Be positive!

The Power of Thoughts

Do you know that your thoughts have huge impact on your mood, your feelings and your behaviour? It may seem obvious but you need to learn the power of thoughts. With that knowledge you can change your perception on events, on some people, on whole world actually.
To make you understand it more, I’m gonna give you an example and paint a little picture for you. Let’s say 3 people lose their jobs. It is same situation, same environment but what can differ them? Their reactions, their thoughts. One of them will think „Oh no, what will i do now? I’m such a loser!” and be very depressed. Second one will be furious and will be yelling „They can’t fire me! This is discrimination!”. What will the 3rd one think? He’ll be the positive one and will try to look at it differently. „I don’t like it but now I can look for something new, I have biggest motivation for it now”. You can see both anger and hope in the same situation. Always try to think in a positive way in every situation.
Thoughts have impact on what we feel in a present situation. Emotions bring new thoughts that empower and confirm their legitimacy. In anger, for example, we tend to remember injuries and traumas, in depression we focus on negative aspects of our life and when we’re scared we think of all threats. It doesn’t mean that in moments of intense feelings we are always wrong, we tend to distort, ignore and disregard those information that undermine legitimacy of current feelings or beliefs though. The stronger emotions we feel, the more we go into extremes.
Think about that.
When was the last time you overreacted and made a huge deal out of something small?
This happens quite often to me actually but we need to remember to stay calm and not make decisions while being angry, sad or in any strong emotion.
Read more about the power of thoughts and exatly what I wrote here in „Mind Over Mood. Change How You Feel by Changing the Way You Think” by Dennis Greenberger and Christine A. Padesky.

Psychology facts

How to end your day well

Every evening make yourself a list of things that you have managed to do that day. It doesn’t have to be anything big. Did you make someone smile? Did you send that email that you’ve been stressed about? Did you finish reading a book? Did you call your friend and told him you miss him? Or your mom?
Think of anything small but special.
Try to do it every evening. But only good things! Don’t think about things you did wrong or you did not manage to do at all. You’ll have tomorrow to deal with that. Now focus on good things.

So what have you done today?
I did well at work, got a great idea for a new post, had a phone call about my next project and prepared a special surprise for my husband 😊❤

Psychology facts

Differ thoughts from emotions

Learn to recognize emotions. This way you’ll know how to fix them. Can you distinguish anger from fear? People are not always able to tell what they feel. Some of us constantly feel tired not seeing that it’s depression. Some of us are always irritated thinking that they’re losing control of their life when in fact it’s fear. Apart from depression and fear it can be difficult to distinguish anger, shame or feeling guilty. Have you ever heard of a situation when somebody was feeling sad, tired and did not know what to do when in fact he or she was feeling guilty? It is often shown in movies or books that somebody is feeling guilty after somebody’s death and people tend to mistake it with sadness.

Once you recognize and name emotions it is easier to work on them. You can learn that with „Mind Over Mood. Change How You Feel by Changing the Way You Think” by Christine A. Padesky and Dennis Greenberger. I highly recommend that book! You can read there that if you have a problem naming your emotions you need to go deep into your body and think what’s hapenning. If you feel tense, your arms’ muscles and/or your neck is tight it can be fear or irritation; general heaviness can mean bad mood or disappointment.

Our body’s reactions often tell us what we feel. People often mistake their fear with anger as symptons and body reactions (screaming, sweating etc.) are similar. If you learn to recognize your emotions it will be easier for you to control it. When you divide what’s making you angry and what makes you scared, you can focus better on a specific problem and work on it (i’ll tell you how to work with fear or anger in some time). Focus what thoughts come to your mind when you’re feeling angry or scared. Usually when people are scared they tend to think that they’re losing control, that they don’t know what’s gonna happen next. With anger it’s usually „it’s not fair, i deserve more than that!” etc.

You need to learn not only to differ one emotion from another but also to differ emotions from thoughts. Lets say somebody asks you how do you feel and you say „i wanna go home”. It’s a thought, not an emotion. What is the emotion? Perhaps you’re sad? Why?

People think „They don’t need me” when in fact it can be out of fear, not sadness.

Have you ever had to give a presentation at school or work but you didn’t want to do it? Was it because you were ashamed? No. People usually don’t want to give out speeches because they’re scared. They tend to think what other people will think, they tend to imagine that audience will laugh etc. It’s fear, not shame, and once you know it you can work on it. Instead of imagining people laughing, try to visualize that they’re all smiling and applausing. Isn’t it easier to go on stage now?

Don’t confuse emotions with thoughts .With thoughts you can change your emotions!

Usually emotion can be named with 1 or 2 words (sad, angry, ashamed) whereas thoughts are couple words or an image (like audience laughing).

It is very important to learn to differ thoughts, emotions, behaviours and reactions. This was we can consider wchich areas of experience we can change to make us feel better. To be happy! 🙂

 

Can you name two different situations, one when you were scared and one when you were angry? What were your thoughts then?