Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 29

Please read and let me know if it sounds familiar 😉

You’re standing in front of a bakery and you see a yummy cookie 🤤. Your friend brings donuts to work 😍. You feel lilke joining your husband and watch TV instead of working out 📺.
:::
Your brain demands a reward here and now! 🏆. You forget about your goal and all the reasons why you wanted to achieve it. You succumb to temptation… 😞
:::
Or maybe…?
With your last remains of strongwill you step away from bakery 🤚, you leave dounts from friend somewhere out of sight 🚫, you leave husband in front of TV and you walk into another room to workout and on your way there you remind yourself that each workout gets you closer to your dream body 💪.
:::
The ability to postpone pleasures or rewards is called ‘deferring gratification’ in psychology 🧠. It is crucial to realize long-distance goals because it helps you not to succumb to temptation each time but to resist because of you goal that is somewhere in the future 😎.
:::
Why is it so hard to defer gratification? Because seeing temptation or reward instantly launches more primitive and oldest part of our brain demanding gratification right away 🤯. Luckily we also have prefrontal cortex (part of our brain) that can cool that instant rush and demand down because it is responsible for controlling our impulses 🤚.
:::
Task for today: think how deferring gratification looks in your case 🤔
In what situations is it easier or more difficult to you? 🤔
What helps you defer gratification? 🧐
What makes deferring gratification hard or impossible to you? 🤨

Next week: Deferring gratification – excercise
:::
Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 26

Do you ever punish yourself? For eating something that you shouldn’t have, skipping training, making mistake…? 🤔
:::
I know that this topic isn’t pleasant but if it does happen I highly encourage you to work on it 💪.
:::
Have a look how you find reaching your goal. Do you find it as a war – with yourself, external obstacles? 🤔 If yes then there’s risk that you’ll end up in an eternal fight with yourself and you’ll see every mistake as losing 😫. What comes next you might be even punishing yourself with bad words like „I am horrible”, strict refusing any small awards/pleasures or doing something as a punishment 😖
:::
So as strongwill wouldn’t break down and your desire/fighting for your goal would become a part of your everyday life, part of your lifestyle you need: patience, indulgence and will to act which doesn’t come with permament tension and fear of losing.
:::
Task for today: instead of treating realising your goal as a fight or „good” and „bad” actions try to look at it as a process of learning 🤓.
:::
You know those cute videos on YouTube of little kids learning how to walk? 😍 They fall down, get up and keep trying again and again – often with a smile on their faces! 🤗 Mistakes and slips are inseparable part of learning anything. And making new habits is nothing but learning.
:::
Try reformulating critical thoughts to a thought beneficial to learning. E.g. instead of telling yourself „I am lazy because I didn’t work out” it could be „I found out about myself that if I don’t work out in the morning I am too tired after work. I’ll rearrange my plan of a day.”
:::
Now write another examples down so you could use them in the future.
Critical thought:
Thought beneficial to learning:

Next week: Distinguish punishment from self-discipline

:::
Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 13

This is our last step of preparations and after that you’ll be ready to start reaching your goal! 😊
:::
Now we need to focus on your surroundings and people around you. You are already well prepared so now it’s time to let your close ones know that there will be changes/that you’ll e.g. have less free time etc.
:::
While focusing on your resolutions and goals you could forget that it would be good to also get your close ones ready. Why?
* You have a chance to present them your plan and to explain why your goal is important to  you and ask them for support 🤝
* Once you’ll tell them about your resolution you’ll feel bigger pressure and it will be harder for you to let go once some obstacles come or you’ll have a bad day 😉
* While talking to your close ones you’ll see their reactions and you’ll know if  you can count on them and have their support or the opposite 😉
:::
Unfortunately it happens that family or friends react on someone’s will to change with resistance or even anger. There are plenty stories of girls who decided to drop couch potato life and and start working out, eating healthy and they heard „You better stop because you’ll be anorectic”, „Are you crazy?” etc. 🙄
:::
Usually it comes from people who know that they should change something about their lives too and because they don’t want to do it, it is easier for them to denny it, sabotage positive changes in person next to them etc. 🙄 If you get those kind of reactions look for support in somebody else like me and other members of Smiley Society! 🤗
:::
But I do hope that you’ll get positive comments only.
Next week: What is willpower and how does it work
:::
Next week:
Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

📸 pic taken in Greece in 2015

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 12

🧠SMILEY FUTURE🧠
— Step 12
Preparations to start reaching our goal are coming to an end – we start in 2 steps! If you have started earlier I hope that those prepation steps inspire you to possible changes and make your chance for success bigger 💪
:::
After last long and big step today there’s much simpler and quicker one 😉. Answer only one question: What do you need to reach your goal? 🤔
:::
Take a moment to write all of those stuff down – from most simple ones to those more complicated, for example: new leggins, prescribed diet, better time management, support from others.
:::
Maybe during creating your plan or during process visualisation you’ve already realised what you’re missing?
:::
Use this step to try and get those things, to organize or find a solution you need.
:::
If you don’t come up with any solution remember I can help! You’re not alone, use Smiley Society support 😘
Next week: Prepare your surroundings
:::
Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

📸 pic taken in 2016

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 11

You often hear that imagining success helps you get motivated. Research shows though that it is not imagining success that helps but visualisation of process so imagining the path that takes you to your goal 🏁
:::
The visualisation makes you practice in your mind the difficult path that awaits you and helps you get ready for its all steps.
:::
Depending on what works on you best, punishments or rewards, you can choose proces visualisation with a negative outcome (what happens when you don’t reach the goal) or with positive outcome (what happens when you do).
:::
* Simulation of process with positive outcome 👍
Imagine going shopping and you choose only healthy products. Imagine passing sweets section and not taking any 🚫. Imagine being at a party full of food and unhealthy snacks where everybody eats but you don’t. Imagine you working out and doing excercises that you like, e.g. swimming, riding a bike etc. You’ve reached your goal 💪 Imagine yourself thin with a beautiful body. Imagine walking into a party looking fabulous and having all people stare at you 🤩
:::
*Simulation of process with negavite outcome 👎and proces letting you avoid it
Imagine yourself fatter. Your favourite pants don’t fit because you put on weight 😳. Family and friends tell you that your overweight problem becomes more and more serious. You walk into a party and people look at you and gossip. You feel bad about yourself, you’re unhappy and you’re self-esteem drops 😞 Now imagine how you can avoid those situations. You buy only healthy stuff. You don’t overeat at a party. See with your imagination you working out 💪
:::
Those are examples from the research. Now think of your visualisations.
1. Decide whether you are more sensitive to punishments or to rewards 👍👎
2. Imagine the proces taking you to your goal (process of losing weight, looking for a better job etc.) – make sure to imagine specific situations 🧐
3. Write your visualisation down
Keep reading it and imagining the proccess several times a week 📝
Next week: What do  you need to reach your goal

Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

📸 Greece, 2015