— Step 15
Today we’re gonna talk about 3 mind traps which might weaken your willpower and your willingness to act:
1.Thinking „everything or nothing”
Have you ever thought „I do everything from my ‘to do’ list or drop everything”?
If yes, then you got into „everything or nothing” trap which can have huge impact on your actions and effects (or lack of them) 🤷🏼♀️
Thinking like that you don’t see your failures as small errors that you can learn from, you see it as total failure and you might start withdrawing generalized conclusions about yourself like „I’ll never succeed”, „I’m a failure” etc. STOP! 🚫
* If you get trapped into those thoughts write all of them down ✒ Then write a counterargument to each one of them. Get back to it when you have another „everything or nothing” moment.
2. Excessive pessimism or optimism
„If I haven’t succeeded in 1 year I’ll never succeed” – that’s excessive pessimism when you have only negative thoughts about your future 👎
Excessive optimism is when you ignore your past attempts and previous experience and keep thinking that „this time will be different, it will be perfect” 🙄 For example, you wanted to workout regularly, you’ve had couple attempts at it and failed eaxh time but now you think that you’ll have the willpower and you’ll workout 6 times a week for 3 months 💪🙄
* If you know what I’m talking about write all of such examples down ✒. Now try to make each one of them more realistic e.g. „I’ll try to workout more regularly. I probably won’t be able to workout 6 times a week right away so I’ll workout 2 times this week, 3 times next week and keep improving”. :::
You exaggerate all difficulties and make everything sound impossible. „I won’t make it”, „I never do anything right”. * If you do that write all of those thoughts down and write a counterargument to each one
Source: @chodakowskaewa‘s new book “90 days – design your tomorrow” 📸 pic taken in Italy in 2019
You can’t control everything in your life & you can’t predict everything. And you shouldn’t!
We want to have everything organised, planned, to be prepared for everything but life is full of surprises! The more you’ll want to be prepared for everything the less you will be ready for surprises.🤷🏼♀️
It is good to plan things ahead but you need to also be prepared for surprises. You can write down what can go wrong, this way you’ll be a bit prepared and you won’t be that surprised. But what is really important is to look for an alternative solutions once something unexpected comes up. .
Another thing is to get loose a bit from time to time. 🤪 Don’t plan every moment of your life. Let yourself be a bit spontaneous! We tend to be 1 day ahead in our heads. We keep thinking what we have to do tomorrow instead of just being here & now. ☺
It’s good to plan your future but be present in the present moment too. Just as the word ‘present’ tells you to. 🤗
It’s good to be spontaneous and live in the moment but you need to organize your plans and future too.
You need to find that balance in all this. ⚖
I plan my time between Monday and Friday afternoon (with evenings included as I do lots of work after my full-time job) but I never plan some serious „to do” stuff for weekends or days off. This is the time to relax and to be spontaneous. Is it sunny? Lets go on a long walk!
If some things come up during my planned time I don’t close up on other options. If I have e.g Tuesday evening planned because I need to work on my book, blog, music agency or anything else but I get a call from a friend that he’s in town I change my plans. You need to be FLEXIBLE. Just ask yourself „Will something happen if I don’t do it today?”. After all I see my friend once a year. I can do my work tomorrow.
Don’t overuse it. Don’t keep postponing your plans. „I’ll do it tomorrow, today I don’t feel like it”. You may never have the energy to do some work. Just push yourself 😊
You need to be flexible. To be both organised but ready for surprises and spontaneity at the same time.