Self-evolving · Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 16

I’ve got good news for you – willpower can be trained! 💪 It is often treated like something you either have or don’t but psychology researches show that you can train your strong will just like your muscles. And nobody was born with a 6-pack, right? 😉
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It is great news because those who aren’t scrupulous naturally can train it 💪. You’ve actually already started it with implementation intention (step 10) and by process visualisation (step 11) 😉
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Since willpower works like a muscle it has limited source of energy and strength. There are things that empower it 👍 but there are also things that weaken it 👎.
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Your goal is to get to know and, if possible, remove your obstacles to having strong will 😎. Those most basic ones are stress, tiredness and lack of sleep. It seems so simple, right? 🤷🏼‍♀️ Yet you do not always see the connection between those factors and your willpower.
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Task for today: Observe and write down (or analyze past experiences if you’re calm and rested today) how stress and tiredness have impact on your willpower:
* What situations are those?
* What happens then?
* How do you react?
* Is it harder for you to stick to your goal?
* Do you have any ways to help yourself and not to be tempted (turn your „I don’t want to” power on) or to do something that you don’t feel like doing (turn your „I want to” power)? Next week: Stress vs willpower (next week Smiley Future will be on Wednesday!)

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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

Be positive! · Self-evolving

Self-criticism

Are you often criticizing yourself? 🤔 Always unhappy with your accomplishments? Furious about failures? 🙄
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First of all you need to lower your expectations ⚠️. We all tend to challenge ourselves more than others, which is good in a way but you need to know the limit.
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When you fail to do something or do something wrong and you start pulling your hair and are furious think if you’d react same way if your friend had done it 😉
Would you shout at him/her, feel being let down etc? Or you’d pat them on a shoulder, smile and say „That’s ok, you’ll do it tomorrow” or „That’s fine, you’ll do it right next time”? 😊
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You should say same thing to yourself. If it wouldn’t be a big deal for another person it shouldn’t be a big deal if you’d done it. Treat yourself right. ⚠️
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Second of all, we tend to focus only/mainly on failures and stop seeing what we’ve accomplished 🤷🏼‍♀️. We get angry with ourselves for not doing something and we forget about all the other things we’ve managed to do. For example, you get mad because you haven’t wokred out and you ate something unhealthy and suddenly forgot that you’ve managed to workout and eat healthy other 6 days of the week.
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It’s ok to have one bad day and you shouldn’t feel bad about it. Focus on other 6 good days 😉
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If you feel like you’re criticizing yourself too much and you’re never happy with your work try writing down every evening 2-3 things you’ve managed to do that day ✒📄.
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But remember! If you’ve tried to do something and failed that should still go on the list! 😉 It means you TRIED and that’s the most important thing. Most people don’t even get to that step 😉

📸 pic taken in Dominican Republic in 2018

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 13

This is our last step of preparations and after that you’ll be ready to start reaching your goal! 😊
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Now we need to focus on your surroundings and people around you. You are already well prepared so now it’s time to let your close ones know that there will be changes/that you’ll e.g. have less free time etc.
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While focusing on your resolutions and goals you could forget that it would be good to also get your close ones ready. Why?
* You have a chance to present them your plan and to explain why your goal is important to  you and ask them for support 🤝
* Once you’ll tell them about your resolution you’ll feel bigger pressure and it will be harder for you to let go once some obstacles come or you’ll have a bad day 😉
* While talking to your close ones you’ll see their reactions and you’ll know if  you can count on them and have their support or the opposite 😉
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Unfortunately it happens that family or friends react on someone’s will to change with resistance or even anger. There are plenty stories of girls who decided to drop couch potato life and and start working out, eating healthy and they heard „You better stop because you’ll be anorectic”, „Are you crazy?” etc. 🙄
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Usually it comes from people who know that they should change something about their lives too and because they don’t want to do it, it is easier for them to denny it, sabotage positive changes in person next to them etc. 🙄 If you get those kind of reactions look for support in somebody else like me and other members of Smiley Society! 🤗
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But I do hope that you’ll get positive comments only.
Next week: What is willpower and how does it work
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Next week:
Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

📸 pic taken in Greece in 2015

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 12

🧠SMILEY FUTURE🧠
— Step 12
Preparations to start reaching our goal are coming to an end – we start in 2 steps! If you have started earlier I hope that those prepation steps inspire you to possible changes and make your chance for success bigger 💪
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After last long and big step today there’s much simpler and quicker one 😉. Answer only one question: What do you need to reach your goal? 🤔
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Take a moment to write all of those stuff down – from most simple ones to those more complicated, for example: new leggins, prescribed diet, better time management, support from others.
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Maybe during creating your plan or during process visualisation you’ve already realised what you’re missing?
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Use this step to try and get those things, to organize or find a solution you need.
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If you don’t come up with any solution remember I can help! You’re not alone, use Smiley Society support 😘
Next week: Prepare your surroundings
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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

📸 pic taken in 2016

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 7

You already summed up your last year, made a circle of life that showed you which part of life you should focus on and you set a SMART goal – specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and in time bound. Now it’s time to work on yourself and how to use both your strenghts AND weaknesses in achieving your goal 💪
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First of all say out loud what are your strenghts.
* What are you good at? 😁
* What comes easy for you? 🤔
* What are you effective at? 🙈 In what situations do you feel you have biggest impact on something, you feel your power? 💪
* Remind yourself of a difficult situation (at work, at home, some conflict or crisis) in which you did well. What skills, knowledge, experience helped you in it? 🤔
* What do your friends and family appreciate in you? 👍
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Now time for your external strenghts.
* On whose emotional support you can count? Who out of your family, close ones can and will give it to you? Who can you call in a moment of crisis, doubt? ☎️
* On whose support can you count? Who can give you good advice, some hints, answers when you need it? Who gives you honest feedback on how you’re doing? Apart from close ones this can be done in some Facebook groups, people trying to achieve same goal or fighting with similar difficulties. 💬
* What in your life situation will help you achieve this goal? Take your finances, moral support under consideration (e.g. friends/people who can help you create a nice CV, creat a well-balanced diet, create workout plan etc.) 🤔

Source: @chodakowskaeka‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

Smiley Future

SMILEY FUTURE – Step 6

🧠SMILEY FUTURE🧠
— Step 6 – Setting goals (I once posted it already but it’s an important reminder and next step in our Smiley Future)
Goals set right will help you UNDERSTAND the path you need to walk through, it will be easier for you to PLAN your next steps, it will be easier for you to CONTROL if it’s going good, there will be LESS PRESSURE and it will be easier for you to BE PERSISTANT 😊
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Goals need to set with a SMART method 🤓:
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S – Specific – Provide enough detail so that you know exactly what you should be doing. For example, stop setting goals such as „I need to lose 10kg in 3 months”. Make it more „I need to start eating more vegetables and workout 4 times a week” 🥦💪. This is more doable, you have more control over it (as you know exactly what you need to do) and there’s less pressure. Try sticking to it and just wait for results. Same with e.g. growing here on ig. Instead of setting a goal like „I need to get 1k new followers in a month” try „I need to post daily, take more colorful photos and interact with other users more”. Just do it and wait for the results 😉
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M – Measurable – A measurable goal has an outcome that can be assessed as a hit or miss ✔❌. So e.g. you can easily check whether you worked out 4 times this week or posted everyday.
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A – Achievable – An achievable goal has an outcome that is realistic given your current situation. Make sure you actually have the time 🕰 to workout 4 times a week or post daily. Don’t set such goal if you know you won’t make it.
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R – Realistic – Start small. If you set your goal too high („I need to lose 10kg in a month” or „I need to gain 10k followers in a month”) there’s too big pressure and you will give up quickly if you won’t see results you’d want 🤔
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T – Time Bound – Set a timeframe for the goal: „in three months”, „by six months”. Setting an end point for the goal gives you a clear target to achieve 🏁
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Now that you know how to set your goal right let me know what are your goals! 😊

Source: @chodakowskaeka‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

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Be positive! · Self-evolving

Cherishing little things helps succeed

Do you cherish little things? Are you grateful for every small thing? I know I’ve already talked about it but it’s not only for being happier, it helps us with being successful too! 💪
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How?
When you learn to be happy about the little things you also learn to set smaller goals (because smaller goals will also make you happy due to lower expectations 😊). Once you set smaller goals it is easier for you to achieve them and it is easier for you to be consistent, to not give up hence to succeed 😎.
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For example, lets say you want to start a new business. Imagine that ideally you want to have 100 customers within 3 months but 3 months later you’re angry that it didn’t happen, you are frustrated with your dream and give up on the company 😡. Lower your expectations, be grateful for every single customer you get 🙏. Be happy about the 10th customer same way as you were happy about the 1st client you ever got.
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When you learn to do so it will be much easier for you to set yourself smaller goals and, believe me, it is way better to set smaller goals but more often than big goal that will only become a burden on your shoulders, you’ll be stressed and full of anxiety to fulfill it and basically unhappy 🤷🏼‍♀️.
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Do you understand what I mean?
I used to get panick attacks couple years ago. I was a wreck because I had enormous goals and this awfully big pressure (that I put on myself 🤦🏼‍♀️) to be big, to be someone. I wanted my book to be big, to be a bestseller, to have plenty people talk about it and out of 5000 that the publishing house printed only 600 got sold 💔.
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I was devastated but later on I kept thinking „wow, over half a thousand of people read my book!” 😳. Imagine a room with 600 people. It’s a lot of people!
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Of course in the end I still want to be big, I still want those big dreams to happen but instead of having 1 big dream and feeling stressed all the time I chose to change it into many small dreams (that in the end can become that one big dream when put together) and this way to be less stressed. I think it’s a healthy choise 😉
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Even physically it is easier to take couple small steps than do one big jump! 😉