Key to good, positive relationships is effective communication 🙏.
Effective communication is always about understanding the other person, not about winning an argument or forcing your opinions on others 😉. To improve your assertiveness: value yourself and your options. They are as important as anyone else’s. Know your needs and wants.
Don’t say what you don’t want, say what you prefer.
Don’t say what you don’t like, say what you like.
Don’t say what you haven’t managed to do, say what are the options.
Examples of effective communication:
➡️ Instead of saying „I don’t like it when you…” say: „I feel better when you…
➡️ Instead of saying „it’s not how you do it!” say: „Have you tried this way?”
➡️ Instead of saying „I don’t want to…” say: „I’d like it more if…”
Do you see the difference?
Recently I’ve been thinking about people that I have in my life. I am one of those people that would like to keep in touch with all the people I’ve ever met – with people from primary school, college, from the time when I lived abroad, with people I met at some holidays or parties… but it’s just not possible.
Building relationships and taking care of them takes time. You can work on a relationship for years and then lose it in 1 week/month. 💔
So if you have somebody in your life that you’d want to have forever – take care of that person and of your relationship. Don’t let him/her go. 🙏
Use this magical time now we have now and take care of the people you want to keep in your life – buy some small gift for them 🎁, send a Christmas card 🎄 or just call them with best wishes 💫
We need to cherish good people that we have close to us and make them feel loved and appreciated 🙏
Look deep into my eyes. What do you see? Confidence! 😎
I’ve learned a lot this year and I feel that I’ve grown as a person.
This year I finally accepted myself as I am 👍 I stopped feeling sorry for being the way I am and I’ve been encouraging people to understand that we are all different and you can’t meassure or judge everything with same standards/meassurements 🤷🏼♀️
For example, I am an analytical kind of person 🧐. I analyze lots of things, I plan lots of things, I need to have an order in everything and have everything organized 🤪. I feel calm when I have everything written down and everything planned 😇.
But e.g. my husband is not like that 🤷🏼♀️. So whenever he wanted to do something spontaneous together or plan some evening for me I felt nervous (Don’t get me wrong, I do get spontaneous from time to time but not when I have a busy week – e.g. preparing everything for an Advent Calendar 😜)
It took some time but he now understands that this is how I want things 🤗
But it works both ways! I used to be mad at him for not planning ahead or for not being orgnized. But that’s just how he is 🤷🏼♀️. He doesn’t need unnatural order in everything as I do. I used to be mad that he doesn’t remember me telling him something but his memory just isn’t as good as mine or, actually, it is as good but he just remembers different things 🤷🏼♀️ – I have good memory for facts, plans, for details and he remembers every movie and a last name of pretty much every person he’s ever met! 😅 We’re just different!
We are all different and we all want different things. Don’t judge somebody for not wanting something you want or for having something you find unappealing 🤷🏼♀️
Don’t feel sorry for a woman that has been single her whole life, maybe she wants to be alone? 😉 Talk, listen. Stop looking weird at a married couple that doesn’t have kids – maybe they don’t want traditional Graduate-Get Married-Have Kids lifestyle. Talk, listen. 😉
Stop looking at people through your own opinions and your own character. Maybe something that drives you crazy is good for another person? 🤷🏼♀️
Do you know what’s key to good relationship?
And it’s not only about love relationships, it’s important to make any kind of relationship work – a friendship, a relation you have with your daughter, mom, neighbour, coworker. Anybody.
We are ALL different. And nobody sits in your head, nobody reads your mind, believe me 😉. So when you don’t like something, when you need help with something you need to COMMUNICATE.
Plenty woman (I used to be one of them) think that if they send „signals” to their partner he’ll know what she needs/means 😅 That if she says something between the lines about a movie she’d like to watch or talk about her friend’s new cosmetics he’ll instantly get the idea to take you to cinema to see that movie and he’ll buy those cosmetics for you 😅 No, this doesn’t work with men.
Men and women work totally differently and so do our minds! You need to be loud and clear 😉
It works like that with everybody. If you’re angry with your boss because he/she gives you so much work tell him/her politely (!) that you’re swamped and ask if he/she can maybe get one of your co-workers to help you, to divide some big task between 2-3 people, not just 1 🤷🏼♀️
If you’re frustrated with your friend because he keeps inviting you to places you don’t like or wants to do something you’re not fan of – tell him. He simply might not know that you don’t like it! I’m sure he doesn’t do it to make you angry, he’s just anaware of your negative feelings. Why? Because you’ve never told him that you e.g. don’t like bowling or eating at that Thai restaurant. 😉
LET HIM KNOW.
We all need to talk more. Say what we think out loud. Don’t keep your thought or feelings to yourself. But remember, if it’s something negative think how to communicate it to your friend to not hurt his feelings 🙏. We should always be sincere and if you don’t like something you should say it but do it gently.
📸 pic taken in Zakhyntos in 2017
HAPPY 1ST ANNIVERSARY TO US! ❤💑 (it was 3 days ago)
Do you believe in fate or coincidence?
I believe that every day we learn something and every little moment creates our personality.
I keep thinking how pretty random all my relationships are. E.g. I met my best friends via an online forum for fans of a rock band but I found out about this forum through a leaflet that was handed to me on a day when I wasn’t supposed to go out 😅
+ I got to know this band thanks to my good friend and I got to know this man that is a good friend of mine now by walking into a random pub years ago 🤷🏼♀️
I met my husband online and it turned out that he had been living in a flat that my friend used to live in just before him! Later it turned out that we have many mutual friends, even our families knew each other (my dad had known my husband’s uncle for years; my husband’s cousin was my cousin’s classmate etc etc) and it is actually weird that we haven’t met each other sooner.
I believe in those signs. I believe that we were supposed to meet.
I believe that every small decision we make is important on how our life turns out. Something like in „Butterfly Effect” or „Mr Nobody” – love those movies!
In 2013 I decided to move out to London. I bought a one-way ticket, packed my whole room and couple weeks later after I graduated University I moved. Just like that.
Then after over a year I decided to come back to Poland. It was quite spontaneous. Later I regretted that I came back but if I haven’t I wouldn’t publish my book, I wouldn’t meet my husband etc. But at the same time if I wouldn’t had moved out to London at all I wouldn’t have become more open, more curagous and wouldn’t have got lots of wisedom I got by living by myself in a foreign country.
This was supposed to happen and it created the person that I am today.
I believe that every day and every person that we meet leaves a sign in ourselves.
Do you agree? Tell me your story of a random choice you made that changed a lot in your life.
📸 fot. Paulina Owad
It is now scientifically proven that healthy relationships 👫🏼 (both love ones and with friends and family) is the most important factor of being happy AND a key to a long life ⚠️⚠️⚠️ (yes, people live longer when they have good relationships).
Look around you and see who do you spend time with. Think if your friends really are your friends. Can you count on them?
Do you have a partner? Are you happily in love? Does she/he believe in you? Help you?
Life is too short to be around people who bring negative vibes into your life! Get rid of those prople and exclude them from your life. Don’t „be friends” with someone who doesn’t believe in you, who doesn’t have your back. This is not a friend! True friend will always be on your side, will always be there for you and will believe in you on matter what. Look for those kind of people!
It is so important to have someone like that! 😊
And same with a partner. Your wife/husband needs to belive in you, support you, be there for you not only in good times but especially in bad times. 🤗
I am SO lucky to have a friend in my husband. We keep saying that what is most important in our relationship is that we like each other. Not just love but like each other as another person. 💓
+ He takes care of me everyday 😊❤
It is 3 years that we are together (seems so much longer!) and we’ve been already living together for 2.5 years and been married for 10 months! 💑
Thank you for those 3 amazing years baby! ❤❤❤
P.S. MARLA is our nickname as a couple – MARcin + poLA