Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 38

Apart from a little „reminder” of your dream, that we talked about last week, in a moment of crisis a Benefit Card will help you a lot! 😊
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What is it? Benefit Card is just a list of all your reasons why you want to reach your goal 🤩.
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If you’re wondering why bother writing them down ✒ and you think „I remember them all easily 🙄” I’ll surprise you: in moments of lost motivation it is easy to forget why you want to reach your goal that much 😉. When there is a temptation in eyesight (and within reach of a hand 😅), you’re feeling stressed, tired and/or you’re in a bad mood, believe me, those reasons suddenly fly away and it is so hard to remember those 😅.
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In those kind of situations Benefit Card might come very useful! 👍 Carry it with you everday and read it in any moment of weakness to remind yourself why you want to pursue following your dream 😉.
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It is best to read Benefit Card everyday, even when you don’t feel the drop of motivation 😎
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And here’s task for today: Create your Benefit Card and find a way to have it always with you (maybe it could be a note in your phone 📲, a piece of paper in your wallet etc 📄). Write down ALL the reasons that come to your mind, those small ones and big ones, important ones and less important ones 😁
Good luck!
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Next week: Use your support
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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 37

Today we continue the subject of lost motivation 😶. I have a task for you today composed of 2 parts 😁
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Part 1 – Check if you’re not trapped in one of the mind traps 🤯: „everything or nothing” thinking, excessive pessimism or exaggeration (Remember? We talked about it in step 15).
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If you are, create a list of counter-arguments that will help you look at reality without falling into those mind traps 😊
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Part 2 – Come back to the source of your „I want” power 💪, to your motivation. Find a moment to yourself, sit down and answer those questions:
➡️What encouraged you to set this goal?
➡️ What will happen when you reach it?
➡️ What will you gain? What do you want most?
➡️ What will happen when you don’t reach it? What will you lose?
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If you want, find something that reminds you of important reasons why you started 😊. It can be notes, picture of someone who succeeded and inspired you 🤩, some symbol of your motivation. If you don’t have it, create a reminder on your phone that will help you remember those reasons 📱. It can be a picture/note on a screensaver, a symbolic bracelet, a song…The choice is yours! 🤗
 
Next week: Create a benefit card
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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 36

Today we continue the subject of lost motivation 🔽. If the reason of your motivation dropping is a change of circumstances, some difficult situation, be flexible with it! 😉
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Life often surprises us and it is possible that the reality is different than when you’ve set your goal and formed a plan of action 🤷🏼‍♀️.
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That’s why when reality brings you new challenges grab a pen and update your plan! ✒
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Turn your favourite music on 🎶, make yourself a nice cup of tea ☕ and do today’s task: prepare a new plan (remember our SMART method? 🤔 Go back to step 6), new implementation intentions (step 10) and process visualisation (step 11).
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Instead of dropping  everything and quiting be flexible and adjust your plan to new reality 😉
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Your new plan:
S – Specific – what exactly do you want to accomplish? 🤩
M – Measurable – how will you know you’ve achieved your goal? 🤔
A – Achievable/Atractive – why is this goal important to you? 🧐
R – Realistic – are you able to reach it? 😅
T – Time Bound – by when will you reach it? 🕰
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Write down your implementation intentions.
And remember, something done is better than something perfect (but in your head) 😉!
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Next week: Lost motivation – an excercise
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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

Be positive!

I’ll be happy when…

„I’ll be happy when…”
Is that thought stuck with you? 😏 Do you keep thinking that you’ll be happy when something happens? 😬 Or when you’ll accomplish something? 🤔
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I used to think that way. I kept saying to myself „I’ll be happy when I lose weight” 💪, „I’ll be happy when I publish my book” 📕, „I’ll be happy when I get married 👰”.
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And you know what? It doesn’t work that way 🤷🏼‍♀️
Happiness isn’t some kind of a prize 🏆 that comes when you do what you have to do 🙄. You can lose weight, get married and reach all your dreams and still won’t be happy 😞. It’s about your mindset ⚠️
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If you keep thinking „I’ll be happy when…” this happiness will always be somewhere in the future ➡️, it will be always ahead of you and you’ll never catch up 😧.
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You need to find a way to be happy NOW ⚠️. Even when you haven’t achieved your goal, even if you’re e.g. losing weight and got still some kgs to lose 😅, be happy on your way to success 🔜.
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What if you’ll never get what you want (sorry to break it to you but it might happen)? 🤔 What if you keep saying to yourself „I’ll be happy when…” and the ‘when’ never comes and you’ll just lose weeks, months or years waiting for that happiness 😱?
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It’s not something that will come to you. It’s not like you’ll wake up one day after reaching your goal and think „wow, I’m happy now” 😉. You need to change your mindset ⚠️
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Start thinking and focusing on HERE & NOW ⬇️. Start seeing, like actually seeing 👀, what you have, what you’ve done ☺.
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Start being happy about the little things 😉. Instead of thinking „I’ll be happy when I reach my goal” be happy that you’ve started working on that goal 🤗, be happy with every step you take to reach it, be happy about every little obstacle you’ve defeated 💪.
Be happy NOW ⚠️
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Tell me, are you happy? 🤗

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 35

Next few steps we’re gonna work on what to do when your motivation drops 🤷🏼‍♀️
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There can be plenty various reasons of losing motivation: difficult time, stressful time, lack of support,  health problems, being tired…😔
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To find motivation again think what could be the reason of its weakening 🤔
Try answering those questions:
➡️ What might be the reason of losing your motivation? 🧐
➡️ What usually helped you in similar situations in the past? 🤔
➡️ In what kind of situations you tend to think „I don’t feel like it” and you feel you’re losing motivation? 😞
➡️ Does losing motivation appear in certain time of a day, e.g. in the evening or is it present all the time? 🤔
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If it’s only in some parts of the day maybe you’re experiencing weakened strongwill which is natural 🙂. However if you’re lacking motivation all the time the reason of it might be deeper and more serious ⚠️.
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Don’t worry, we’ll try to find it in next few steps 🤗. And remember: the fact that you see your lack of motivation and that you want to better understand it is a great success already and not a reason to be sad or angry with yourself! 👍 Be good to yourself 🙏

Next week: Manage your plan
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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 34

Let’s continue our talk about procrastination so constant postponing for later 🤷🏼‍♀️
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Last week I’ve mentioned that fear of failure might be one of the reasons of procrastination. Today couple words on another possible reason of constant postponing things for later.
You might be surprised but it is…fear of success! 😳
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Yes, sometimes subconsiously you’re afraid of success 😞. Why? You can be scared of the reaction of people around you (e.g. because of jealousy 🙄) or you can be afraid of even bigger pressure that you will not fulfill 🤯 (I’m sure you’ve heard of writers who after a big success of their first book had an enormous difficulty to write another)
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How to remedy it? The awarness and naming the fear of success itself might be very helpful 👍.
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Try answering those questions:
➡️ What are you afraid of in possible success?
➡️ Imagine that you’ve reached your goal. What will happen then?
➡️ Can you, apart from obvious benefits, suffer losses too? If yes, what would that be?
➡️ Is your fear justified?
➡️ Who could you talk to about your fears?
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If you can, ask somebody close to you for support, talk to somebody 💬 who is more objective and can look at your fears and doubts from another perspective 😉
I’m all ears if you want to talk! 😊
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Next week: Use some motivation techniques that you know
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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 33

This and next week you’ll look at postponing things for later closer. Why does it happen to you? How can you prevent that? 🤔
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One of the reasons of procrastinating is FEAR OF FAILURE 😳. It often comes with excessive perfectionism but it might have other sources too.
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This fear can paralyze you to this extend that when you are facing some task you keep postponing it for later and later 🙄 Do you know the feeling? I sure do. And in the end there’s so little time that you explain failure by lack of time 🙄
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How to prevent it? 🤔
1. If it’s perfectionism  that stands in the way and is a reason of fear and procrastination keep repeating this: „Something that is done is better than something perfect”! 🤗 If you have another favourite way of reminding yourself that it is better to do something  not perfect rather than not do it at all – use it! 😊
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2. Divide the task into smaller steps. This might reduce the fear of ton of work that is awaiting you. Reward yourself for each step that  you’ve accomplished 🎖

Now write down the steps of your task or goal.

Does it help?
 
Next week: Fear of success
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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 32

Do you happen to think of yourself as lazy? 🤪 Are you lazy though? 🤔 Or maybe you’re just procrastinating – constantly postponing things that need to be done to the very last second? 🤷🏼‍♀️
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How is it different from being lazy? Lazy people like the state of not doing anything and they feel good about that 😝 while those who procrastinate feel bad about not having done something, they feel guilty and suffer because of that 😫
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Task for today: check if the problem of procrastinating concerns you as well 🧐
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Answer those questions:
🔸️Do you often can’t get to do something, can’t force yourself to work on something that is important to you and you end up not doing it at all? 🤷🏼‍♀️

🔸️Do you often wait for the „perfect” moment to start some important project and you keep postponing it? 😏

🔸️Do you happen to delay realization of some important task by doing some other important (but not crucial) things? 🙄

🔸️Does it often happen that you can’t start some important to you task and you end up feeling stressed and/or scared after that? 😟

🔸️Does it often happen to you that you start working on something that is important to you (e.g. going on a diet, starting writing a book etc) but you quickly interrupt it and never come back to it? 🤷🏼‍♀️
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If you’ve answered „YES” ✔ to 3 or more questions next steps might be very useful to you 😉. We’ll think of some possible reasons of constant postponing important things for later 🤔
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Next week: Fear of failure
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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 31

Do you know that saying „out of sight, out of mind”? 🤔 Turns out that scientific researches prove that wisdom when it comes to fighting temptation and empowering willpower! 💪
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Good healthy mindset probably already suggests you that it is easier not to eat sweets when you don’t have them around in the house 😉
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Brian Wansink, american psychologist learning about eating behaviour did an interesting research with James E. Painter that he describes in his book „Mindless Eating” 🧐
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Gentlemen gave their secretaries chocolates 🍫 on Secretaries week in some office. Some of the sweets were in a box with  a see-through lid where they could see all the chocolates 👀 and some of the sweets were in a normal not see-through box where the content of the box stayed hidden 📦.
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What do you think, which chocolates tempted more to be eaten? 😅 Of course those with a see-through lid 🤷🏼‍♀️. Women that could see the chocolates were tempted 71% times more! 😱😳 They were reaching for chocolates 7,7 times a day while those women who had „hidden” chocolates reached for them only 4,6 times a day.
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You see? Out of sight out of mind 🤗
So here’s your task for today: get rid of all the temptations in your house 😉. Not only sweets but maybe some stuff that you spend too much time on while you could spend the time working on your dreams like PS games or your Netlix account? 🤷🏼‍♀️ Think about it. You don’t have to throw them away/delete them but you can maybe lend those games to your friend or ask your friend to change your password to your Netflix account 😉
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What do you think?  Would that help you?

Next week: Procrastination so constant postponing doing things that need to be done – test
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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 30

Today we continue subject of deferring gratification. If, after last week’s task, you already know that it brings you problems I have good news for you: you can practice the ability to defer gratification (so self-control) 🤗.
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This exercise is from Kelly McGonigqal’s book „The Willpower Instinct”:
It appears that 10 minutes is not a long time to wait for something we want 🕰. Neurologists however discovered that it has great impact on how your brain processes the vision of reward 🤔.
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If inatant gratification is supposed to come after 10 minutes then our brain sees it as future benefit ➡️. Then the system that processes the promise of a reward calms down and strong biological impulse to instant consummation weakens ⬇️.
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Our brain comparing a cookie that we have to wait 10 minutes for 🍪 with a long-term benefit like losing weight 💪 stops leaning towards promised reward that much. In the instant gratification it is the ‘instant’ part that seduces our brain and changes our preferences 🧠
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In order for your brain to think straight make a decision to always wait 10 minutes before you succumb to temptation 😉. If after 10 minutes you still want it, take it. Before the time passes though try to think of long-term benefits you’ll get for resisting temptation. If it’s possible, try also creating some physical or visual distance.
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If your challenge for willpower requires using „I want” strenght (so doing something you don’t feel like doing) you can also use „10 minutes rule” to help you resist the temptation of delaying necessary actions and to force yourself a bit to do them 😉.
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Try making it „do it for 10 minutes, then you can stop”. Let yourself stop working after 10 minutes – it might turn out that as you already had started you will want to continue 😉
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Try making that excercise and write down your results. „10 miutes rule” might work great when you  don’t feel like working out! 💪😁

Next week: How to fight temptation!
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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”