Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 25

How did last excercise go? Did you manage to sincerely answer to the questions? 🤔 If you have you might’ve noticed that you can be too strict to yourself and today you’re gonna find out how to change it 🤗
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Remember last situation when you’ve made a mistake, a situation when you thought bad about yourself. Got it? What did you think of yourself then? What were you saying to yourself? 🤔
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Now imagine that you best friend, a relative, somebody close to you comes to you and tells you that she/he has had an identical situation and she/he is waiting for your reaction. What would you tell her/him? 😉
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Task for today: Compare what you say to yourself and what would you say to a person close to you in the same situatio 🤗

Next week: Learning without punishing yourself
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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 24

Today I want you to think about your attitude towards making mistakes 🤔. Don’t deny it, we all make them 😉.
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The question is – what do you do next with them 🤷🏼‍♀️? Do you think of yourself too negatively, too strictly, blame yourself 😞? Or maybe you can look at your mistakes as inseparable element of being human, learning, risking and trying new things 🤗?
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Do you know how to treat your mistakes as valuable lesson, how to withdraw conclussion and move on? 😉
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You’re probably wondering what does an attitude towards making mistakes has to do with strongwill 🧠? If you’re too strict to yourself because of mistakes or failures you’ll easily get into „everything or nothing” thinking (I told you about it in step 15). And this leads to giving up and letting the rest of the plan go 😞
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Task for today is  to think about that and answer questions below:
* How do you treat your mistakes?
* What do you think of them?
* What do you feel then?

Write your answers down 📝

Next week: Be good to yourself
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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 23

I strongly encourage you to constant observing 👀 what strengthens and what weakens your strongwill, training it and doing visualisations.
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In next steps you’re gonna look into a very important issue that I often see around me: excessive rigor and self-criticism 👇
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Do you know what I’m talking about? Does it apply to you? Do you focus on your mistakes, setbacks, defects and failures? Do you miss out on your advantages, achievements and successes? 🤔 When you do a  sum up at the end of a week/month/year what do focus on more? Failures 👎or successes👍?

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We all tend to notice negative and threatening affects of our lifes more. Our brain 🧠 works this way to catch potential danger as soon as possible and to prevent it.
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What’s more, if you’ve experienced rigor and excessive criticism at home or at school you might have a tendency of treating yourself same way 😟
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That’s why noticing positives is harder and requires more conscious effort.
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A task for today is to observe what do you concentrate on 📝
* Do you automatically focus attention on negative aspects? 🤔
* Does it apply to you or reality that surrounds you? 🤔
* What happens when you consciously try to redirect attention to what’s positive about you and what’s positive around you? 🤗
* Does anything change? 🤔
* How do you feel then? 🤔
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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”


P.s. Today is Father’s Day in Poland so I’m posting this special photo of my Dad and me! 🤗

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 22

Self-discipline is often mistaken with rigor. Today I encourage you to check whether you’re not too rigorous to yourself 😉. Answer those questions:
* How do you react when you make a mistake, get tempted or won’t do something that you should’ve? What do you feel then? What do you think of yourself? 🤔
* Do you tend to focus too much on your weaknesses and even punish yourself for doing something wrong? 🤔
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If you are too rigorous to yourself today’s task will be very important ⚠️.
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Being too rigorous to yourself boosts your stress level that brings many bad consequences and one of those is, if you remember,  weak self-control 🧠👎 And so it goes again and again.
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Task for today: reward yourself! 🏆😊 If you’re not doing it yet think of some reward system.
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Start with complementing yourself for every tiny success 🤗 Write down all the compliments you’d like to hear and use them for every little accomplishment. Everyday 😉! Here’s couple examples: „Well done”, „You’re going great!”, „Good job!”, „Keep going!”…
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Another step of aware rewarding yourself is making a reward system and rewarding yourself e.g. once a week or at the end of every stage of reaching goal 😉
Next week: How do you manage your attention?
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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 21

How’s your training willpower going? 💪 Any progress?
Today we’re gonna learn how to refill reserve of willpower.
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Think what is the source of your „I desire” power” – come back to where it all started so to your motivation 🤩. If you’ve been taking notes it would be helpful to look through notes you took during our first steps, especially when we’ve been setting goal using SMART method. Remember? We did that in step 6.
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Try to recall why is this goal important to you.
Those questions might help:
* What will you gain when you accomplish your current challenge? Will you reach your goal? Write down all benefits – those small ones and big ones, more and less obvious 😉
* Who else, apart from you, will gain when you succeed? Often our close ones are big motivation to us. Write down all benefits 🤗
Next week: Reward yourself!
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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 20

As I have mentioned before, psychogists compare willpower to a muscle 💪 so they imply that we can train it and that it has its limits.
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Just like muscles our self-control can also get…tired 😪. And that’s the moment when we often think that we no longer have the power and give up 🤷🏼‍♀️
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I am sure you know this feeling – you e.g. do a squat or a plank, you are supposed to keep it for 30 seconds, muscles burn like crazy and it’s only 14, 15, 16 seconds… A thought appears in your mind „I won’t make it, I am tired, I am not strong enough!” 😫. You are facing a challenge then – either let it go and stop the excercise earlier or force yourself to check if you’re maybe stronger than you think..💪
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Willpower works exactly the same! Next time when you face such situation try to get through first feeling of tiredness. Don’t give up straight away, you might find out that despite that tiredness you still have plenty energy and more willpower that you’ve assumed. 😉
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Be careful – you can also overtrain your willpower. If you feel overwhelming tiredness that doesn’t go away don’t push yourself to exhaustion ⚠️. Get some rest, regenerate and then try again 😇.
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If you feel tired all the time you should think what’s the cause of that. Maybe stress, lack of sleep, Hypothyroidism? 🤔 Reasons of that can be plenty so if you often feel tired don’t ignore it ⚠️ Next week: Source of your „I desire” power
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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 19

In previous step we’ve establilshed what can weaken your willpower, today we’re gonna talk how to empower it! 💪
Let’s try doing willpower training, shall we?
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How does it work if comparing willpower to a muscle is metaphorical? 🤔 The key to successful willpower training is noting, which you will do in a second, and chosing what’s harder for you. It is about creating a habit of stoping  to make right decision that brings you closer to your goal 😌.
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There are 3 ways to train your willpower. They refer to 3  powers: „I don’t want to”, „I desire” and automonitoring.
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Method 1: Improve your „I don’t want to” power. Chose one of your small bad habits that you’d like to change/eliminate like overusing some word, sitting wrong or anything else 😊
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Method 2: Improve your „I desire” power. Promise to yourself that you’ll start doing 1 thing a day that brings you closer to your goal (that you haven’t been doing before). It can be working out, drinking 1,5l of water a day, self-care ritual etc 😊
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Method 3: Improve automonitoring. Consciously observe something that you usually pay attention to and which is important to reach your goal, e.g. monitor what you eat (and what you snack between meals! 😉), what do you spend money on, how much time do you spend with your close ones etc. 😊
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It is important that you find small ways for practicing your self-control 🧠. Remember that willpower works like muscle and you can also overtrain it ⚠️. Don’t throw yourself in the deep end, start slowly, start small. 😉
Which method will you start with?
Next week: Willpower vs tiredness
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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”
P.s. It is Mother’s Day today in Poland 😊💕 and I’m gonna see my Mom finally today after almost 4 months

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 18

Do you know that willpower is a part of our intincts? 🤔 Last week we talked about „fight or flight” response and today we’re gonna talk about „pause-and-plan response” – my favourite 😉
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This mechanism stops an arousal in our body (the one we feel e.g. when seeing a cake 🤤) and increases the amount of the energy that goes into your mind 🧠. Prefrontal cortex, a part of our brain that is responsible for controlling impulses and planning, starts to work harder 💪. It shares an information with other parts of the mind: Launching self-control! Thanks to it we can take deep breath, stop with a hand on a bag of chips, think and…put it down 😉
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Now the good news – not only is self-control a strong instinct like „fight or flight” reaction but you can actually help launching it! 😊 There is an easy, free and accessible for everybody way to do it – the key is to learn to breathe properly. That’s right, breathe. 💨
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In order to improve your willpower slow down the rhythm of your breathing, do 4-6 breaths in a minute 🙏. Try to make each one last 10-15 seconds. But don’t hold your breath (it will only make you feel stressed!) but slowly make each inhale and exhale longer. It is easier to start with prolonging your exhale first. Make sure to exhale all out, this way it is easier to take deep breath in.
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It requires practicing so don’t get mad when you don’t get that rhythm right away. The more you practice the better! 😉
Next week: Empowering your willpower :::
Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 17

Today’s step is a bit long but it is SO important in everyday life ⚠️
How big impact does stress have on willpower? In order to answer that question I’ll tell you about „fight 👊 or flight ✈ response”. It is a physiological reaction when seeing danger that’s been protectin people for centuries from deadly threats.
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How does it work? 🤷🏼‍♀️ Let’s say you’ve noticed a venomous snake on your path. A part of your brain called amygdala reacts instantly and it prepares your body to fight or run away. The secretion of stress hormones increases, liver releases fats and sugars giving organism energy, lungs start to work faster to oxygenate body, the blood circulation accelerates (that’s why heart start to beat so fast!) to deliver needed substances to all cells. Basically whole organism is mobilizing for you to have best shot to survive 💪. In order not to delay your reactions the activity of the prefrontal cortex, so the part of your brain that is responsible for controlling impuleses, decreases ⬇️
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What does it mean? Stress physically decreases your ability to self-control ⚠️
Brain still works in the same way as if you were standing in front of a venomous snake and it starts fight or flight reaction. E.g. when you see an annoying e-mail from your boss 😉. That’s why it is so important to learn to deal with stress!
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Task for today divides into 3 parts:
1. Try relaxation. Lie down or sit down in a comfortable position 🧘🏼‍♀️, close your eyes, take deep breath and let your body loose muscle by muscle 🙏.
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2. Answer those questions:
· What do you think about stress and its affect on your life?
· How do you rate your stress level?
· Do  you think of the stress that you experience as bad stress 👎or good stress 👍?
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3. Watch short Ted talk with Kelly McGonigal „How to make stress your friend” – so good! 😍
Next week: Improve your willpower by breathing :::
Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

Self-evolving · Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 16

I’ve got good news for you – willpower can be trained! 💪 It is often treated like something you either have or don’t but psychology researches show that you can train your strong will just like your muscles. And nobody was born with a 6-pack, right? 😉
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It is great news because those who aren’t scrupulous naturally can train it 💪. You’ve actually already started it with implementation intention (step 10) and by process visualisation (step 11) 😉
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Since willpower works like a muscle it has limited source of energy and strength. There are things that empower it 👍 but there are also things that weaken it 👎.
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Your goal is to get to know and, if possible, remove your obstacles to having strong will 😎. Those most basic ones are stress, tiredness and lack of sleep. It seems so simple, right? 🤷🏼‍♀️ Yet you do not always see the connection between those factors and your willpower.
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Task for today: Observe and write down (or analyze past experiences if you’re calm and rested today) how stress and tiredness have impact on your willpower:
* What situations are those?
* What happens then?
* How do you react?
* Is it harder for you to stick to your goal?
* Do you have any ways to help yourself and not to be tempted (turn your „I don’t want to” power on) or to do something that you don’t feel like doing (turn your „I want to” power)? Next week: Stress vs willpower (next week Smiley Future will be on Wednesday!)

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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”