don’t, look it up: „Funniest Ameriquest Commercials – Don’t Judge Too Quickly!”, you’ll find it on youtube.
If you’ve seen it you know what I mean. Don’t judge too quickly, always try to understand. Try to see the bigger picture, what could’ve happened there. If your boyfriend doesn’t like the dinner you made for him, don’t be mad at him instantly, try to think deeper. Maybe he’s had a bad day? Maybe what you made reminds him of a grandma that he misses? There can be plenty explanations and the one you come up with will be so wrong that you’ll laugh when you know the truth. You need to control your assumptions though. ALWAYS think of at least of 2-3 things that could be true in a situation. DON’T JUMP INTO CONCLUSIONS. Those are the worst. How many couples broke up because of that? That there was a situation that looked wrong, may have looked like cheating and somebody jumped into conclusion that they other one is cheating? It may turn out to be something totally else later on but it may be too late for you to go back to how it was before you made the assumption. Couples fight, the person accused of cheating explains what happened, the other person feels sorry for jumping into conclusion but they break up anyway because thanks to this situation they got to see there’s no trust in their relationship.
Do you know what I mean?
Don’t judge. Don’t jump into conclusions. Always try to see the bigger picture, try to understand the other person why he/she is doing something.
As some of you know, mayor of my hometown Gdansk got stabbed on stage during a charity event on Sunday and died yesterday.
It is very hard for me and plenty other Gdansk citizens.
He was a great mayor for over 20 years here and he will be very missed.
When you’re sad close your eyes and think of a happy place. Try to see the colors there. If it’s a place filled with people try to see their faces, hear what they’re talking about. If your safe place is in nature without any people listen intently to the sounds around you. Do you hear the sea? Do you hear the wind?
What do you smell?
Try to go into this happy place for 5-10 minutes whenever you are sad or stresses. Always keep your eyes closed and take deep breaths.
This what you can see on the picture is my safe place, my happy place. My home. Top 3 windows (you can see tiny bit of them, the rest got cut off) is where I grew up and where my parents live ❤🙏
This is where I go to in my mind when I’m stressed.
What is your happy place?
Do you know that your thoughts have huge impact on your mood, your feelings and your behaviour? It may seem obvious but you need to learn the power of thoughts. With that knowledge you can change your perception on events, on some people, on whole world actually.
To make you understand it more, I’m gonna give you an example and paint a little picture for you. Let’s say 3 people lose their jobs. It is same situation, same environment but what can differ them? Their reactions, their thoughts. One of them will think „Oh no, what will i do now? I’m such a loser!” and be very depressed. Second one will be furious and will be yelling „They can’t fire me! This is discrimination!”. What will the 3rd one think? He’ll be the positive one and will try to look at it differently. „I don’t like it but now I can look for something new, I have biggest motivation for it now”. You can see both anger and hope in the same situation. Always try to think in a positive way in every situation.
Thoughts have impact on what we feel in a present situation. Emotions bring new thoughts that empower and confirm their legitimacy. In anger, for example, we tend to remember injuries and traumas, in depression we focus on negative aspects of our life and when we’re scared we think of all threats. It doesn’t mean that in moments of intense feelings we are always wrong, we tend to distort, ignore and disregard those information that undermine legitimacy of current feelings or beliefs though. The stronger emotions we feel, the more we go into extremes.
Think about that.
When was the last time you overreacted and made a huge deal out of something small?
This happens quite often to me actually but we need to remember to stay calm and not make decisions while being angry, sad or in any strong emotion.
Read more about the power of thoughts and exatly what I wrote here in „Mind Over Mood. Change How You Feel by Changing the Way You Think” by Dennis Greenberger and Christine A. Padesky.