Motivational Mondays

MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY – STEP 11: Deferring gratification

What ability do you need to learn/practice in order to empower your strong will and be able to stand up, take that first step and go work on your dreams/projects when you don’t feel like it? 🤔
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Please read and let me know if it sounds familiar 🧐. Your friend brings cake to work and you can’t resist. You feel lilke dropping everything and taking an evening off to watch TV instead of work (and you keep doing that everyday)…
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Your brain 🧠 demands a reward here and now! You forget about your goal and all the reasons why you wanted to achieve it. You succumb to temptation…🤭😜
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Or maybe…? With your last remains of strongwill you leave that cake from friend somewhere out of sight, you turn TV off and and work on your dreams thinking thay each hour spent working gets you closer to your goal 💪.
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The ability to postpone pleasures or rewards is called ➡️ ‘deferring gratification’ ⬅️ in psychology. It is crucial to realize long-distance goals because it helps you not to succumb to temptation each time 😉.
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Why is it so hard to defer gratification? Because seeing temptation or reward instantly launches more primitive and oldest part of our brain demanding gratification right away 😬. Luckily we also have prefrontal cortex (part of our brain 🧠) that can cool that instant rush because it is responsible for controlling our impulses .
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Task for today 📝: think how deferring gratification looks in your case? In what situations is it easier or more difficult to you? What helps you defer gratification?

Motivational Mondays

MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY – STEP 10: What can weaken your willpower

3 mind traps that can weaken your willpower 😳
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➡️ 1.Thinking „everything or nothing” 😬
Have you ever thought „I need to do everything from my ‘to do’ list or drop everything”? 🤔
If yes, then you got into „everything or nothing” trap which can have huge impact on your actions and effects (or lack of them 🙄). Thinking like that you don’t see your failures as small errors that you can learn from, you see it as total failure and you might start withdrawing generalized conclusions about yourself like „I’ll never succeed”, „I’m a failure” etc. STOP! ⛔
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➡️ 2. Excessive pessimism or optimism „If I haven’t succeeded in 1 year I’ll never succeed” – that’s excessive pessimism when you have only negative thoughts about your future 1👎. Excessive optimism is when you ignore your past attempts and previous experience and keep thinking that „this time will be different, it will be perfect” 👍. For example, you wanted to workout regularly, you’ve had couple attempts at it and failed each time but now you think that you’ll have the willpower and you’ll workout 6 times a week for 3 months 😬. If you know what I’m talking about write all of such examples down. Now try to make each one of them more realistic e.g. „I’ll try to workout more regularly. I probably won’t be able to workout 6 times a week right away so I’ll workout 2 times this week, 3 times next week and keep improving”.
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➡️ 3. Exaggeration – You exaggerate all difficulties and make everything sound impossible 🙄. „I won’t make it”, „I never do anything right”.
If you do that write all of those thoughts down and write a counterargument to each one 👍

Motivational Mondays

MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY – STEP 9: Training willpower

I’ve got good news for you – willpower can be trained! 😃
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It is often treated like something you either have or not but psychology researches show that you can train your strong will just like your muscles 😃. And nobody was born with a 6-pack, right? 😄
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It is great news because those who aren’t scrupulous naturally can train it. You’ve actually already started it by building your plan using your strenghts and weaknesses (steps 5-6) and by creating visualisation (step 7) 😉
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Since willpower works like a muscle it has limited source of energy and strength. There are things that empower it 👍but there are also things that weaken it 👎. Your goal is to get to know and, if possible, remove your obstacles to having strong will.
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Those most basic ones are stress, tiredness and lack of sleep 😴. It seems so simple, right? Yet you do not always see the connection between those factors and your willpower.
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Task for today: Observe and write down 📝(or analyze past experiences if you’re calm and rested today) how stress and tiredness have impact on your willpower: What situations are those? 🤔 What happens then? How do you react? 🧐

Motivational Mondays

MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY – STEP 8: Willpower

How willpower actually works?🤔
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Willpower divides into 3 parts:
🔸️Power „I want to” – power to do something even though you’d prefer to avoid it
🔸️Power „I don’t want to” – power helping push temptations away
🔸️Power „I desire!” – power that remembers what you desire in long-term
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Willpower is what differs us from animals😉. By forseeing future you are able to not give in to impulses or instincts. We often want to delete lower impulses or some feelings but they are important too! 😉 For example disgust protects you from bad food 🥩, fear from danger ⚠️ and desires help you set goals 😊.
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If you want to improve your willpower it is not about fighting impulses but about using them to help you 🙃.
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Do you know that sometimes you make decisions on autopilot? 🤔 And that’s good because there are so many of them during a day that your brain would not be able to get to them all! 🤯
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Your task for today is to notice that autopilot and improve your self-awarness 😉. Observe and write down the situations when you need your willpower. What thoughts, feelings, impulses appear in those situations? 🤔 Which moments/elements are crucial to making a decision? Noticing them will help you stop that bad autopilot and prepare for those situations earlier. 🤗
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If you want to learn more about it I advice you to read Kelly McGonigal’s book „The Willpower Instinct: How Self-Control Works, Why It Matters, and What You Can Do To Get More of It”

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 63

Today another hint helpful in maintaining change 🤩. Think whether maintaining change is attractive to you, in other words what’s your motivation 🤔
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Answer this question:
➡️Why do you want to maintain the change? 🤔 Write down all the reasons that come to your mind 📝 and keep it so you could go back to it in moments of weakness or doubts in maintaining your change 😉.
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Task for today: I encourage you to create new benefit card (check out step 38) this time focusing on benefits of maintaining your goal 💪
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What benefit card is? It is simply a list of all reasons why you’d like to maintain your goal 🤩. If you’re wondering what’s the point in writing them down and you think „I will remember them” – I’ll surprise you: in the moments of lost motivation it is easy to forget why you want something so much 😉. When you find a temptation in reach of your sight (or hand), you’re stressed and/or tired or you’re in a bad mood those reasons suddenly all get forgotten 🤷🏼‍♀️
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In those kind of situations benefit card might come very useful. Have it always with you (for example as  a note in your phone 📱) and read it in difficult moments to make it easier to maintain your goal 😉. It is best though to read it everyday, even when you’re feeling motivated.
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Benefit card next to process visualisation (step 11) are great tools to strengthen your strong will 💪
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Next week: Permanent change
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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s book “90 days – design your tomorrrow”

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 48

Second part of our emotions vs willpower section ☝️
Do you react totally differently than how you’ve planned when you’re angry, mad or feeling any other strong emotion? 🤷🏼‍♀️ It happens to all of us, that’s why last week we’ve talked about overcoming sadness and today we’ll look closer on how anger 🤬 has an impact on your willpower.
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I encorage you to reflect 🤔 and answer those questions:
➡️ What do you do when you’re angry? 😡 What are your ways to get the anger out, to calm down? 🧘🏼‍♀️ Does anger have an impact on your motivation, willpower? If yes, how?
➡️ When you’re mad do any sabotaging thoughts appear? What are they? Create helpful reaction to them 😊
➡️ What can you do to feel anger without sabotaging your goals and complicating realizing your goal? 🧐 Do you suppress anger and use harmful to you ways (and to your goal) to release the tension? If yes, try finding a solution for that. Create (and write down) a strategy for constructive feeling and overcoming anger and calming yourself down in difficult moments 🤗
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Whenever I feel angry I try to workout 💪 (if possible at the moment) to get the anger out. This way I am even more pumped and get a good workout session 💦 but I also do not end up doing something unfavorable to me like e.g. reaching for unhealthy comfort food or alcohol 😉
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Have you ever tried working out when feeling mad? What are your ways to overcome anger? 😊
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Next week: What is mindfullness
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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 47

Next couple of steps will be about a very important subject – a connection between emotions and your will power and perseverance 💪
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Have you noticed that when you’re angry, mad or feeling any other strong emotion you tend to react totally differently than how you’ve planned? 🤔 We all know it and it is worth taking a closer look on how emotions influence your willpower. Today we’ll start with sadness 😞
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Try answering those questions:
➡️ What do you do when you’re sad? What are your needs to get through the sadness and soothe it? Do you tend to make yourself feel better by eating 🍕🍰🍫? Do you sometimes resign from some important to you actions to reach your goal because of sadness? 😰
➡️ When you’re sad do some sabotaging thoughts appear? Create helpful reactions for them 😉
➡️ What can you do to get through sadness without resigning from your goals and giving up? If you tend to ‘eat the emotions away’ (we all know the term ‘comfort food’ right? 😅) try finding a solution for it. For example change unhealthy snacks 🍿🍫🌭 for healthy ones 🍎🥜🥗 or try finding another ways to soothe the sadness other than eating 👍. Maybe a conversation with someone close to you 💬, watching a comedy 🎬 or a relaxing bath 🛀? You know yourself best! 🤗
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If this excercise is difficult to you and you’ll feel tense 😬, take couple deep breaths when you’re done with the questions, relax your body and have a rest 😘

Next week: Anger vs willpower
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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 44

Have you managed to notice your sabotaging thoughts? 🧐 If yes – great! I hope you’ve written them down because today we’re gonna look for a way to fight them! 👊🏻
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Task for today: for each sabotaging thought create a supporting thouht or helpful recreation 🤗. Now you’ll be able to not only notice a sabotaging thought but to stop and choose how you wanna react❗. Will you accept what the sabotaging thought is telling you or will you, thanks to previously prepared supporting thought or helpful recreation, choose another solution? 🤩
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Working on sabotaging thoughts makes you aware of your choices and you no longer will work or react automatically. 🤗
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Take a pen, piece of paper and write down your sabotaging thoughts and some helpful answer to them! 📝
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Next week: Defeat your sabotaging thoughts
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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 35

Next few steps we’re gonna work on what to do when your motivation drops 🤷🏼‍♀️
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There can be plenty various reasons of losing motivation: difficult time, stressful time, lack of support,  health problems, being tired…😔
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To find motivation again think what could be the reason of its weakening 🤔
Try answering those questions:
➡️ What might be the reason of losing your motivation? 🧐
➡️ What usually helped you in similar situations in the past? 🤔
➡️ In what kind of situations you tend to think „I don’t feel like it” and you feel you’re losing motivation? 😞
➡️ Does losing motivation appear in certain time of a day, e.g. in the evening or is it present all the time? 🤔
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If it’s only in some parts of the day maybe you’re experiencing weakened strongwill which is natural 🙂. However if you’re lacking motivation all the time the reason of it might be deeper and more serious ⚠️.
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Don’t worry, we’ll try to find it in next few steps 🤗. And remember: the fact that you see your lack of motivation and that you want to better understand it is a great success already and not a reason to be sad or angry with yourself! 👍 Be good to yourself 🙏

Next week: Manage your plan
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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 18

Do you know that willpower is a part of our intincts? 🤔 Last week we talked about „fight or flight” response and today we’re gonna talk about „pause-and-plan response” – my favourite 😉
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This mechanism stops an arousal in our body (the one we feel e.g. when seeing a cake 🤤) and increases the amount of the energy that goes into your mind 🧠. Prefrontal cortex, a part of our brain that is responsible for controlling impulses and planning, starts to work harder 💪. It shares an information with other parts of the mind: Launching self-control! Thanks to it we can take deep breath, stop with a hand on a bag of chips, think and…put it down 😉
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Now the good news – not only is self-control a strong instinct like „fight or flight” reaction but you can actually help launching it! 😊 There is an easy, free and accessible for everybody way to do it – the key is to learn to breathe properly. That’s right, breathe. 💨
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In order to improve your willpower slow down the rhythm of your breathing, do 4-6 breaths in a minute 🙏. Try to make each one last 10-15 seconds. But don’t hold your breath (it will only make you feel stressed!) but slowly make each inhale and exhale longer. It is easier to start with prolonging your exhale first. Make sure to exhale all out, this way it is easier to take deep breath in.
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It requires practicing so don’t get mad when you don’t get that rhythm right away. The more you practice the better! 😉
Next week: Empowering your willpower :::
Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”