positive · Self-evolving

Feeling sorry for yourself

We all have bad days from time to time 🤷‍♀️. We all go through sad difficult times. We all cry 😥, we all feel insecure sometimes. That’s normal. But what is really important is to find that strenght to get up after we fall. To leave the dark, sad times and come back to life 💪.
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Has feeling sorry for yourself helped anyone? Has feeling insecure, sad helped anyone? 🤔 Has it made anything better, easier? 🙄 The answer is ‘no’. You know what is it really? It’s wasted time 🤷‍♀️.
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I don’t want to be harsh but that is the truth 🤷‍♀️. Time is the most precious thing in the world and we can’t waste it on sad, dark moments/days. I know there are situations (after break-up 💔, in grief 🖤 etc) when we need to have this time, when we need to lay in bed, to cry etc. It’s ok to feel sad, to feel angry, it’s ok to feel ashamed, it’s ok to feel guilty. We all need those feelings! But we all need to end with those feelings at some time too.
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So remember, it’s not worth spending time being sad or anxious 😔. Life is short. If you’ve cried your eyes out after some sad/traumatic experience try to get up and forget about it 💪. Or if that’s too hard seek help. Please 🙏.
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Feeling sad and feeling sorry for yourself just to feel sorry or to arouse interest is pointless and doesn’t help anyone 🙄. Believe me. Your clock is ticking⏰️. Please find that strenght and move forward.
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I wish that all of us always find that strenght.

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 63

Today another hint helpful in maintaining change 🤩. Think whether maintaining change is attractive to you, in other words what’s your motivation 🤔
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Answer this question:
➡️Why do you want to maintain the change? 🤔 Write down all the reasons that come to your mind 📝 and keep it so you could go back to it in moments of weakness or doubts in maintaining your change 😉.
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Task for today: I encourage you to create new benefit card (check out step 38) this time focusing on benefits of maintaining your goal 💪
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What benefit card is? It is simply a list of all reasons why you’d like to maintain your goal 🤩. If you’re wondering what’s the point in writing them down and you think „I will remember them” – I’ll surprise you: in the moments of lost motivation it is easy to forget why you want something so much 😉. When you find a temptation in reach of your sight (or hand), you’re stressed and/or tired or you’re in a bad mood those reasons suddenly all get forgotten 🤷🏼‍♀️
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In those kind of situations benefit card might come very useful. Have it always with you (for example as  a note in your phone 📱) and read it in difficult moments to make it easier to maintain your goal 😉. It is best though to read it everyday, even when you’re feeling motivated.
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Benefit card next to process visualisation (step 11) are great tools to strengthen your strong will 💪
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Next week: Permanent change
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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s book “90 days – design your tomorrrow”

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 30

Today we continue subject of deferring gratification. If, after last week’s task, you already know that it brings you problems I have good news for you: you can practice the ability to defer gratification (so self-control) 🤗.
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This exercise is from Kelly McGonigqal’s book „The Willpower Instinct”:
It appears that 10 minutes is not a long time to wait for something we want 🕰. Neurologists however discovered that it has great impact on how your brain processes the vision of reward 🤔.
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If inatant gratification is supposed to come after 10 minutes then our brain sees it as future benefit ➡️. Then the system that processes the promise of a reward calms down and strong biological impulse to instant consummation weakens ⬇️.
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Our brain comparing a cookie that we have to wait 10 minutes for 🍪 with a long-term benefit like losing weight 💪 stops leaning towards promised reward that much. In the instant gratification it is the ‘instant’ part that seduces our brain and changes our preferences 🧠
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In order for your brain to think straight make a decision to always wait 10 minutes before you succumb to temptation 😉. If after 10 minutes you still want it, take it. Before the time passes though try to think of long-term benefits you’ll get for resisting temptation. If it’s possible, try also creating some physical or visual distance.
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If your challenge for willpower requires using „I want” strenght (so doing something you don’t feel like doing) you can also use „10 minutes rule” to help you resist the temptation of delaying necessary actions and to force yourself a bit to do them 😉.
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Try making it „do it for 10 minutes, then you can stop”. Let yourself stop working after 10 minutes – it might turn out that as you already had started you will want to continue 😉
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Try making that excercise and write down your results. „10 miutes rule” might work great when you  don’t feel like working out! 💪😁

Next week: How to fight temptation!
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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

Self-evolving · Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 16

I’ve got good news for you – willpower can be trained! 💪 It is often treated like something you either have or don’t but psychology researches show that you can train your strong will just like your muscles. And nobody was born with a 6-pack, right? 😉
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It is great news because those who aren’t scrupulous naturally can train it 💪. You’ve actually already started it with implementation intention (step 10) and by process visualisation (step 11) 😉
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Since willpower works like a muscle it has limited source of energy and strength. There are things that empower it 👍 but there are also things that weaken it 👎.
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Your goal is to get to know and, if possible, remove your obstacles to having strong will 😎. Those most basic ones are stress, tiredness and lack of sleep. It seems so simple, right? 🤷🏼‍♀️ Yet you do not always see the connection between those factors and your willpower.
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Task for today: Observe and write down (or analyze past experiences if you’re calm and rested today) how stress and tiredness have impact on your willpower:
* What situations are those?
* What happens then?
* How do you react?
* Is it harder for you to stick to your goal?
* Do you have any ways to help yourself and not to be tempted (turn your „I don’t want to” power on) or to do something that you don’t feel like doing (turn your „I want to” power)? Next week: Stress vs willpower (next week Smiley Future will be on Wednesday!)

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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

Motivation · Self-evolving

Congrats!

Congrats! ⭐⭐⭐
You are an amazing human being! ❤
You are beautiful. 😍
You are strong. 💪
You are capable of anything. 💯
Believe in yourself. 🙏
You are great! 😘
Now read it again

 


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