Motivational Mondays

MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY – STEP 2: What are common reasons of lack of motivation

If you lack motivation the 1st step to take is to wonder what’s the reason behind it 🤔
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If you’re a perfectionist your lack of motivation or procrastination may come from the fear that you won’t complete the task flawlessly 🙄. You need to understand that something done is better than something perfect and that you shouldn’t postpone some task over and over 😉!
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Here’s other common reasons for lack of motivation:
1. Avoidance of discomfort: when you need to do some task you know it’s unpleasant (e.g. working out) it is hard to get to it because the idea of staying in comfort is more appealing 🤷‍♀️. In those kind of situations you need to focus on long-term results (e.g. your body after regular working out)
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2. Self-doubt: when you think you can’t do something you’ll likely to struggle to get started. In those kind of situations just focus on doing the task itself, don’t think about the outcome of it 😉
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3. Being over-extended: when you have a lot going on in life, you’ll likely feel overwhelmed. I tend to be in those kind of situations and the key to getting out of this feeling is to cut down the amount of task/project you have running. Pick max 3 things you want to focus on now and work on those. Cross out the rest or postpone it a bit 😉
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4. Lack of commitment to a goal: when you need to do something simply out of a need of obligation but when you don’t really want to do it 🙄. Try to think of some personal benefits for you after accomplishing that task. This will make you feel more commited to the goal.
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5. Mental health issues: a lack of motivation is a common symptom of depression. It’s important to consider whether your mental health may be affecting your motivation level. If so, please see a specialist.
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These are just a few common reasons why you may lack motivation but naming what is the reason of it is a big step to work on improving your motivation and willpower so go on and think which scenario do you classify in. In next steps we’ll learn how to improve our willpower 💪

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 68

Today we’re gonna continue summing everything up ✔. I highly encourage you to reflect on what subjects were most important to you, what did you discover about yourself? 🧐 To make it easier here’s a list of the subjects we went through:
🔸️Training strong will
🔸️Mind traps
🔸️Be good to yourself
🔸️Procrastinating
🔸️Deffering gratification
🔸️Sabotaging thoughts
🔸️Emotions vs will power
🔸️Mindfullness
🔸️Practicing gratitude
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Which out of those subjects touched you the most, made you reflect most, opened your eyes? 🤔
Will those be helpful in the future? How can you use them?
Write down your thoughts 📝
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Next week: Summing up: Your tools
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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s book “90 days – design your tomorrrow”

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 63

Today another hint helpful in maintaining change 🤩. Think whether maintaining change is attractive to you, in other words what’s your motivation 🤔
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Answer this question:
➡️Why do you want to maintain the change? 🤔 Write down all the reasons that come to your mind 📝 and keep it so you could go back to it in moments of weakness or doubts in maintaining your change 😉.
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Task for today: I encourage you to create new benefit card (check out step 38) this time focusing on benefits of maintaining your goal 💪
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What benefit card is? It is simply a list of all reasons why you’d like to maintain your goal 🤩. If you’re wondering what’s the point in writing them down and you think „I will remember them” – I’ll surprise you: in the moments of lost motivation it is easy to forget why you want something so much 😉. When you find a temptation in reach of your sight (or hand), you’re stressed and/or tired or you’re in a bad mood those reasons suddenly all get forgotten 🤷🏼‍♀️
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In those kind of situations benefit card might come very useful. Have it always with you (for example as  a note in your phone 📱) and read it in difficult moments to make it easier to maintain your goal 😉. It is best though to read it everyday, even when you’re feeling motivated.
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Benefit card next to process visualisation (step 11) are great tools to strengthen your strong will 💪
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Next week: Permanent change
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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s book “90 days – design your tomorrrow”

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 47

Next couple of steps will be about a very important subject – a connection between emotions and your will power and perseverance 💪
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Have you noticed that when you’re angry, mad or feeling any other strong emotion you tend to react totally differently than how you’ve planned? 🤔 We all know it and it is worth taking a closer look on how emotions influence your willpower. Today we’ll start with sadness 😞
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Try answering those questions:
➡️ What do you do when you’re sad? What are your needs to get through the sadness and soothe it? Do you tend to make yourself feel better by eating 🍕🍰🍫? Do you sometimes resign from some important to you actions to reach your goal because of sadness? 😰
➡️ When you’re sad do some sabotaging thoughts appear? Create helpful reactions for them 😉
➡️ What can you do to get through sadness without resigning from your goals and giving up? If you tend to ‘eat the emotions away’ (we all know the term ‘comfort food’ right? 😅) try finding a solution for it. For example change unhealthy snacks 🍿🍫🌭 for healthy ones 🍎🥜🥗 or try finding another ways to soothe the sadness other than eating 👍. Maybe a conversation with someone close to you 💬, watching a comedy 🎬 or a relaxing bath 🛀? You know yourself best! 🤗
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If this excercise is difficult to you and you’ll feel tense 😬, take couple deep breaths when you’re done with the questions, relax your body and have a rest 😘

Next week: Anger vs willpower
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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 30

Today we continue subject of deferring gratification. If, after last week’s task, you already know that it brings you problems I have good news for you: you can practice the ability to defer gratification (so self-control) 🤗.
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This exercise is from Kelly McGonigqal’s book „The Willpower Instinct”:
It appears that 10 minutes is not a long time to wait for something we want 🕰. Neurologists however discovered that it has great impact on how your brain processes the vision of reward 🤔.
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If inatant gratification is supposed to come after 10 minutes then our brain sees it as future benefit ➡️. Then the system that processes the promise of a reward calms down and strong biological impulse to instant consummation weakens ⬇️.
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Our brain comparing a cookie that we have to wait 10 minutes for 🍪 with a long-term benefit like losing weight 💪 stops leaning towards promised reward that much. In the instant gratification it is the ‘instant’ part that seduces our brain and changes our preferences 🧠
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In order for your brain to think straight make a decision to always wait 10 minutes before you succumb to temptation 😉. If after 10 minutes you still want it, take it. Before the time passes though try to think of long-term benefits you’ll get for resisting temptation. If it’s possible, try also creating some physical or visual distance.
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If your challenge for willpower requires using „I want” strenght (so doing something you don’t feel like doing) you can also use „10 minutes rule” to help you resist the temptation of delaying necessary actions and to force yourself a bit to do them 😉.
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Try making it „do it for 10 minutes, then you can stop”. Let yourself stop working after 10 minutes – it might turn out that as you already had started you will want to continue 😉
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Try making that excercise and write down your results. „10 miutes rule” might work great when you  don’t feel like working out! 💪😁

Next week: How to fight temptation!
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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 29

Please read and let me know if it sounds familiar 😉

You’re standing in front of a bakery and you see a yummy cookie 🤤. Your friend brings donuts to work 😍. You feel lilke joining your husband and watch TV instead of working out 📺.
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Your brain demands a reward here and now! 🏆. You forget about your goal and all the reasons why you wanted to achieve it. You succumb to temptation… 😞
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Or maybe…?
With your last remains of strongwill you step away from bakery 🤚, you leave dounts from friend somewhere out of sight 🚫, you leave husband in front of TV and you walk into another room to workout and on your way there you remind yourself that each workout gets you closer to your dream body 💪.
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The ability to postpone pleasures or rewards is called ‘deferring gratification’ in psychology 🧠. It is crucial to realize long-distance goals because it helps you not to succumb to temptation each time but to resist because of you goal that is somewhere in the future 😎.
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Why is it so hard to defer gratification? Because seeing temptation or reward instantly launches more primitive and oldest part of our brain demanding gratification right away 🤯. Luckily we also have prefrontal cortex (part of our brain) that can cool that instant rush and demand down because it is responsible for controlling our impulses 🤚.
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Task for today: think how deferring gratification looks in your case 🤔
In what situations is it easier or more difficult to you? 🤔
What helps you defer gratification? 🧐
What makes deferring gratification hard or impossible to you? 🤨

Next week: Deferring gratification – excercise
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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 28

How do you relax? 😉
Today’s last part of „Be good to yourself” series.
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Do you remember when we talked about factors that weaken your strong will? 🤔 It was stress and tiredness and lately we’ve been talking a lot about the danger of treating yourself badly and punishing (and getting into a trap of „everything or nothing” thinking” ⚠️).
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That’s why sometimes in order to rebuild and strengthen strong will you need rest, regeneration and pleasures that will give you energy and motivation to work 🤗.
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Task for today: Make a list of your ways of relax and pleasures. It is important so that they wouldn’t be contradictory to your goal (so e.g. don’t write on your list „eating huge pizza” or „eating chocolate cookies”  when your goal is to eat healthy 😉).
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It might be an evening with a good book 📖 or a movie 🎬, talk or meeting with a friend 💬, relaxing bath 🛀, walk around the neighbourhood 🏞, playing with dog 🐶, relaxing yoga session etc. 🧘🏼‍♀️
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So what are your ways to relax? Tell me! 😊

Next week: Sometimes it’s better to postpone
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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

Self-evolving · Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 16

I’ve got good news for you – willpower can be trained! 💪 It is often treated like something you either have or don’t but psychology researches show that you can train your strong will just like your muscles. And nobody was born with a 6-pack, right? 😉
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It is great news because those who aren’t scrupulous naturally can train it 💪. You’ve actually already started it with implementation intention (step 10) and by process visualisation (step 11) 😉
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Since willpower works like a muscle it has limited source of energy and strength. There are things that empower it 👍 but there are also things that weaken it 👎.
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Your goal is to get to know and, if possible, remove your obstacles to having strong will 😎. Those most basic ones are stress, tiredness and lack of sleep. It seems so simple, right? 🤷🏼‍♀️ Yet you do not always see the connection between those factors and your willpower.
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Task for today: Observe and write down (or analyze past experiences if you’re calm and rested today) how stress and tiredness have impact on your willpower:
* What situations are those?
* What happens then?
* How do you react?
* Is it harder for you to stick to your goal?
* Do you have any ways to help yourself and not to be tempted (turn your „I don’t want to” power on) or to do something that you don’t feel like doing (turn your „I want to” power)? Next week: Stress vs willpower (next week Smiley Future will be on Wednesday!)

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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”