3 mind traps that can weaken your willpower 😳
➡️ 1.Thinking „everything or nothing” 😬
Have you ever thought „I need to do everything from my ‘to do’ list or drop everything”? 🤔
If yes, then you got into „everything or nothing” trap which can have huge impact on your actions and effects (or lack of them 🙄). Thinking like that you don’t see your failures as small errors that you can learn from, you see it as total failure and you might start withdrawing generalized conclusions about yourself like „I’ll never succeed”, „I’m a failure” etc. STOP! ⛔
➡️ 2. Excessive pessimism or optimism „If I haven’t succeeded in 1 year I’ll never succeed” – that’s excessive pessimism when you have only negative thoughts about your future 1👎. Excessive optimism is when you ignore your past attempts and previous experience and keep thinking that „this time will be different, it will be perfect” 👍. For example, you wanted to workout regularly, you’ve had couple attempts at it and failed each time but now you think that you’ll have the willpower and you’ll workout 6 times a week for 3 months 😬. If you know what I’m talking about write all of such examples down. Now try to make each one of them more realistic e.g. „I’ll try to workout more regularly. I probably won’t be able to workout 6 times a week right away so I’ll workout 2 times this week, 3 times next week and keep improving”.
➡️ 3. Exaggeration – You exaggerate all difficulties and make everything sound impossible 🙄. „I won’t make it”, „I never do anything right”.
If you do that write all of those thoughts down and write a counterargument to each one 👍
I’ve got good news for you – willpower can be trained! 😃
It is often treated like something you either have or not but psychology researches show that you can train your strong will just like your muscles 😃. And nobody was born with a 6-pack, right? 😄
It is great news because those who aren’t scrupulous naturally can train it. You’ve actually already started it by building your plan using your strenghts and weaknesses (steps 5-6) and by creating visualisation (step 7) 😉
Since willpower works like a muscle it has limited source of energy and strength. There are things that empower it 👍but there are also things that weaken it 👎. Your goal is to get to know and, if possible, remove your obstacles to having strong will.
Those most basic ones are stress, tiredness and lack of sleep 😴. It seems so simple, right? Yet you do not always see the connection between those factors and your willpower.
Task for today: Observe and write down 📝(or analyze past experiences if you’re calm and rested today) how stress and tiredness have impact on your willpower: What situations are those? 🤔 What happens then? How do you react? 🧐
How willpower actually works?🤔
Willpower divides into 3 parts:
🔸️Power „I want to” – power to do something even though you’d prefer to avoid it
🔸️Power „I don’t want to” – power helping push temptations away
🔸️Power „I desire!” – power that remembers what you desire in long-term
Willpower is what differs us from animals😉. By forseeing future you are able to not give in to impulses or instincts. We often want to delete lower impulses or some feelings but they are important too! 😉 For example disgust protects you from bad food 🥩, fear from danger ⚠️ and desires help you set goals 😊.
If you want to improve your willpower it is not about fighting impulses but about using them to help you 🙃.
Do you know that sometimes you make decisions on autopilot? 🤔 And that’s good because there are so many of them during a day that your brain would not be able to get to them all! 🤯
Your task for today is to notice that autopilot and improve your self-awarness 😉. Observe and write down the situations when you need your willpower. What thoughts, feelings, impulses appear in those situations? 🤔 Which moments/elements are crucial to making a decision? Noticing them will help you stop that bad autopilot and prepare for those situations earlier. 🤗
If you want to learn more about it I advice you to read Kelly McGonigal’s book „The Willpower Instinct: How Self-Control Works, Why It Matters, and What You Can Do To Get More of It”
You often hear that imagining success helps you get motivated 💪. Research shows though that it is not imagining success that helps but visualisation of process so imagining the path that takes you to your goal 😉. This way you practice in your mind the difficult path that awaits you and it helps you get ready for its all steps.
What works best on you? A positive ending and what happens when you reach the goal 👍 or negative outcome and what happens if you don’t reach it 👎?
➡️ If positive visualisation is for you (like me 🙃) imagine yourself working hard, reaching next steps towards your goal 📈. Imagine yourself with a strong will and e.g. staying home to work on your business, or whatever your goal is, instead of going to a party 😉. Imagine yourself making smart decisions like getting up 30min earlier in order to workout before work or to meditate 🧘♀️ to begin a new day with a calm mind. Imagine how you feel having picked those wise decisions 🤔
Now imagine yourself at the end of the line, you’ve reached your goal! 🏅 Imagine your friends & family congratulating you on a fullfiled dream, imagine yourself giving some interview to a newspaper on how you managed to get where you are! 😎
So powerful! I usually am so pumped up after such visualisations!
➡️ If you feel more motivated seeing negative outcome and what happens when you don’t succeed imagine yourself e.g. fatter, not earning as much as you’d want and not being able to e.g. give your kids everything you’d want to.
Imagine that your family and friends tell you that your laziness problem becomes more and more serious. You walk into a party and people look at you and gossip. Now imagine how you can avoid those situations. You work hard. You put your goals first. See with your imagination getting an award.
➡️ Now think of your visualisations.
Decide whether you are more sensitive to punishments 👎 or to rewards 👍.
Imagine the proces taking you to your goal– make sure to imagine specific situations.
Write your visualisation down 🖊
Keep reading it when you need it
Today let’s talk about how to plan your ‘to do’ list using your weaknesses and how to be ready to fight any excuse! 👊
You’ve already extablished what are your weaknesses, now knowing what could be your excuse against getting to work in the future, plan your response in advance! 😃
Imagine some future scenarios that could be an obstacle on your way to reaching your goal and find solution for it. Write them down like this: “If situation X happens, I’m gonna do Y”. 📃
➡️ For example, if you want to lose some weight and you plan to work out 4-5 times a week but then when that moment comes you don’t feel like it and end up staying on the sofa, prepare that strong anti-excuse sentence for you! 👊
🔸️ “If I’m gonna feel lazy and not willing to workout, I’m gonna watch supermodels on a runway to get motivated to look that way.” 😜
➡️ Or when you need to work on your start up business but don’t feel like it:
🔸️”If I’m gonna start watching tv instead of working on my business plan, I’m gonna stop and read some inspirational stories of famous entreprenours and how they started to be more motivated.”
It is important to prepare those anti-excuse sentences earlier when you feel very excited and motivated about some new plans! 🤩 E.g. I am always very motivated and ready to get busy on Sunday evening when I plan upcoming week, I tend to plan plenty things to do the next couple of days and then often don’t feel that excited & motivated to actually do them when that time comes 🙄 – that’s why it is so important to prepare those powerful sentences earlier (I’m preparing them on Sunday when planning everything) and write them down 📃. Then in a moment of weakness read that sentence! Something like a message to your future self! 😉
Try it out!
First lets focus on your strenghts. In previous step you named all your advantages, what you are good at, what comes easy for you. Now use it in building your plan! 🤗
🔸️Your strenght: I’m very organized 🤓
➡️ Example in practice: I’ll plan each week and each day precisely, what do I have to do to reach my goal. It’s easier for me to get to work with a propper ‘to do’ list.
🔸️ Your strenght: I’m flexible / creative 😜
➡️ Example in practice: Whenever new situation/obstacle appears don’t freak out. You’re creative, you got this! 💪Just sit down and think of a new way/new plan how to solve it/go around your obstacle 🤔.
E.g. I often work longer hours at work and end up with shorter time to work on my personal projects or suddenly get some family issue BUT I don’t cancel my ‘to do’ list completely 🚫. I work around it, leave those things that I can still manage to do that day and move some other stuff to the following day. Sometimes I change my ‘to do’ list even 5 times a day 🤪 but I never cross a thing to do off my list completely.
🔸️ Your strenght: I am able to work late hours but I’m not an early bird 😴
➡️ Example in practice: You know yourself best! If it’s hard for you to get up early (e.g. on Saturdays) don’t plan anything for early hours thinking (“ah, I’ll definitely manage to get up this time!”). If you’re a night owl plan your stuff to do for evenings! 😉 You know what your most productive time of the day is, use it!
Next week we’ll talk about how to plan your ‘to do’ list using your weaknesses and how to be ready to fight any excuse!
Are you happy? Are you a positive person? I’m here to make you happy!
As some of you don’t know me, it’s time to reintroduce myself!
My name is Pola, I’m from Poland and I’m here to boost your positivity, to make you love yourself even more and to basically make you happy! 🤗
I’ve always been a positive girl, always appreciating what I got and 3 years ago I decided to share it with others and started this account 😊
I’ve also always been hard-working on following my dreams and I always try to encourage people to work on their dreams. Nothing comes magically from the sky yet we can do almost anything with a will to work, determination and hard work 💪
This is why I often talk to you here about motivation, about hard work to make you follow your dreams!
But on the others hand I highly encourage and often talk about the need to rest, to practice self-care etc.
It’s all about that healthy balance!
If you don’t know it yet, I post:
🔸️ Positive News on Mondays’ mornings (to help you start your week well, to see that the world isn’t as bad and as scary as media show us) – on Instagram stories
🔸️ Motivational Mondays on Mondays’ afternoons (to help you boost your motivation and willpower to follow your dreams)
🔸️ Self-Love posts on Thursday (to make you take care of yourself! In that series I post recipes for homemade cosmetics, excercises to calm yourself down etc)
🔸️ Positive Movies Recommendation on Sundays (to make your weekend chill nice and positive!) – on Instagram only
🔸️ + healthy recipes from time to time, DIY tutorials, some group challenges for all of us (e.g. recently we did 21 Day Healthy Habits Challenge), recommendations of cool apps for learning or self-growth, some home tricks and plenty more on Ig Stories!
Come join our @smileysociety !
And tag a friend who might like it! 😊
We’ve already talked about common reasons of lack of motivation, we’ve learned how to set a goal and a deadline, now we need to get to know ourselves better in order to work better later on! 😉
In order to make yourself work/boost your motivation and will to get something done we need to establish what are your strenghts and weaknesses!
* what are you good at? 🤔
* what comes easy for you? 😉
* what do you feel powerful/strong at? 💪
* what do others appreciate in you? 🧐
Now think deep and name your weaknesses. It is important to know what we need to battle with and how to set your ‘Plan B’ for situations when you don’t feel the desire to follow your dreams.
So tell me:
* what do you struggle with? 🤔
* what kind of situations scare / overcome you? 😬
* what part of your character can become an obstacle in reaching your goal? 😶
* what weaknesses would your close ones name in you? 🤔
Write all of it down!
I promise you we will work on some excercises to boost your motivation soon but those steps before it are crucial in order to know what we actually need to work on!
What is your goal? What do you need motivation for? 🤔
We’ll get to tips/steps how to work on our willpower and how to boost our motivation soon but 1st we need to learn to set precise goals we want to reach and how to estimate deadline for it 😊
Do you know a SMART method of setting a goal?
A goal needs to be:
S – Specific – Provide enough detail so that you know exactly what you should be doing. For example, don’t set a goal like „I need to lose 10kg in 3 months”. Make it more „I need to start eating more vegetables and workout 4 times a week” 🥦💪. This is more doable and you have more control over it
M – Measurable – A measurable goal has an outcome that can be assessed as a hit or miss ✔❌. So e.g. you can easily check whether you worked out 4 times this week.
A – Achievable – An achievable goal has an outcome that is realistic given your current situation. Make sure you actually have the time 🕰 to e.g. workout 4 times a week. Don’t set such goal if you know you won’t make it.
R – Realistic – Start small. If you set your goal too high („I need to lose 10kg in a month”) there’s too big pressure and you will give up quickly if you won’t see results you’d want 🤔
T – Time Bound – Set a timeframe for the goal: „in three months”, „by six months”. Setting an end point for the goal gives you a clear target to achieve 🏁
Now how to set good time bound/deadline for it? 🤔
I recently learned that there actually is a mathematical formula for estimating a time that you need for some project and you can calculate it using the PERT Formula 🧐
The PERT estimate (E) is based on a formula that includes your optimistic time estimate (O), your most likely time estimate (M) and your pessimistic time estimate (P). The basic equation is this:
E = (O + 4M +P) / 6
So now go on set a goal and estimate the time you need to reach it!
I want to workout 4 times a week and start writing my 2nd book (+couple more). And my deadline is Oct 27th because we’re starting holidays then and going to…Mexico! 😊
So tell me, what are your goals? 😊
Time for new series! For next several weeks every Monday I’ll be uploading a post about motivation – what it is, how to gain it, how to keep it, some tips etc.
Here’s step 1 – what motivation actually is
Motivation is the process that initiates and guides goal-oriented behaviors. It is what causes you to act 😉.
Motivation devides into 2 types:
➡️ Extrinsic motivations – motivators that come from outside, could be some contests, awards etc but also social status or praise
➡️ Intrinsic motivations – motivators that come from within the individual, pure desire to self-evolve, to learn new things to be better just for you/for your health
Understanding how motivation actually works will help you improve the efficiency of your work, help you take action, help you feel in control and will improve your overall well-being and happiness 💪.
There are three major components of motivation: activation, persistence and intensity.
🔸️ Activation is about action, e.g. a decision to initiate some behavior, such as taking up new hobby, taking some class to learn a new skill
🔸️Persistence is about keeping the initial desire to achieve/get something, it is moving constantly forward towards your goal even through obstacles.
🔸️ Intensity is basically how hard you want to reach a goal, it is about your focus on it and vigor that goes into pursuing a dream.� For example, lets say that two people want to learn a new language. One will take couple classes until he/she knows the basics while another one is really focused on those classes but also does some extracurricular things like watching movies in this language to practice understanding it in hearing, reads some books in the foreign language, takes some quizes online etc. First person lacks the intensity ☺.
In the next couple of weeks we’ll learn more about how motivation works, how to boost each type and component of it and how to be more motivated and eager to work on your goal 😎.
Stay tuned and come back next Monday! 😁