Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 44

Have you managed to notice your sabotaging thoughts? 🧐 If yes – great! I hope you’ve written them down because today we’re gonna look for a way to fight them! 👊🏻
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Task for today: for each sabotaging thought create a supporting thouht or helpful recreation 🤗. Now you’ll be able to not only notice a sabotaging thought but to stop and choose how you wanna react❗. Will you accept what the sabotaging thought is telling you or will you, thanks to previously prepared supporting thought or helpful recreation, choose another solution? 🤩
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Working on sabotaging thoughts makes you aware of your choices and you no longer will work or react automatically. 🤗
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Take a pen, piece of paper and write down your sabotaging thoughts and some helpful answer to them! 📝
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Next week: Defeat your sabotaging thoughts
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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 43

As you my remember from last week’s step sabotaging thoughts are on a subconscious level and are often irrational 🤔. Don’t judge them but also don’t ignore them – take them seriously. Even if they seem silly, weird or without any sense to you carefully look into them 🧐
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Why is it worth to do it? Here are couple reasons:
🔶️Sabotaging thoughts can:
➡️ Bring down your self-confidence
➡️ Let you reject knowledge, good advices or hints from others
➡️ Increase general stress level (and that weakens your strong will! Remember step 17?)
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That’s why task for today is: keep observing your sabotaging thoughts (and when you notice them, write them down! 📝) while remembering to be good to yourself! 😉
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Next week: Create your helpful recreation
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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 42

Does it happen to you sometimes that you do something automatically and then you think why did it happen like that and you complain on lack of motivation and strong will? 🧐
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If yes, then next couple steps are for you as we will be working on catching automatic thoughts that sabotage your effort ⚠️
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Before every action (or resignation of acting) some thoughts appear 🤔. They often appear on a subconcious level so we might not notice them and that’s why we tend to think that they’re „stronger” than us 🤷🏼‍♀️.
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Today I encourage you to look deeper at thoughts that sabotage your effort 🧐. Try observing them while you’re fighting with some temptation or you feel like resigning from some important activity (e.g. workout). What do you notice? What happens then? 🤔 Write down what thoughts you observe 📝 and everytime, no matter how irrational or hard to accept they might be, congratulate yourself 👏! It is hard work on yourself so it is very important that you appreciate you for doing it! 🤗
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What are your thoughts that usually sabotage your goal?
Mine is usually: „I don’t feel like it”, „I’m too tired” or „I don’t know exactly how to do it” 🤷🏼‍♀️
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Next week: Know your sabotaging thoughts
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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 36

Today we continue the subject of lost motivation 🔽. If the reason of your motivation dropping is a change of circumstances, some difficult situation, be flexible with it! 😉
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Life often surprises us and it is possible that the reality is different than when you’ve set your goal and formed a plan of action 🤷🏼‍♀️.
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That’s why when reality brings you new challenges grab a pen and update your plan! ✒
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Turn your favourite music on 🎶, make yourself a nice cup of tea ☕ and do today’s task: prepare a new plan (remember our SMART method? 🤔 Go back to step 6), new implementation intentions (step 10) and process visualisation (step 11).
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Instead of dropping  everything and quiting be flexible and adjust your plan to new reality 😉
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Your new plan:
S – Specific – what exactly do you want to accomplish? 🤩
M – Measurable – how will you know you’ve achieved your goal? 🤔
A – Achievable/Atractive – why is this goal important to you? 🧐
R – Realistic – are you able to reach it? 😅
T – Time Bound – by when will you reach it? 🕰
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Write down your implementation intentions.
And remember, something done is better than something perfect (but in your head) 😉!
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Next week: Lost motivation – an excercise
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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 32

Do you happen to think of yourself as lazy? 🤪 Are you lazy though? 🤔 Or maybe you’re just procrastinating – constantly postponing things that need to be done to the very last second? 🤷🏼‍♀️
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How is it different from being lazy? Lazy people like the state of not doing anything and they feel good about that 😝 while those who procrastinate feel bad about not having done something, they feel guilty and suffer because of that 😫
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Task for today: check if the problem of procrastinating concerns you as well 🧐
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Answer those questions:
🔸️Do you often can’t get to do something, can’t force yourself to work on something that is important to you and you end up not doing it at all? 🤷🏼‍♀️

🔸️Do you often wait for the „perfect” moment to start some important project and you keep postponing it? 😏

🔸️Do you happen to delay realization of some important task by doing some other important (but not crucial) things? 🙄

🔸️Does it often happen that you can’t start some important to you task and you end up feeling stressed and/or scared after that? 😟

🔸️Does it often happen to you that you start working on something that is important to you (e.g. going on a diet, starting writing a book etc) but you quickly interrupt it and never come back to it? 🤷🏼‍♀️
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If you’ve answered „YES” ✔ to 3 or more questions next steps might be very useful to you 😉. We’ll think of some possible reasons of constant postponing important things for later 🤔
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Next week: Fear of failure
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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 31

Do you know that saying „out of sight, out of mind”? 🤔 Turns out that scientific researches prove that wisdom when it comes to fighting temptation and empowering willpower! 💪
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Good healthy mindset probably already suggests you that it is easier not to eat sweets when you don’t have them around in the house 😉
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Brian Wansink, american psychologist learning about eating behaviour did an interesting research with James E. Painter that he describes in his book „Mindless Eating” 🧐
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Gentlemen gave their secretaries chocolates 🍫 on Secretaries week in some office. Some of the sweets were in a box with  a see-through lid where they could see all the chocolates 👀 and some of the sweets were in a normal not see-through box where the content of the box stayed hidden 📦.
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What do you think, which chocolates tempted more to be eaten? 😅 Of course those with a see-through lid 🤷🏼‍♀️. Women that could see the chocolates were tempted 71% times more! 😱😳 They were reaching for chocolates 7,7 times a day while those women who had „hidden” chocolates reached for them only 4,6 times a day.
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You see? Out of sight out of mind 🤗
So here’s your task for today: get rid of all the temptations in your house 😉. Not only sweets but maybe some stuff that you spend too much time on while you could spend the time working on your dreams like PS games or your Netlix account? 🤷🏼‍♀️ Think about it. You don’t have to throw them away/delete them but you can maybe lend those games to your friend or ask your friend to change your password to your Netflix account 😉
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What do you think?  Would that help you?

Next week: Procrastination so constant postponing doing things that need to be done – test
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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 30

Today we continue subject of deferring gratification. If, after last week’s task, you already know that it brings you problems I have good news for you: you can practice the ability to defer gratification (so self-control) 🤗.
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This exercise is from Kelly McGonigqal’s book „The Willpower Instinct”:
It appears that 10 minutes is not a long time to wait for something we want 🕰. Neurologists however discovered that it has great impact on how your brain processes the vision of reward 🤔.
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If inatant gratification is supposed to come after 10 minutes then our brain sees it as future benefit ➡️. Then the system that processes the promise of a reward calms down and strong biological impulse to instant consummation weakens ⬇️.
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Our brain comparing a cookie that we have to wait 10 minutes for 🍪 with a long-term benefit like losing weight 💪 stops leaning towards promised reward that much. In the instant gratification it is the ‘instant’ part that seduces our brain and changes our preferences 🧠
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In order for your brain to think straight make a decision to always wait 10 minutes before you succumb to temptation 😉. If after 10 minutes you still want it, take it. Before the time passes though try to think of long-term benefits you’ll get for resisting temptation. If it’s possible, try also creating some physical or visual distance.
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If your challenge for willpower requires using „I want” strenght (so doing something you don’t feel like doing) you can also use „10 minutes rule” to help you resist the temptation of delaying necessary actions and to force yourself a bit to do them 😉.
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Try making it „do it for 10 minutes, then you can stop”. Let yourself stop working after 10 minutes – it might turn out that as you already had started you will want to continue 😉
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Try making that excercise and write down your results. „10 miutes rule” might work great when you  don’t feel like working out! 💪😁

Next week: How to fight temptation!
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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 29

Please read and let me know if it sounds familiar 😉

You’re standing in front of a bakery and you see a yummy cookie 🤤. Your friend brings donuts to work 😍. You feel lilke joining your husband and watch TV instead of working out 📺.
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Your brain demands a reward here and now! 🏆. You forget about your goal and all the reasons why you wanted to achieve it. You succumb to temptation… 😞
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Or maybe…?
With your last remains of strongwill you step away from bakery 🤚, you leave dounts from friend somewhere out of sight 🚫, you leave husband in front of TV and you walk into another room to workout and on your way there you remind yourself that each workout gets you closer to your dream body 💪.
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The ability to postpone pleasures or rewards is called ‘deferring gratification’ in psychology 🧠. It is crucial to realize long-distance goals because it helps you not to succumb to temptation each time but to resist because of you goal that is somewhere in the future 😎.
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Why is it so hard to defer gratification? Because seeing temptation or reward instantly launches more primitive and oldest part of our brain demanding gratification right away 🤯. Luckily we also have prefrontal cortex (part of our brain) that can cool that instant rush and demand down because it is responsible for controlling our impulses 🤚.
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Task for today: think how deferring gratification looks in your case 🤔
In what situations is it easier or more difficult to you? 🤔
What helps you defer gratification? 🧐
What makes deferring gratification hard or impossible to you? 🤨

Next week: Deferring gratification – excercise
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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 28

How do you relax? 😉
Today’s last part of „Be good to yourself” series.
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Do you remember when we talked about factors that weaken your strong will? 🤔 It was stress and tiredness and lately we’ve been talking a lot about the danger of treating yourself badly and punishing (and getting into a trap of „everything or nothing” thinking” ⚠️).
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That’s why sometimes in order to rebuild and strengthen strong will you need rest, regeneration and pleasures that will give you energy and motivation to work 🤗.
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Task for today: Make a list of your ways of relax and pleasures. It is important so that they wouldn’t be contradictory to your goal (so e.g. don’t write on your list „eating huge pizza” or „eating chocolate cookies”  when your goal is to eat healthy 😉).
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It might be an evening with a good book 📖 or a movie 🎬, talk or meeting with a friend 💬, relaxing bath 🛀, walk around the neighbourhood 🏞, playing with dog 🐶, relaxing yoga session etc. 🧘🏼‍♀️
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So what are your ways to relax? Tell me! 😊

Next week: Sometimes it’s better to postpone
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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 27

What’s the difference between punishment and self-discipline? 🤔 Perhaps you’ve already asked yourself that on our last step about punishing yourself. How to distinguish it? 🧐
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You don’t want to be too strict but on the other hand you need self-discipline so as not to spend the rest of your life living lazily and letting everything go and not reaching any goals 😉.
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Do you know that the word „discipline” means in latin knowledge, giving orders, teaching? 👨🏻‍🎓 As you see it has nothing to do with punishment, right? 😊
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Authors of many books about discipline emphasize that it comes from constant attempts. You fail, you get up wiser and move on 💪. Self-discipline is an effect of your effort and not giving up on next attempts.
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While main task of the punishment is to scare, it only teaches us what to avoid, brings tension, and often, fear and anger 🤢.
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I hope that you see now the difference and as to be good to yourself you’ll start liking self-discipline and avoid punishing 🤗
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How to distinguish them in practice? Common ground of those two often is the will to avoid some activity. Sometimes we need to force ourselves to do something that is beneficial to us (e.g. working out).
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How can we know if our forcing is a part of self-discipline or punishment? 🤔
If you’re not sure think of a situation when you really don’t feel like doing something and answer couple questions:
*Sitation:
*What do you feel then? 🤔
*Is my body tense or loose? Do I clutch my jaw, feel tension in my arms? 😓
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If you feel a lot of tension, anger or fear and negative thoughts about yourself pop into your head it is probably closer to punishment than to self-discipline. You’ll recognize self-discipline when you’ll  be easily able to say why activity that you’re trying to force yourself to is good and beneficial to you 🤗

Nexy week: Learn to rest
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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”