Motivational Mondays

MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY – STEP 2: What are common reasons of lack of motivation

If you lack motivation the 1st step to take is to wonder what’s the reason behind it 🤔
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If you’re a perfectionist your lack of motivation or procrastination may come from the fear that you won’t complete the task flawlessly 🙄. You need to understand that something done is better than something perfect and that you shouldn’t postpone some task over and over 😉!
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Here’s other common reasons for lack of motivation:
1. Avoidance of discomfort: when you need to do some task you know it’s unpleasant (e.g. working out) it is hard to get to it because the idea of staying in comfort is more appealing 🤷‍♀️. In those kind of situations you need to focus on long-term results (e.g. your body after regular working out)
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2. Self-doubt: when you think you can’t do something you’ll likely to struggle to get started. In those kind of situations just focus on doing the task itself, don’t think about the outcome of it 😉
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3. Being over-extended: when you have a lot going on in life, you’ll likely feel overwhelmed. I tend to be in those kind of situations and the key to getting out of this feeling is to cut down the amount of task/project you have running. Pick max 3 things you want to focus on now and work on those. Cross out the rest or postpone it a bit 😉
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4. Lack of commitment to a goal: when you need to do something simply out of a need of obligation but when you don’t really want to do it 🙄. Try to think of some personal benefits for you after accomplishing that task. This will make you feel more commited to the goal.
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5. Mental health issues: a lack of motivation is a common symptom of depression. It’s important to consider whether your mental health may be affecting your motivation level. If so, please see a specialist.
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These are just a few common reasons why you may lack motivation but naming what is the reason of it is a big step to work on improving your motivation and willpower so go on and think which scenario do you classify in. In next steps we’ll learn how to improve our willpower 💪

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 69

Today let’s focus on summing up on your tools which we used for the last 16 months in our Smiley Future 🤗. Which ones became most useful to you? 🤔
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Here’s a list of those most important ones:
🔸️ Building a goal with SMART method (step 6)
🔸️ Implementation intention (step 10)
🔸️ Process visualisation with positive or negative outcome (step 11)
🔸️ Training will power: reducing stress (step 17), improving your willpower by breathing (step 18), autoobservation (step 19), beating tiredness and feeling burnt out (step 20), finding the source of your ‘I desire’ power (step 20) – which of those elements did you find most useful?
🔸️ Ways of being good to yourself (step 25)
🔸️ Ways of deferring gratification (step 30)
🔸️ Ways of beating procrastination (step 32)
🔸️ Ways to fight lack of motivation (step 37)
🔸️ Working on your sabotagin thoughts (step 42-45)
🔸️ Observing the impact of emotions on your willpower (step 47)
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Which one of those tools helped you most? 🤔
In what way can you use them in the future?
Write down your reflections 📝
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Next week: Summing up: Practicing mindfullness
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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s book “90 days – design your tomorrrow”

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 68

Today we’re gonna continue summing everything up ✔. I highly encourage you to reflect on what subjects were most important to you, what did you discover about yourself? 🧐 To make it easier here’s a list of the subjects we went through:
🔸️Training strong will
🔸️Mind traps
🔸️Be good to yourself
🔸️Procrastinating
🔸️Deffering gratification
🔸️Sabotaging thoughts
🔸️Emotions vs will power
🔸️Mindfullness
🔸️Practicing gratitude
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Which out of those subjects touched you the most, made you reflect most, opened your eyes? 🤔
Will those be helpful in the future? How can you use them?
Write down your thoughts 📝
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Next week: Summing up: Your tools
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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s book “90 days – design your tomorrrow”

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 48

Second part of our emotions vs willpower section ☝️
Do you react totally differently than how you’ve planned when you’re angry, mad or feeling any other strong emotion? 🤷🏼‍♀️ It happens to all of us, that’s why last week we’ve talked about overcoming sadness and today we’ll look closer on how anger 🤬 has an impact on your willpower.
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I encorage you to reflect 🤔 and answer those questions:
➡️ What do you do when you’re angry? 😡 What are your ways to get the anger out, to calm down? 🧘🏼‍♀️ Does anger have an impact on your motivation, willpower? If yes, how?
➡️ When you’re mad do any sabotaging thoughts appear? What are they? Create helpful reaction to them 😊
➡️ What can you do to feel anger without sabotaging your goals and complicating realizing your goal? 🧐 Do you suppress anger and use harmful to you ways (and to your goal) to release the tension? If yes, try finding a solution for that. Create (and write down) a strategy for constructive feeling and overcoming anger and calming yourself down in difficult moments 🤗
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Whenever I feel angry I try to workout 💪 (if possible at the moment) to get the anger out. This way I am even more pumped and get a good workout session 💦 but I also do not end up doing something unfavorable to me like e.g. reaching for unhealthy comfort food or alcohol 😉
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Have you ever tried working out when feeling mad? What are your ways to overcome anger? 😊
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Next week: What is mindfullness
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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 47

Next couple of steps will be about a very important subject – a connection between emotions and your will power and perseverance 💪
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Have you noticed that when you’re angry, mad or feeling any other strong emotion you tend to react totally differently than how you’ve planned? 🤔 We all know it and it is worth taking a closer look on how emotions influence your willpower. Today we’ll start with sadness 😞
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Try answering those questions:
➡️ What do you do when you’re sad? What are your needs to get through the sadness and soothe it? Do you tend to make yourself feel better by eating 🍕🍰🍫? Do you sometimes resign from some important to you actions to reach your goal because of sadness? 😰
➡️ When you’re sad do some sabotaging thoughts appear? Create helpful reactions for them 😉
➡️ What can you do to get through sadness without resigning from your goals and giving up? If you tend to ‘eat the emotions away’ (we all know the term ‘comfort food’ right? 😅) try finding a solution for it. For example change unhealthy snacks 🍿🍫🌭 for healthy ones 🍎🥜🥗 or try finding another ways to soothe the sadness other than eating 👍. Maybe a conversation with someone close to you 💬, watching a comedy 🎬 or a relaxing bath 🛀? You know yourself best! 🤗
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If this excercise is difficult to you and you’ll feel tense 😬, take couple deep breaths when you’re done with the questions, relax your body and have a rest 😘

Next week: Anger vs willpower
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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 31

Do you know that saying „out of sight, out of mind”? 🤔 Turns out that scientific researches prove that wisdom when it comes to fighting temptation and empowering willpower! 💪
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Good healthy mindset probably already suggests you that it is easier not to eat sweets when you don’t have them around in the house 😉
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Brian Wansink, american psychologist learning about eating behaviour did an interesting research with James E. Painter that he describes in his book „Mindless Eating” 🧐
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Gentlemen gave their secretaries chocolates 🍫 on Secretaries week in some office. Some of the sweets were in a box with  a see-through lid where they could see all the chocolates 👀 and some of the sweets were in a normal not see-through box where the content of the box stayed hidden 📦.
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What do you think, which chocolates tempted more to be eaten? 😅 Of course those with a see-through lid 🤷🏼‍♀️. Women that could see the chocolates were tempted 71% times more! 😱😳 They were reaching for chocolates 7,7 times a day while those women who had „hidden” chocolates reached for them only 4,6 times a day.
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You see? Out of sight out of mind 🤗
So here’s your task for today: get rid of all the temptations in your house 😉. Not only sweets but maybe some stuff that you spend too much time on while you could spend the time working on your dreams like PS games or your Netlix account? 🤷🏼‍♀️ Think about it. You don’t have to throw them away/delete them but you can maybe lend those games to your friend or ask your friend to change your password to your Netflix account 😉
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What do you think?  Would that help you?

Next week: Procrastination so constant postponing doing things that need to be done – test
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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 30

Today we continue subject of deferring gratification. If, after last week’s task, you already know that it brings you problems I have good news for you: you can practice the ability to defer gratification (so self-control) 🤗.
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This exercise is from Kelly McGonigqal’s book „The Willpower Instinct”:
It appears that 10 minutes is not a long time to wait for something we want 🕰. Neurologists however discovered that it has great impact on how your brain processes the vision of reward 🤔.
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If inatant gratification is supposed to come after 10 minutes then our brain sees it as future benefit ➡️. Then the system that processes the promise of a reward calms down and strong biological impulse to instant consummation weakens ⬇️.
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Our brain comparing a cookie that we have to wait 10 minutes for 🍪 with a long-term benefit like losing weight 💪 stops leaning towards promised reward that much. In the instant gratification it is the ‘instant’ part that seduces our brain and changes our preferences 🧠
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In order for your brain to think straight make a decision to always wait 10 minutes before you succumb to temptation 😉. If after 10 minutes you still want it, take it. Before the time passes though try to think of long-term benefits you’ll get for resisting temptation. If it’s possible, try also creating some physical or visual distance.
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If your challenge for willpower requires using „I want” strenght (so doing something you don’t feel like doing) you can also use „10 minutes rule” to help you resist the temptation of delaying necessary actions and to force yourself a bit to do them 😉.
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Try making it „do it for 10 minutes, then you can stop”. Let yourself stop working after 10 minutes – it might turn out that as you already had started you will want to continue 😉
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Try making that excercise and write down your results. „10 miutes rule” might work great when you  don’t feel like working out! 💪😁

Next week: How to fight temptation!
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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 29

Please read and let me know if it sounds familiar 😉

You’re standing in front of a bakery and you see a yummy cookie 🤤. Your friend brings donuts to work 😍. You feel lilke joining your husband and watch TV instead of working out 📺.
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Your brain demands a reward here and now! 🏆. You forget about your goal and all the reasons why you wanted to achieve it. You succumb to temptation… 😞
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Or maybe…?
With your last remains of strongwill you step away from bakery 🤚, you leave dounts from friend somewhere out of sight 🚫, you leave husband in front of TV and you walk into another room to workout and on your way there you remind yourself that each workout gets you closer to your dream body 💪.
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The ability to postpone pleasures or rewards is called ‘deferring gratification’ in psychology 🧠. It is crucial to realize long-distance goals because it helps you not to succumb to temptation each time but to resist because of you goal that is somewhere in the future 😎.
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Why is it so hard to defer gratification? Because seeing temptation or reward instantly launches more primitive and oldest part of our brain demanding gratification right away 🤯. Luckily we also have prefrontal cortex (part of our brain) that can cool that instant rush and demand down because it is responsible for controlling our impulses 🤚.
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Task for today: think how deferring gratification looks in your case 🤔
In what situations is it easier or more difficult to you? 🤔
What helps you defer gratification? 🧐
What makes deferring gratification hard or impossible to you? 🤨

Next week: Deferring gratification – excercise
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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 28

How do you relax? 😉
Today’s last part of „Be good to yourself” series.
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Do you remember when we talked about factors that weaken your strong will? 🤔 It was stress and tiredness and lately we’ve been talking a lot about the danger of treating yourself badly and punishing (and getting into a trap of „everything or nothing” thinking” ⚠️).
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That’s why sometimes in order to rebuild and strengthen strong will you need rest, regeneration and pleasures that will give you energy and motivation to work 🤗.
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Task for today: Make a list of your ways of relax and pleasures. It is important so that they wouldn’t be contradictory to your goal (so e.g. don’t write on your list „eating huge pizza” or „eating chocolate cookies”  when your goal is to eat healthy 😉).
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It might be an evening with a good book 📖 or a movie 🎬, talk or meeting with a friend 💬, relaxing bath 🛀, walk around the neighbourhood 🏞, playing with dog 🐶, relaxing yoga session etc. 🧘🏼‍♀️
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So what are your ways to relax? Tell me! 😊

Next week: Sometimes it’s better to postpone
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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”

Smiley Future

Smiley Future – Step 27

What’s the difference between punishment and self-discipline? 🤔 Perhaps you’ve already asked yourself that on our last step about punishing yourself. How to distinguish it? 🧐
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You don’t want to be too strict but on the other hand you need self-discipline so as not to spend the rest of your life living lazily and letting everything go and not reaching any goals 😉.
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Do you know that the word „discipline” means in latin knowledge, giving orders, teaching? 👨🏻‍🎓 As you see it has nothing to do with punishment, right? 😊
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Authors of many books about discipline emphasize that it comes from constant attempts. You fail, you get up wiser and move on 💪. Self-discipline is an effect of your effort and not giving up on next attempts.
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While main task of the punishment is to scare, it only teaches us what to avoid, brings tension, and often, fear and anger 🤢.
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I hope that you see now the difference and as to be good to yourself you’ll start liking self-discipline and avoid punishing 🤗
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How to distinguish them in practice? Common ground of those two often is the will to avoid some activity. Sometimes we need to force ourselves to do something that is beneficial to us (e.g. working out).
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How can we know if our forcing is a part of self-discipline or punishment? 🤔
If you’re not sure think of a situation when you really don’t feel like doing something and answer couple questions:
*Sitation:
*What do you feel then? 🤔
*Is my body tense or loose? Do I clutch my jaw, feel tension in my arms? 😓
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If you feel a lot of tension, anger or fear and negative thoughts about yourself pop into your head it is probably closer to punishment than to self-discipline. You’ll recognize self-discipline when you’ll  be easily able to say why activity that you’re trying to force yourself to is good and beneficial to you 🤗

Nexy week: Learn to rest
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Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow”