Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 15

🧠SMILEY FUTURE🧠
— Step 15
Today we’re gonna talk about 3 mind traps which might weaken your willpower and your willingness to act:
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1.Thinking „everything or nothing”
Have you ever thought „I do everything from my ‘to do’ list or drop everything”?
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If yes, then you got into „everything or nothing” trap which can have huge impact on your actions and effects (or lack of them) 🤷🏼‍♀️
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Thinking like that you don’t see your failures as small errors that you can learn from, you see it as total failure and you might start withdrawing generalized conclusions about yourself like „I’ll never succeed”, „I’m a failure” etc. STOP! 🚫
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* If you get trapped into those thoughts write all of them down ✒ Then write a counterargument to each one of them. Get back to it when you have another „everything or nothing” moment.

2. Excessive pessimism or optimism
„If I haven’t succeeded in 1 year I’ll never succeed” – that’s excessive pessimism when you have only negative thoughts about your future 👎
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Excessive optimism is when you ignore your past attempts and previous experience and keep thinking that „this time will be different, it will be perfect” 🙄 For example, you wanted to workout regularly, you’ve had couple attempts at it and failed eaxh time but now you think that you’ll have the willpower and you’ll workout 6 times a week for 3 months 💪🙄
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* If you know what I’m talking about write all of  such examples down ✒. Now try to make each one of them more realistic e.g. „I’ll try to workout more regularly. I probably won’t be able to workout 6 times a week right away so I’ll workout 2 times this week, 3 times next week and keep improving”. :::
3. Exaggeration
You exaggerate all difficulties and make everything sound impossible. „I won’t make it”, „I never do anything right”. * If you do that write all of those thoughts down and write a counterargument to each one
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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow” 📸 pic taken in Italy in 2019

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 13

This is our last step of preparations and after that you’ll be ready to start reaching your goal! 😊
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Now we need to focus on your surroundings and people around you. You are already well prepared so now it’s time to let your close ones know that there will be changes/that you’ll e.g. have less free time etc.
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While focusing on your resolutions and goals you could forget that it would be good to also get your close ones ready. Why?
* You have a chance to present them your plan and to explain why your goal is important to  you and ask them for support 🤝
* Once you’ll tell them about your resolution you’ll feel bigger pressure and it will be harder for you to let go once some obstacles come or you’ll have a bad day 😉
* While talking to your close ones you’ll see their reactions and you’ll know if  you can count on them and have their support or the opposite 😉
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Unfortunately it happens that family or friends react on someone’s will to change with resistance or even anger. There are plenty stories of girls who decided to drop couch potato life and and start working out, eating healthy and they heard „You better stop because you’ll be anorectic”, „Are you crazy?” etc. 🙄
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Usually it comes from people who know that they should change something about their lives too and because they don’t want to do it, it is easier for them to denny it, sabotage positive changes in person next to them etc. 🙄 If you get those kind of reactions look for support in somebody else like me and other members of Smiley Society! 🤗
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But I do hope that you’ll get positive comments only.
Next week: What is willpower and how does it work
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Next week:
Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

📸 pic taken in Greece in 2015

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 12

🧠SMILEY FUTURE🧠
— Step 12
Preparations to start reaching our goal are coming to an end – we start in 2 steps! If you have started earlier I hope that those prepation steps inspire you to possible changes and make your chance for success bigger 💪
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After last long and big step today there’s much simpler and quicker one 😉. Answer only one question: What do you need to reach your goal? 🤔
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Take a moment to write all of those stuff down – from most simple ones to those more complicated, for example: new leggins, prescribed diet, better time management, support from others.
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Maybe during creating your plan or during process visualisation you’ve already realised what you’re missing?
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Use this step to try and get those things, to organize or find a solution you need.
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If you don’t come up with any solution remember I can help! You’re not alone, use Smiley Society support 😘
Next week: Prepare your surroundings
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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

📸 pic taken in 2016

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 11

You often hear that imagining success helps you get motivated. Research shows though that it is not imagining success that helps but visualisation of process so imagining the path that takes you to your goal 🏁
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The visualisation makes you practice in your mind the difficult path that awaits you and helps you get ready for its all steps.
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Depending on what works on you best, punishments or rewards, you can choose proces visualisation with a negative outcome (what happens when you don’t reach the goal) or with positive outcome (what happens when you do).
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* Simulation of process with positive outcome 👍
Imagine going shopping and you choose only healthy products. Imagine passing sweets section and not taking any 🚫. Imagine being at a party full of food and unhealthy snacks where everybody eats but you don’t. Imagine you working out and doing excercises that you like, e.g. swimming, riding a bike etc. You’ve reached your goal 💪 Imagine yourself thin with a beautiful body. Imagine walking into a party looking fabulous and having all people stare at you 🤩
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*Simulation of process with negavite outcome 👎and proces letting you avoid it
Imagine yourself fatter. Your favourite pants don’t fit because you put on weight 😳. Family and friends tell you that your overweight problem becomes more and more serious. You walk into a party and people look at you and gossip. You feel bad about yourself, you’re unhappy and you’re self-esteem drops 😞 Now imagine how you can avoid those situations. You buy only healthy stuff. You don’t overeat at a party. See with your imagination you working out 💪
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Those are examples from the research. Now think of your visualisations.
1. Decide whether you are more sensitive to punishments or to rewards 👍👎
2. Imagine the proces taking you to your goal (process of losing weight, looking for a better job etc.) – make sure to imagine specific situations 🧐
3. Write your visualisation down
Keep reading it and imagining the proccess several times a week 📝
Next week: What do  you need to reach your goal

Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

📸 Greece, 2015

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 10

🧠SMILEY FUTURE🧠
— Step 10
Implementation intention meaning how to implement your plan into life.
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Last week you created a plan of action based on your stenghts 💪 Today we’re gonna add your weakneses and obstacles that you may come upon to it. To make it all work you’re gonna need implementation intention but don’t worry, it’s a simple mechanism that is very effective!
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How does it work? Imagine  possible future scenarios that can be obstacles to reaching your goal and then find a solution for it. Later create (and write down!) a sentence: „If situation X happens, I’m gonna do Y” 😊
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Example: „If i’ll be eating out I’m gonna choose healthy and fit dish, for example a salad” 🥦. „If I won’t want to workout I’ll ask my close ones for support and cheering” 💪. „When I’ll be doing shopping I’ll go to a store with a prepared ‘to buy’ list” 🗒
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Creating  scenarios like this in your head is effective because it creates a connection between a situation/obstacle and your reaction to it. ⚠️ If a situation like this happens you won’t have to wonder what to do! You’ll work automatically because you’ve already excercised that scenario in your head 😉
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Making decisions (especially pushing temptations away 😅) requires a lot of energy from you and when you’re in a hurry or hungry you choose what’s easiest but not what’s best 🤔. You know what I’m talking about? Implementation intention is for those kind of situations!
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So let’s get to work! Try to think of as many situations in which you let go and lose your motivation. Find best reactions to them and write them down in „If situation X happens, I’m gonna do Y” scheme 😊
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Next week: Process visualisation

Source: @chodakowskaeka‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

📸 pic taken in Malta in 2016

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 9

🧠SMILEY FUTURE🧠 — Step 9
Creating plan based on your strenghts
In those difficult times we all need a bit of a break for your mind 🤯 Just sit down, relax and start creating your plan of action!
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You’ve been preparing it for the last 8 steps so I hope this will be easy and pleasant for you 😉
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I encourage you to write down how do you want to realize your goal (set in SMART method) with help of your strenghts from step 7 💪
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* What are you good at?
Example: I’m reliable. I always keep my promises.
Submission to the action plan: „I’ll make a pact with another person to workout togetherm then it’ll be easier for me to realise my training plan as I will want to be reliable to the other person”
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* What are you effective at? What kind of situations you feel biggest impact on?
Example: I’m very organised
Submission to the action plan: „I’ll organize a plan for a day/week this way so I’d have time for activities related to the goal – training, cooking, spending time with family, writing CV etc.”
That’s my way 🙋🏼‍♀️
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* If you’ve managed to establish who you can count on in your surroundings when it comes to realising your goal, somebody who has the knowledge and experience, turn to that person for an advice. Use the hints you get from him/her to make or change your plan. Be flexible and open to any hints you get. You know yourself best! How can you use somebody’s knowledge and experience?
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*Your life situation e.g. if your financial situation lets you buy training programs or a career consultation. Your family situation is important here too e.g. if you have small children maybe apart from husband your family or friends can help you find time to realise your goal? How will you use your life situation in your plan?
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I hope those examples showed you the essence of  today’s task – plan of action based on your strenghts. If you’ll get some comments while preparing this plan like what is difficult for you, what hardly ever works write them down, we’ll get back to them.
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Next week: How to use your weaknesses!

Source: @chodakowskaeka‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow” 📸 pic taken in China in 2012 (yes, that’s me 😅)

Be positive! · Self-evolving

Cherishing little things helps succeed

Do you cherish little things? Are you grateful for every small thing? I know I’ve already talked about it but it’s not only for being happier, it helps us with being successful too! 💪
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How?
When you learn to be happy about the little things you also learn to set smaller goals (because smaller goals will also make you happy due to lower expectations 😊). Once you set smaller goals it is easier for you to achieve them and it is easier for you to be consistent, to not give up hence to succeed 😎.
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For example, lets say you want to start a new business. Imagine that ideally you want to have 100 customers within 3 months but 3 months later you’re angry that it didn’t happen, you are frustrated with your dream and give up on the company 😡. Lower your expectations, be grateful for every single customer you get 🙏. Be happy about the 10th customer same way as you were happy about the 1st client you ever got.
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When you learn to do so it will be much easier for you to set yourself smaller goals and, believe me, it is way better to set smaller goals but more often than big goal that will only become a burden on your shoulders, you’ll be stressed and full of anxiety to fulfill it and basically unhappy 🤷🏼‍♀️.
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Do you understand what I mean?
I used to get panick attacks couple years ago. I was a wreck because I had enormous goals and this awfully big pressure (that I put on myself 🤦🏼‍♀️) to be big, to be someone. I wanted my book to be big, to be a bestseller, to have plenty people talk about it and out of 5000 that the publishing house printed only 600 got sold 💔.
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I was devastated but later on I kept thinking „wow, over half a thousand of people read my book!” 😳. Imagine a room with 600 people. It’s a lot of people!
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Of course in the end I still want to be big, I still want those big dreams to happen but instead of having 1 big dream and feeling stressed all the time I chose to change it into many small dreams (that in the end can become that one big dream when put together) and this way to be less stressed. I think it’s a healthy choise 😉
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Even physically it is easier to take couple small steps than do one big jump! 😉